


Battle Lines 2

by gorgondrifter



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Animal injured, Anya Lives, Bisexual Clarke Griffin, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Clarke and Madi, Clexa, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Grounder Culture, Lesbian Lexa, Lesbian Sex, Lexa back story, Mama Clarke, Mention of Wells, Mentions of past grief, Mother-Daughter Relationship, No Lesbians Die, No major characters die, Polis, Ranya tension, Raven's injury, Some Niytavia, Trigedasleng, True Love, clarke and lexa engaged, mention of Finn's death, mentions of Costia - Freeform, ranya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-05-28 06:46:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 29
Words: 72,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15043079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gorgondrifter/pseuds/gorgondrifter
Summary: Follows on a year later from Battle Lines. Clarke and Lexa have been living happily in Polis and raising the nightbloods. Madi is being trained at Polis after Ontari destroyed her village and was a handful. In this version Madi is 12 although she would have been 7 in the TV show at this point because of the praimfaya time jump not happening. Anya was shot but pretended to be dead and escaped and has been far away from events, unaware of the events since that day.Part 2 of theBattle Lines series





	1. Anya

**Author's Note:**

> Just a reminder that I am happy with constructive feedback but will delete any outright hate/negativity.
> 
> I hope that you enjoy this story. It's going to be Clexa focussed mainly but I always try to show respect to the other characters and relationships in the 100 and write them as close to character as I can. One word of warning though Jaha is sort of the villain here though he believes in what he is doing.

Anya had felt the bullet ripple through her. She had gasped and died (or so _skaikru_ had believed) affected by the plant that she ingested to feign death. She hadn't even considered that her plan to escape Clarke would be ruined by nearly dying or that Clarke would have cut her loose and let her go anyway. She had been paralyzed, unable to react when Clarke had cut off her braid, her face a picture of sadness as she leaned over her body.

She had told her people to have someone collect the body but she had been gone before they could take her. If the plant had not worn off in time she may have never escaped. When they came back to collect her, she was already hiding in the distance and they assumed that her own people had discovered the body and stolen it.

She had meant to get back to Lexa, to return but in her weakened state she had been attacked by members of _azgeda_ on the way, members who should have not even been in the territory. Anya took it as a sign that they were close to betraying Lexa. It had been coming for a while.

She fought them and escaped but the wound affected her, limiting her ability to fight back and she just made it to the water and threw herself into its intense stream, letting the current carry her away and far from the _azgeda_ traitors.

Exhausted, Anya found an overhanging tree root to grab onto and dragged herself up onto the shores. She made it to a tiny settlement of people before passing out.

A year and almost seven months had passed. Anya had fully healed though it had taken her many months. She had soon realised that everyone would think her dead after such a long time. She should've returned sooner but Anya wasn't sure why she hadn't. She only knew that her failure had haunted her and that at each turn she had found new dangers to keep her from getting home.

She found herself now in Shadow Valley in the lands of _louwoda kilron_. It had been quiet in the last year. Everywhere seemed more settled, more peaceful. Anya often thought of returning to her people but doubted it would matter now.

 _It has been too long_ she thought.

_They have all forgotten about me by now, the leader who failed them._

The thought was a dark reminder to herself that she was alone now and must survive alone. That was the way it was. It wasn't new to her.

She hid in the mass of green trees, staying low in the grasses and peering into the village. It was normally too quiet, dead quiet. Anya had visited it before and found it empty, the inhabitants all gone. She found signs of a massacre. All the evidence pointed to some sort of attack that had occured long before.

The sound of people had caught her ear when she'd been hunting in the woods that day. Anya crept closer watching one figure sitting at a table in the centre of the village. Posted around the figure were sentries. They kept their distance but patrolled as if guarding the person.

Anya raised her head up a little higher to see the figure clearly, still cautious of being seen. When she saw _Leksa_ , her face unadorned and clean, she almost got up and moved straight towards her. It had been so long since she'd seen her second, her commander. Lexa wore a long jacket and looked more peaceful than Anya had ever seen her. She was reading several documents and seemed fairly engrossed.

Lexa suddenly raised her head and smiled broadly and the sight of it shocked her. Anya had known Lexa since she was a child and she had often been a serious child. After Costia had died, she had been even worse, rarely smiling, the pain of it tingeing her every interaction with a bitterness. Lexa looked almost unrecognisable from Anya's memory of that person.

A strong, young blonde woman with shorter hair and noticably large breasts strode towards Lexa, carrying several fish on a line in one hand and a fishing spear in her other. She wore a black vest top and black trousers and she had a knife attached to one leg and a small pistol attached the other.

Anya thought that she looked familiar but wasn't sure who she was. She stopped and turned around as a young girl with dark, braided hair ran towards her and Anya recognised the blonde's face.

_Clarke of the sky people. The enemy._

Anya's last memories of her, before being shot was of their bitter fight. The girl had showed great spirit and intelligence. She had spoke of working together but then her people had shot Anya as soon as they were close. A surge of anger rose within Anya as she watched the sky girl. What was she even doing there?

"The berries are ripe!" the young girl exclaimed, following the blonde.

Clarke turned away and carried on walking towards Lexa at the table.

"That's nice," she said, feigning disinterest. "Come on. I caught dinner."

"Clarke you promised-". The pair turned to face each other. "There's enough. They're everywhere. _Pleeaase_."

Anya watched the blonde tilt her head as if expecting something more.

"I'll train twice as hard for a week and do my studies without complaining."

"Two weeks," said the blonde.

Anya watched the negotiation. They didn't look related but she recognised Clarke's manner towards her. They acted like mother and daughter. Anya had trained enough seconds herself to see this.

"Deal," said the girl. "Come on. We can collect more."

"After we eat," Lexa intervened.

The young girl looked at her and then back at Clarke as if to complain.

"Don't look at me Madi. She's the commander. Now take these to get cooked."

Clarke beamed and Anya could barely see the troubled blonde girl that had jumped off the dam with her. She seemed as transformed as Lexa.

"You've gotten very good at that," said Lexa standing up.

"Fishing or negotiating?"

"You were always good at negotiating," Lexa murmoured.

Clarke wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her into a kiss and Anya thought she was going to die of shock.

_This can't be..._

_Lexa would never.._.

She watched Lexa tilt her head sideways and kiss Clarke back with passion, their bodies pressed together.

_With our enemy...?_

It couldn't be true but as she watched the broad grin appear on Lexa's face when they pulled apart, Anya could see that it indeed was true. Lexa was in love with the enemy.

 _I should've never stayed away_ thought Anya. _How could this have happened?_

 

 

 


	2. The Child From Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke discuss recent problems and the time that Clarke almost caused a diplomatic incident. 
> 
> We see a flashback of how Clarke came to meet and care for Madi and how some events have changed Clarke forever.

"Are we sure this is a good idea? With what has been happening with the defectors?"

Clarke sat on their bed behind Lexa, braiding Lexa's hair. Lexa turned her head sideways at the question. Clarke finished the braid and pressed the symbol of the commander to Lexa's forehead as she had done many times before.

"If we don't at least try to negotiate with him, more people will surely join his rebellion," Lexa replied calmly.

Clarke couldn't help but feel angry and ashamed that he was one of her people. Lexa was right. They had to attempt to negotiate but Jaha would likely refuse to listen. He rarely listened to anything other than his own inner voice. Lexa noticed her frown and took her hand in her own, holding it against her waist.

"You did not do this Clarke. He did."

"I know but it makes it worse that he's one of my people."

Lexa drew Clarke's arm tighter around her.

"This is personal for you. Because of Wells."

It was a statement more than a question. Clarke always felt a little sad at the mention of his name. She had been so angry with him and so terrible to him when he had only ever meant to protect her. She was so grateful that they had repaired their friendship before he'd died. He hadn't died thinking she hated him at least.

"I grew up with Jaha and Wells. Then Jaha floated my dad and everything changed. Wells would be ashamed of him for what he's doing now. He thinks he's doing the right thing but he's delusional."

Lexa brought Clarke's hand up to her lips and kissed the back of it once.

"From what you told me about Wells, he was a true friend. It's a shame his father has no such loyalty."

"I don't want to have to stop Jaha but we can't let him keep doing this. At the rate he's recruiting he will soon have an army."

Lexa was watching her with a calm expression.

"I know. That's why we will stop him."

"Maybe we shouldn't have let Madi come. It's too dangerous for her here. She lost her parents, her whole village."

"She may be the commander one day. We cannot shield her from everything. She wanted to show you were she grew up. She sees you as her mother."

Clarke seemed lost in thought.

"And you see her as your daughter."

Clarke caught her gaze and raised an eyebrow.

"Don't you?" Lexa asked, more as a challenge than a question.

"She has no one but us. She's just a child."

Lexa watched her, with a knowing look. She had been just a child herself when they had taken her. She knew that the world did not care how young Madi was. She leaned in towards Clarke whose expression was still marred with worry.

"We can't always be there to protect her. The world can be harsh. We have to prepare her to survive without us if necessary."

Clarke's blue eyes bore into her own.

"I know. I just can't let anything happen to her and she's so stubborn. She doesn't listen. I feel bad for all those times I completely ignored my mom when she was just trying to protect me. I was a difficult child."

A smile tugged at the corner of Lexa's mouth.

"I can imagine."

Clarke grinned and pressed her lips to Lexa's, their hands still tightly gripped together as they made out on the bed. Clarke could feel herself getting lost in the kiss, the sensation of Lexa's lips on her so addictive that she might never want to stop.

"We better not get too distracted," said Clarke pulling away. "The meeting."

"I would say 'let him wait' but I can't imagine that would be wise. He will be difficult enough without making him wait for us."

Lexa raised her eyebrows.

"Besides," she continued. "The last time you kissed me right before a meeting, it nearly caused a diplomatic incident."

Clarke smirked.

"It was worth it though."

Lexa spun her head around, waving her hand as she talked.

"Clarke! He was so insulted that I had to promise him twice as much grain the next winter to keep him from leaving the council."

"I lost track of time," Clarke replied instantly.

"You wouldn't let me _leave_."

"I wasn't stopping you."

"You tied me to the bed and said I couldn't leave until you were done with me."

Clarke pouted trying to win the argument by being adorable now.

"I was trying to be spontaneous."

The sky girl leaned forward glancing down at Lexa's lips and then back to her eyes again. Lexa gulped, holding her gaze.

"Besides you weren't exactly complaining about it at the time."

Lexa's heart beat a little faster as she saw the lust in Clarke's eyes.

"It was very enjoyable," she stated, trying not to get hypnotised by those lips just an inch from her face. "I'm just saying that it was unfortunate that it got in the way of my duties."

"Sorry _heda_ ," Clarke teased in a very flirtatious tone. "You can punish me for it later if you want. I'm sure you can think of some way to pay me back."

Several erotic scenarios suddenly started to play out in Lexa's mind.

"Good luck," Clarke said kissing her on the cheek.

"You can still join me at the negotiation if you want," Lexa said softly.

Clarke shook her head.

"I promised Madi I would dye her hair and I get the feeling that Jaha seeing me would make things worse. It's because of me he started this revolution."

" _He_ chose to betray us and his own people," Lexa corrected. "You are not to blame."

Clarke nodded but she still felt partly responsible for Jaha's revolution. If they hadn't fallen in love Jaha would not have declared Lexa unfit to command.

 

Nine months earlier.

Clarke had been attacked just two months after living in Polis. Some had not agreed with their relationship and an angry group had gathered. They had been walking through the square with an escort and a young grounder woman with black hair had charged at her, plunging the knife into her stomach before Lexa had shielded her from further attacks from the angry mob.

Her mother had been called for immediately but they had been fighting a losing battle. Clarke barely remembered what happened but she had been dying. Later they told her that Lexa had been bleeding black and her mother had seen it and questioned her.

She tested the blood able to do nothing more than wait for Clarke to pull through. Then she'd had an idea. A desperate one. Nightblood had great healing properties. A bone marrow transfusion from Lexa might just save her daughter. It had worked and Clarke had had bled black ever since that day. Clarke had been fine but Lexa had been distraught at the thought of losing her.

 

Seven months earlier.

Clarke walked into the training area looking for Aden and the other nightbloods. She heard furious cries from the _fleimkepa_.

"What is going on in here?"

Clarke yelled with agony when the metal trap clamped around her leg, cutting deep into her skin. A young girl with wild hair charged forward, roaring at her and attacked her with a knife. Clarke shielded herself expecting more blows but when she bled and the girl saw her blood, she exclaimed _natblida_ and her eyes went wide before she ran off.

Lexa had been enraged but Clarke reminded her that she was just a child and not aware of her actions. Several times she had watched the girl training and began to sketch her. Gaia struggled to control her and she often ran off. She seemed to fear and obey Lexa but when Lexa wasn't present she returned to her disobedience.

The girl was watching her draw one day but turned away when Clarke caught her as if pretending she hadn't seen her. It gave Clarke an idea. She left the finished sketch on a rock and hid out of sight and Madi found it and picked it up. At the corners of her mouth there was a slight smile and Clarke knew then how to get through to her.

She left multiple drawings for the girl over time and Madi got bolder in her curiosity. Eventually Clarke invited her to draw with her, giving her some charcoal and paper. It soon became their routine after each training session. Gaia noticed but did not complain, as if realising that this was what Madi needed but she watched the pair, observing them every now and then.

Many months later Clarke was so used mothering Madi that she felt like her own child. Madi came to her to get her hair braided in the morning. She sometimes fell asleep in Clarke's arms when Clarke read her stories. She often carried her to bed and Madi kissed her goodnight each time. Everyone at Polis just seemed to accept Clarke as Madi's parent.

Though Clarke could not replace what Madi had lost she was was determined to protect her. The child made Clarke focus less on her people and more on her role as a parent, her priorities shifting. It had been a surprise to Clarke to come to love the nightblood child as if she was her own but she did and the little girl surprised her by caring for her just as much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heda - commander  
> Fleimkepa - Flamekeeper  
> Natblida - Nightblood


	3. The Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anya continues to observe Clarke and makes her move. Anya struggles to understand the changes in her commander since she has been away.

Anya continued to follow the blonde girl, unable to understand how she could have gotten to Lexa of all people. Lexa was the strongest and smartest second she had ever had and the best nightblood she had ever seen. She was ruthless and intelligent and never let her emotions get in the way of her leadership.

Clarke was a sky person who could barely fight, had been unable even to swim and was the person who had murdered three hundred of her warriors. She had burned them all alive and Anya had been unable to do anything about it.

Clarke had killed another of her men, even before that, when she had taken her for her healing skills to save her second. Clarke had failed to save her but despite her lack of fighting skills, she had murdered a man and escaped.

They had been fighting each other since the sky people had fallen to the ground. The blonde was sat now in front of a campfire, rubbing red dye down strands of the young girl's hair. The young girl was talking in _trigedasleng_ excitedly about someone named Octavia and Clarke reprimanded her, not very harshly, telling her to speak English.

The girl was clearly still learning the language and Clarke seemed to insist on her speaking in it at all times to practise. As they talked Clarke looked at Madi with what Anya could only call love and warmth in her eyes. Madi eventually lay down in Clarke's lap facing upwards towards the stars and Anya watched Lexa return, studying her movements.

She was dressed as a commander and had clearly returned from an important meeting. She gazed at Clarke and Madi as if they were the most important things in the world and sat down next to them on the ground. Lexa turned her head and kissed Clarke on the cheek noisily.

"Ewww," Madi complained. "Not in front of me."

Lexa grinned and buried her head in Clarke's hair as if to hide her laugh.

"Madi," Clarke warned. "She is allowed to kiss me on the cheek."

Lexa who was still stifling her laughter in Clarke's hair said, "She's definitely your daughter."

Clarke turned and raised her eyebrows.

"Oh yeah. Who taught her how to kill a man in three seconds flat?"

"It's my duty to teach the next commanders," Lexa replied, pretending to be serious.

Clarke's eyes danced in the light of the fire with humour.

"You _enjoyed_ teaching her that."

Lexa smirked a little, her eyes darkening.

"It was my duty."

Clarke smiled and Madi's breathing slowed. She had fallen asleep in the sky girl's arms. Clarke moved as if to pick up the girl but Lexa shook her head and touched her arm.

"Let me," she whispered.

Clarke glanced at her, a question in her eyes.

"I want to," she stated. "I can't show favouritism in Polis."

Clarke nodded and kissed Madi once on the forehead. She moved her arms back and let Lexa lift her. Lexa took the sleeping girl gently in her arms and carried her to the hut.

Clarke's eyes followed them and she smiled weakly and turned back to the fire. Anya took her opportunity and moved forward slowly, creeping behind the blonde girl. She raised her blade to her throat and felt Clarke's whole body stiffen.

"Don't make a sound," she whispered.

Anya led her away and out of sight watching for Lexa's return.

"This is a bad idea," Clarke warned as they moved but Anya held the blade at her throat until they were far enough away.

She stopped and moved to face the girl, still holding the knife. The blonde's eyes went wide with shock at the sight of her.

"Anya. But you're dead. I saw you die."

Anya glared at the girl.

"You saw what I wanted you to see."

"Lexa will be so happy you're alive. She thinks you're dead."

Anya curled her lips back into a sneer.

"You didn't tell her how though did you? That your people shot me."

Guilt flashed in Clarke's eyes.

_I thought not._

"I didn't know they were going to shoot you. I meant everything I said to you."

Anya pressed forward and Clarke's eyes flickered down to the blade.

"How did you get to her? What tricks did you use?"

Clarke looked confused, her blue eyes widening further.

"Who? Lexa?"

"I saw you kiss her. She would never betray her people. You are the enemy."

Clarke closed her eyes and slightly shook her head.

"No. It's over. We are in the coalition. We swore fealty to Lexa."

Anya narrowed her eyes.

"You lie."

"No. I swear it."

"Why would I trust the oath of our enemy? Now tell me how you did it? How did you get to Lexa!"

Anya pressed the blade closer.

"Let her go!"

The voice came from behind her clear and firm. Anya turned around. Lexa green eyes displayed shock but the rest of her face was a mask as always.

"Anya?" she said, in a husky voice. "I thought you dead."

"Her people shot me," Anya told her quickly. "She spoke of peace and then when my back had turned they attacked me."

Lexa met Clarke's eyes. The blonde looked even guiltier now.

"Is it true?"

"Yes. I'm sorry. I let her go so that we could work together but my people shot her."

Lexa pressed her lips together and nodded as if understanding. Her eyes were focussed on the distance.

"And you knew that I would not negotiate with you if I knew what they did."

"Yes."

Anya watched Lexa struggle with the new knowledge.

"Was the braid even hers?"

Anya snarled unable to keep quiet now.

"She cut it from me when she thought me dead."

Clarke and Lexa exchanged a quiet look.

"She brought it to me as a peace offering," Lexa told her.

Anya snapped her head back to Clarke, feeling as if she was missing something that they had communicated.

"How did she get to you? How did she turn you?"

Lexa shook her head in disbelief.

"What do you mean?"

"If you are with her, then you betrayed your people. The commander is not allowed to love and certainly not the enemy. You are sleeping with the enemy."

Lexa watched her, as if analysing her words. She raised her eyebrows as she spoke.

"Anya. I have betrayed no one. We are to be married soon."

Anya went very still not sure she had heard her right. The knife was still tight in her hand and Clarke flinched as it nicked her.

Lexa straightened herself, appearing angrier now. Anya recognised the look in her eyes. It was a warning that her patience was being tested.

" _Let her go_. As your commander I am giving you an _order_."

Lexa sounded very irritated now and there was a dangerous glint in her eyes urging Anya to obey or else. Anya lowered her hand, still glaring at Clarke with fury.

"I will find out what you did to her," Anya said firmly.

Clarke looked a little alarmed but glanced at Lexa again who moved straight for her wound with her fingers, checking the damage tentatively.

"I'm fine Lexa," Clarke reassured. "It's just a nick."

Lexa stared into the blonde's eyes and her lower lip actually trembled. Anya observed it with dread.

_How has she become this weak?_

_I will find out._

She tensed her whole body as she watched them, only one thought going through her mind. She would find out what Clarke had done to her commander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigedasleng - Grounder language


	4. Polis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke return to Polis with Anya and find Raven waiting for them. Ranya don't get on at first but will probably be end game. Sorry sea mechanic and doctor mechanic fans. I decided on Ranya for this story because it seemed to fit but I like all of these ships personally.

As they travelled back to Polis on horseback, Clarke caught Anya watching her with suspicion in her eyes.

"I don't think she trusts me," Clarke stated.

Lexa turned her head, her deep green eyes focussed entirely on her.

"The last time you met your people were her enemies. She just needs time to learn of the changes."

Clarke didn't seem comforted by her words. She respected Anya a great deal. They had escaped together from Mount Weather. Anya had even smiled at her once when they'd fought and she had praised Clarke but so much had changed.

"What about you?" Clarke asked. "You were close to her. I know that her death affected you."

Lexa's eyes were on her now, soft and knowing. She looked regal with her hair hooded. She was always picture of strength and elegance on horseback.

"Anya was one of my first teachers when I was taken to Polis," Lexa said wistfully. "She was a tough but fair teacher. She taught me many valuable lessons that helped me to survive. You are lucky you survived fighting with her at all. She is one of the best warriors that we have."

"Oh. I very nearly didn't," Clarke joked.

A look of concern came over Lexa that Clarke recognised. Ever since she had nearly died and had to have the nightblood transfusion Lexa had worn that look more frequently. Clarke thinks that she was lucky she remembered so little because by the way everyone treated her afterwards it had been a very close call. Lexa and her mother had both been visibly distraught when she awoke.

"You should try to spend some time with her so she can see that you're still you and that you haven't changed."

Lexa blinked twice and locked her gaze with Clarke's.

"What if I have?"

"You haven't changed. You've just allowed yourself to be happy. We both have. That's not a bad thing."

Lexa's leg bumped past Clarke's as they rode close by. Clarke wanted to ease all her worries but she knew that it was going to be tricky. It would take time for Anya to accept the changes.

 _Wait until she hears blood must not have blood_ thought Clarke. _I can't imagine she'll be happy about that._

"You're right. I should spend time with her. Help her to see that the new ways are better."

"But also because you care about her and you are very happy that she's not dead."

Lexa smirked at Clarke's tenacity. She had to keep at her point until it got through. She only did this to remind Lexa that it was okay to be human too. Deep down Lexa sometimes wondered if she _was_ still the same since she met Clarke. She had been more than happy with Clarke for the past year but doubt still nagged at her when she thought of Clarke's injuries at the hands of the mob.

She had been so close to _losing_ her.

Afterwards Lexa had tried to tell Clarke to go home to Arkadia, that it was unsafe for them to continue being together. Clarke had had none of it. She had told her that it was the coward's way out, that she would not leave the woman she loved just because a few people could not accept it.

The terrible memories of Costia had resurfaced but Clarke had been there reasoning with her, telling her that she couldn't go back to living in Arkadia permanantly without Lexa for anyone. Lexa glanced at her former teacher and wished that she could make her understand just how much Clarke had done for her.

She had been cut off before. Cold. She'd been unable to let herself truly care for anyone. Memories of Anya showing her how to hold a sword and teaching her to fight flooded through her. Memories of her kindness as she had encouraged Lexa to be strong and that she didn't have to be the biggest warrior but must be the smartest.

Lexa blinked as she watched her scowling at Clarke with narrowed eyes.

_Clarke's right.She does not trust her. I must speak with her._

 

When they got back to Polis, Raven was waiting to greet them in the throne room.

"Hey Griff. Took you forever."

Clarke rushed forward and embraced Raven.

"What are you doing here?"

"What I can't come for a visit?"

Clarke raised her head and met her gaze as if to say 'really'.

"Okay. I came to find out about this A.I stuff. I wanted to see the pod and-."

Anya entered the room and Raven stopped talking glancing at Clarke and back at Anya with suspicion.

"It's okay. She can be trusted," Clarke told her.

Lexa shot a look at Clarke as if she had thought that Clarke would be less trusting of Anya, knowing that the feeling wasn't mutual.

"I know that I can't dismantle the sacred junk but I wanted to see if there were any logs still salvagable in the computer system. It could be useful."

Clarke looked towards Lexa for approval.

"I will send for Gaia to show you to the pod Raven."

Lexa motioned to her guards to fetch the _fleimkepa_.

"What's her problem?" Raven asked suddenly in a low tone. "She's staring at you like you stole her boyfriend."

Clarke looked unimpressed with her Finn jibe and shook her head. She turned around and introduced the grounder.

"Raven. This is Anya. Lexa was her second."

Raven's mouth curled into a sneer.

" _That_ Anya?"

"Yes."

Raven glared at the woman keeping her eyes on her.

"I thought they put a load of bullet holes into her."

"It's complicated," Clarke interjected. "I'll explain later."

Anya stared back at the mechanic refusing to be moved by her hostility. She stood very straight, appearing unimpressed and unafraid as if Raven was barely an annoyance.

"You are one of the sky people," she stated.

"Yeah. One of the ones your warriors tried to murder."

"After you burned down a village."

"I didn't touch your damn village."

Lexa and Clarke shared another look between them. This could easily get out of hand.

"It serves no one to dwell on the past," Lexa said quickly. "Anya is a leader of our people and Raven is of unique value to the sky people for her skills. You will treat each other with respect while you are here."

Clarke glanced between each of the women as they stared each other down.

"Raven!"

"Alright."

The brunette calmed down but Anya remained ready to respond.

"Anya," Lexa warned. "She is my guest."

The grounder warrior lowered her gaze and just at the right moment, Gaia appeared in the throne room to break the tension. Raven walked towards her, looking Anya up and down as she passed before exiting the throne room.

"Clarke. I would like to speak to my teacher alone," Lexa said in a formal tone.

"I'll go and check in with Indra. She should be back from Arkadia by now."

Clarke brushed one hand down Lexa's arm giving her a knowing look and then left the room.

"Leave us," Lexa told her guards, raising her hands.

Lexa turned to meet her mentor's eyes once they were completely alone.

"We have a lot to talk about," said Anya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fleimkepa - flamekeeper


	5. Teacher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anya and Lexa have their version of a heart to heart.

Lexa faced Anya in her throne room as a commander would her subject but internally she felt like she was a child again, caught doing something she shouldn't and now having to face the consequences for it.

She steeled herself, keeping herself calm and her emotions hidden. Deep in her thoughts memories of when Anya was her teacher threatened to surge up. She reminded herself that Anya was not in charge of her any more and that she was no longer a child but it was hard not slip back into that familiar relationship.

"You have forgotten all my lessons," Anya said in accusation. "All those years of training have been discarded."

Lexa stood her ground as her teacher displayed her disappointment.

"I have forgotten nothing."

Anya raised her head, meeting Lexa's eyes with her own. Her hair was long and wavy and cascaded down her shoulders showing layers of blonde with dark hair underneath. Her jaw was angled and sharp, her cheekbones high and her eyes fierce and narrow. Lexa kept her hands at her sides and was unmoved as Anya continued to admonish her apparent 'weakness'.

"What happened after I left?" she asked finally.

Lexa took in a breath. _Where to start._

"Clarke came to me and offered to cure the reapers if we joined forces to defeat the mountain."

Anya stopped at the mention of Mount Weather.

"What of our people? Did you defeat them?"

Lexa gulped. This was not a fond memory for her.

"Not exactly. I betrayed the sky people and made a deal to free our people."

"So the mountain men still live?"

"No. Clarke destroyed them."

Anya widened her eyes in confusion.

"Clarke? She can barely even fight. She has no training."

Lexa sneered a little at the disrespect towards her _niron_ 's abilities

"She used their own technology to destroy them from inside."

"How many did she kill?"

Lexa held her gaze feeling a slight pride well within her.

"All of them."

Anya's eyes widened further and she turned to the side, considering this new information.

"So they are gone. We are free of them. If you left her how did you come to be together?"

Lexa stared off into the distance as she remembered her betrayal and those moments she had had to walk away.

"Clarke become known as _Wanheda_ after her victory. She left her people to be alone afterwards and was not seen for months. Queen Nia started to question my strength. She sent bounty hunters to find Clarke, so I convinced Prince Roan to bring her to me in exchange for his freedom."

"To kill her and claim her power."

Lexa stood very still.

"To protect her and to invite _skaikru_ to join the alliance."

Anya looked disappointed in her again. Lexa turned to the side.

"And she agreed?"

"Not at first but she bowed before me and became the ambassador to her people."

Lexa remembered Clarke on her knees fondly, those blue eyes staring up into her own from behind the mask of _wanheda_.

"That's when she corrupted you then?" Anya said with distaste. "When she became ambassador."

"No," Lexa stated with a softness in her voice. "I loved her before the mountain fell and I kissed _her_. She did not corrupt me. It was me that betrayed her."

Anya glared now.

"You are the commander. You cannot afford to let your feelings get in the way of your duty."

"I know."

"This makes you look weak. People will question your loyalty to your people. Your position will be in danger."

"Most of the people accept Clarke. The few that don't have been dealt with."

Lexa felt a distaste at her own words as she remembered how they had attacked Clarke in the square, the memory of the fear and her heart falling when Clarke had become limp in her arms.

"Titus surely does not accept this."

Lexa raised her head and her eyes flashed with rage.

"Titus is dead. He was a traitor."

Anya raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Titus was _fleimkepa_. He would give his life to protect you."

"I killed him myself," Lexa snapped. "He tried to murder Clarke just because she was _mine_. Do not speak of things you do not _understand_."

Anya spoke quietly but her eyes stayed fiercely locked onto Lexa.

"Besides," Lexa said. "He was wrong in his teachings. The flame is a piece of technology brought down from the first commander from the sky. Our nightblood was created by her medicine. Our teachings were false."

"Did Clarke tell you that? She means to twist your thoughts, to manipulate you, to make you easier to defeat."

 _She has already defeated me_ Lexa mused silently.

"I've seen it myself. Clarke's mother is a healer. She was able to save her by giving her my blood. She can turn people into nightbloods."

Anya just stared at her for a minute.

"You know that this cannot work. She will always choose her people over you."

"Our people," Lexa said her tone softening. "They are my people too and Clarke only cares about peace."

Lexa turned on her heel and tilted her head sideways.

"You are right. She would do anything for her people. As would I. They are no different from us."

Lexa turned again walking in the other direction, her hands behind her back.

"And she is a skilled negotiator. She convinced you to join forces didn't she? I know that you saw her strength when you escaped the mountain. She is much better as a friend than an enemy."

Anya scoffed.

"She's more than your friend. You are to be married."

"We have waited long enough," Lexa stated raising her eyebrows. "I love her and she loves me. I once thought that I could never allow myself happiness, that doing my duty meant being alone. Clarke taught me that true strength lies in embracing my feelings not in hiding from them."

Anya's mouth twitched at the corners.

"I would protect her with my life," Lexa continued in a deeper tone, getting closer to Anya. "As long as you are here and I am the commander you will do her no harm. Understood?"

Anya nodded once and Lexa calmed a little.

"I know you mean well teacher but you do not know her as I do. You may not trust her but I do. _Completely_."

Anya did not say a word as Lexa turned and left the room. She turned back once she reached the door.

"Your room still has your possessions. You are welcome to take some time to rest until you return to your duties. Indra can fill you in on the current situation."

Lexa gave her a sweet, almost vulnerable look that Anya recognised from when she was a child. It was hidden behind a mask of formality but this was how Lexa showed she cared.

"Thank you _heda_."

Lexa gave her a hint of a smile and exited the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skaikru - sky clan  
> Fleimkepa - flamekeeper  
> Heda - Commander  
> Niron - lover / near one  
> Wanheda - Commander of death


	6. Upon My Throne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Clarke and Lexa moments throughout their day in Polis. Mostly fluff and NSFW content. Clarke finds herself feeling very aroused watching Lexa spar with Anya and be a commander and decides to get her revenge on Lexa in the throne room. 
> 
> *It may seem that Clarke is being bossy in the first scene but it's just that she's very comfortable around Lexa being very informal and has a more direct manner of speaking when she is very intimate with someone. She tends to take on more of a caretaker role at this point in the relationship and does this as her way of taking care of people. Lexa by comparison becomes softer and more polite with the people she is most comfortable with and more carefree.

Lexa sighed when she entered their room that night, tired from a long day of travelling and politics. Clarke was waiting for her, sketching in bed as she so often did. She raised her head and smiled, putting the sketches aside. Her eyes widened, a lightness flickering in their blue depths.

"That bad huh?" she teased.

Lexa started to let down her braids and moved over to sit on the bed. She worked them out of her hair, one at a time and felt Clarke's hands taking over the task.

"Thank you," she said with a sigh.

She could practically feel Clarke's eyes boring into the back of her head, wanting to ask about Anya. Lexa turned and met her gaze.

"Can we not talk about it now?" Lexa asked. "I'm very tired."

"Tomorrow then," Clarke replied.

Lexa felt very grateful and leaned onto her lover's shoulder, resting her head there. Clarke pulled her backwards into a lying position, drawing her into her arms so that Lexa was in her embrace.

"You should get undressed," she said after a minute. "You're going to fall asleep like this."

"Maybe I want to," Lexa murmoured with her eyes closed.

"Go on. Take your clothes off."

Lexa grumbled but began to strip until she was free of her clothes and then clamboured in beside Clarke. She wrapped her arm around Clarke's waist and rested her head on her chest. Clarke ran soft hands through her hair, brushing it back from her forehead.

"I wish that I could make her understand this," Lexa said under her breath.

"She'll come around," Clarke said softly. "Give her time. If I can win over Madi, I can win over anyone."

Lexa smiled and nuzzled into her embrace. Clarke's arms came around her back holding her there.

" _Reshop_ Klarke."

" _Reshop_."

Lexa fell fast asleep in her lover's arms, grateful for every second that she had with her and slept peacefully for most of the night.

When she woke, Clarke was fast asleep beneath her. She raised her head from the sky girl's chest and ran her hands through Clarke's hair brushing it back. She drew her fingers down to the side of her nose, tracing the bridge of it and then circling the curve of her lips.

" _Meizen_ ," Lexa whispered.

Her heart felt full as she watched her sleep, not wanting to wake her. She felt so fortunate to have these moments.

At one time she had lost all hope of ever having this sort of intimacy ever again. It had seemed an impossible dream. She placed one kiss on the underside of Clarke's jaw and then another on her cheek.

Clarke stirred as Lexa placed soft kisses on her skin. She smiled, stretched her arms and then opened her eyes, immediately greeted by Lexa's wild brown hair falling onto her chest. Another kiss landed on her neck.

 _Wow. That felt good_ Clarke thought.

Her neck was such a sensitive spot.

"Someone's in a good mood this morning," Clarke teased.

Lexa didn't speak, too busy raining kisses over the side of Clarke's neck. Eventually Lexa moved up to meet her lips and Clarke opened her mouth to allow her inside. Their lips moved together in a deep, hungry kiss as they held onto each other.

Lexa licked over Clarke's lips and into her mouth, releasing a moan as she did and their tongues met. Clarke gripped her neck with one hand but urgently moved her other hand to grip Lexa's right breast. She massaged it with her hand and Lexa's breaths began to quicken.

The kiss quickly turned into something more and Lexa's hands roamed over Clarke's breasts and down her body before pushing onto Clarke's core, rubbing against it several times before reaching her fingers into her.

Clarke's left hand immediately shot down to Lexa's centre and mimicked the action. It was a little rushed but they had both learned that mornings were a time when they were too easily interrupted.

They both caressed and teased each other before sliding their fingers deep inside other and riding them. When they both orgasmed, it was hectic but so very satisfying and they panted in quick breaths afterwards. They stared into each others eyes as they lay next to each other and let their bodies recover.

It wasn't long before a loud knock on the door interrupted their bliss.

"Every morning," Clarke joked referring to the knock.

Lexa smiled but didn't reply still a little unsteady. She got up and moved to find her nightdress. Another knock sounded out as Lexa pulled on her nightdress.

"Enter," she said.

Clarke pulled the covers up higher over herself as the doors opened and Anya strode in.

"You were still in bed?" she questioned. "The sun has been risen for hours."

"We do not get up at dawn unless it's necessary," Lexa told her with a note of annoyance.

Anya's eyes darted towards Clarke who had rolled over onto her side and was already asleep. The covers were falling down and her bare back was exposed. Lexa noticed her gaze on the bed and moved to gently pull the covers up over Clarke, shooting a warning look at Anya. She leaned down and placed a loving kiss onto the side of the blonde's head, giving Clarke's shoulder a gentle touch.

When she turned back to Anya, her mentor's face was a mask but her eyes were filled with curiosity.

"I assume that you wish to train," Lexa said, standing with her arms behind her back.

"You assume correct. Let's see how much of my training you have forgotten."

Lexa smirked with confidence.

"We will see,"she replied.

"I will meet you on the training ground."

Lexa nodded and Anya turned on her heel and exited the room.

 

Clarke arrived at the training ground with Madi and immedately became distracted by Lexa and Anya's sparring.

"Remember to listen to Gaia," she told Madi. "Don't forget to eat your lunch. A warrior needs their strength."

Clarke heard a yell coming from Lexa and the clash of blades meeting as Lexa sparred with Anya. Her gaze immediately wandered towards the two figures.

"Clarke?" Madi asked.

She refocussed and found Madi looking up at her expectantly. Clarke handed her the bag and Madi kissed her on the cheek and then set off running towards her classes.

Clarke turned instantly and her eyes lingered over Lexa spinning around with her dual blades. She was in her tight, black outfit and Clarke's eyes ran down to the length of Lexa's athletic body, taking in the curve of her breasts and hips. Her legs were exquisitely long and toned. Clarke could see the strength in them and the tight grip of Lexa's fingers over the blades.

Clarke watched her with bated breaths, a shudder of desire moving through her body. Lexa was winning but it was a close match. Clarke rarely got to watch Lexa spar. She was usually preoccupied with politics but whenever she did see it, it was thrilling and aroused her more than any sight in the world.

Lexa had been too engrossed in fighting to see Clarke's unabashed staring. As the fight ended with Lexa just winning in one quick move, Lexa turned and caught her eyes.

Clarke's lips felt dry and she licked them. Something primal flashed in Lexa's eyes in response as they held eye contact across the training ground.

 

A few hours later and they were both in a meeting. It was almost lunch time and Lexa had a feast table brought into the hall to keep her guests well fed for the laborious discussions.

Clarke ate plenty during the meeting, not needing to give much in the way of input this time but Lexa seemed to be charged and hadn't touched a morsel as she led the meeting.

Everyone else was seated around the throne room but Lexa was standing, her presence commanding and powerful. Clarke found herself beginning to stare again and felt that familiar drying of her lips as she watched Lexa in her element in full _heda_ mode.

When Lexa rebuked someone for challenging her decisions, she pressed forward and stared him down with a fierce, aggressive stare, daring him to answer her back again.

Clarke's mind started drifting into daydreams almost immediately. Some very sexual scenarios, mostly involving Lexa commanding her and turning that authoritarian tone towards her invaded her thoughts.

"Leave us!"

Clarke snapped out of it, realising that she had zoned out and missed something. When the others left the room and the doors closed, Lexa moved immediately towards the feast table and started gathering some food onto a plate.

She sat down on her throne and started eating quietly, enjoying the moment's rest from her duties. Clarke still stared at her still flush with arousal. Lexa was oblivious to her mood, her thoughts only on her meal.

 _Right_ she thought with determination.

Clarke got up and moved over to the wooden throne. Lexa looked up at her waiting for her to speak but Clarke grabbed her plate and put it on the table. Lexa's eyes flashed in protest, following the food as it moved away from her.

Before she could say anything, Clarke pushed her back in the throne and straddled her. Lexa's eyes snapped to her and Clarke removed her jacket.

Lexa's hands snaked around her lower back and buttocks, her eyes filled with desire. Silently, Clarke raised her top over her head until she was just in her bra. She unhooked it and threw it unashamedly on the floor letting loose her bare breasts. Lexa's jaw dropped, her mouth hanging open.

"Here?" she asked.

"Here."

Clarke surged forward meeting her lips. She pressed Lexa back into the throne and Lexa tilted her head sideways, happily receiving the kiss. She moaned as Clarke grinded down on her, moving her hips slowly against her.

"You've been driving me crazy all day," Clarke whispered in a husky voice, as she pulled back.

Their lips were so close that they brushed together as she spoke, their eyes still closed.

Clarke reconnected their lips before Lexa could reply and continued to move her hips forward, rubbing against Lexa in deliberate sensual movements. Lexa moaned into the kiss in a high pitch moan that seemed at odds with her normally commanding tone.

 _Good_ thought Clarke. _Let her feel out of control now. I've barely been able to keep my hands off her all morning. It's her turn._

Lexa's hands certainly seemed unrestrained now. They moved freely over her body, fondling her breasts, sweeping over her back.

"Pants off," Clarke commanded standing up.

Lexa obeyed and removed them as quickly as possible and Clarke settled back down into her lap. Lexa gripped her waist, running her hands down her ass as she started grinding down onto Lexa slowly. Clarke pushed her body forward, relishing the animal glint in those green eyes that flashed back at her as she moved.

Lexa let out a breath that she'd been holding and she closed her eyes letting the sensations wash over her body as Clarke grinded against her. She moaned and Clarke pushed down sliding herself against Lexa even more slowly.

She repeated the movement, making thrusting circular motions with her hips. Lexa's moans became louder and more erratic. Clarke loved how it echoed through the room. She thrust forward again elliciting even louder moans.

"Klarke," Lexa moaned.

"Does that feel good?" Clarke whispered in a husky tone.

She thrust her hips forward, ellicting another moan.

She knew that Lexa was struggling now, her eyes clamped shut.

" _Nou hod op._ "

Clarke moved in more exaggerated moves and Lexa almost whimpered.

" _Beja_."

Clarke pulled away and Lexa's eyes snapped open at the loss of contact. They were completely fixated on her as she held her gaze. The mix of wonder and hunger in her eyes was thrilling and loving at the same time.

Clarke smirked, raising an eyebrow and dropped to her knees. Lexa held her breath observing her with primal lust. The corners of Clarke's mouth curved into a wicked expression and she ran her fingers up Lexa's legs skimming from her ankles all the way up to her thighs and buttocks. She caught the thin material in her fingertips and dragged it all the way down. Clarke removed them, throwing them to one side.

She skimmed her hands all the way back up Lexa's thighs and gripped them with her fingers. She urged them open as Lexa watched her and then sank her head right inbetween them. Lexa threw her head back and moaned even louder, her moans and whimpers echoing throughout the throne room and into the hallway as Clarke utterly unravelled her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heda - commander  
> Reshop - rest up/goodnight  
> Meizen - Beautiful/amazing  
> Nou hod op - Don't stop.  
> Beja - Please


	7. Ai Skaiprisa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anya tries to get information from Raven about Clarke. Lexa and Clarke receive unsettling news and Lexa is reminded of a painful memory. 
> 
> This chapter is a little sad but ends well so if you don't feel like being sad maybe skip this one. 
> 
> Also I absolutely didn't cry writing the sad parts (I absolutely did).

Anya POV

"What are you doing down here?" Raven snapped raising her head from the keyboard.

She had a small console in her hands that had several wires running from it to Becca's pod. Many symbols that Anya didn't recognise ran across the device's screen.

"Visiting the sacred temple."

Raven scoffed.

"Sacred. Yeah right. I'm kind of busy you so if you don't mind-."

Anya ignored her and continued watching the girl's work. She was completely focussed, her dark hair tied back in a ponytail. Anya noticed the brace on her leg as she had before. She observed the wince Raven made when she accidentally leaned on it too much.

"Were you injured in battle?" Anya asked curiously.

"No. I got shot by an idiot member of the 100."

Anya watched her grim expression curiously.

"Will it heal?"

"Not completely."

Raven put down the console with a annoyed huff.

"Why are you here? What do you want?"

Anya turned and walked towards the wall observing the images of the first commander. Raven watched her in confusion.

"Are you just going to stand there in silence?"

"Lexa told me that the first commander was a sky person and that what we know about the flame is wrong."

"It is. It's a piece of technology. It was designed to destroy the artifical intelligence that ended the world."

Anya grimaced at the word technology. She had been raised to believe in the flame. It was the one thing that she truly believed in, that the spirit of the commander lived on.

"So the former commanders' spirit does not live on in the flame?"

"In a way it does. Their memories and their consciousness exist in the flame after death."

Anya turned and focussed on the brunette.

_She always likes to be right. Maybe she can help me get to the truth if I win her trust._

"Have you known Clarke long?" Raven grinned.

"Ah. That's what you want. I've known her since I landed here. Not that long really."

"Do you trust her?"

Raven became a little more serious now.

"With my life. This is because of Lexa and her right? You're worried."

"She is the enemy. You are all the enemy."

Raven narrowed her eyes and stood up, not fully resting her weight on her leg. Anya noted that she was in much more pain than she let people know.

"Well I don't like you grounders either. Lexa ordered the death of someone I love. But here I am being all forgiving. Get over it."

Anya observed the girl in front of her. There was genuine pain in her heart. She seemed vulnerable suddenly but defiant.

"So Lexa killed your lover. Is that what you and Clarke are here for? Revenge?"

Raven threw up her hands.

"What are you talking about? Revenge? She's here because she loves Lexa and wants to keep her people safe. Besides you're wrong. Lexa didn't kill Finn. Clarke did."

Anya's eyes widened in suspicion.

"Why?"

Raven's eyes steeled over with anger.

_Ah. So she has anger towards Clarke._

"To save him from what your people were going to do to him. What do you have against her anyway? The war is over. We're not enemies anymore. Can't you just be happy for Lexa?"

 _Loyalty_ Anya noted. _She has anger but she is absolutely loyal._

"I have nothing against her but Lexa has many enemies. They would try anything to destroy her. Even pretending to be in love with her."

Raven laughed bitterly.

"Pretending? You didn't walk in on them half naked. You didn't see Clarke pull a gun on her own people to protect Lexa. She even shot Ontari."

Raven stepped forward, right in Anya's face now.

"She saved your precious commanders life in front of everyone. You think this is a game she's playing? All Clarke ever cares about it keeping us all alive."

Anya reeled at her words as she began to understand them. Saved her in front of everyone. The implications of that act would be huge. No wonder even Indra seemed to accept Clarke in Polis. Raven was still right in front of her, standing very close.

"You should train with me."

"What?"

"It will strengthen you. Help you to deal with your injuries."

Raven frowned.

"It's nerve damage. How will it help?"

"It will teach you mental strength. Discipline. You can overcome pain."

Raven turned her head to the side as if thinking over what she was offering.

"I'm already strong."

"I've noticed but pain can wear down even the strongest of minds. I will teach you. Tomorrow morning."

Raven shrugged.

"Okay. Whatever. But I'm not a warrior. I'm not going to be your little warrior in training, second or whatever."

"You are a warrior," said Anya.

_If I can get close to her. Then she will tell me everything. It won't be difficult. She is enjoyable to talk to. She has many layers behind that cockiness. Anya smiled at the thought of uncovering those layers._

Anya felt a stirring of sexual desire at their close proximity. She had had female lovers many times before but now was not the time to get distracted. Raven was small but fierce, squaring up to Anya even though she towered over her. She had to admit that her mix of cockiness and vulnerability intrigued her.

"Hey Raven I came to check on your leg."

 Clarke entered the room and stopped when she saw how close the two were. She couldn't tell if they were about to fight or - She shrugged the thought away. When the women saw her they moved apart.

"It's fine," said Raven.

"I'm sure it is but I promised mom I would check on you. She even sent me instructions for your physio."

"Well what can I say. Your mom loves me."

Raven sat down on a nearby chair at Clarke's request. She drew up her trouser leg and revealed the full brace strapped around her leg. Anya pretended to observe the drawings again but kept her eyes on the pair.

Clarke was very cheerful but all business, removing the brace and examining the leg. While she worked, Anya saw Raven wince a couple of times.

"Sorry. She said I have to do that. I can stop if it's too much."

"It's fine Griff. I'm used to it."

"Where is _heda_?" asked Anya. "Still in the meeting?"

Clarke's eyes never moved from Raven's leg and the exercises but Anya could see her lips curving into a slight smile.

"That finished a while ago. She's - um resting."

"In the middle of the day?" Anya asked, knowing full well that Lexa rarely ever fell asleep at midday.

Clarke shrugged.

"She's had a busy day. She was tired."

Anya could still see that hint of a smirk that made her extra suspicious of Clarke.

"Like that time she was tired after you disappeared for an hour during Monty's birthday party."

Clarke ignored her still smiling to herself.

"Or when Octavia was pissed at you because you didn't meet her, when you almost missed the blockade deadline because you were having sex."

Clarke seemed unfazed by her words but Raven glanced at Anya as if taunting her.

"Or when the Lexa's facepaint was all over your - ow."

Clarke smiled and pulled her hands away.

"All done."

The door suddenly opened and Clarke stood up immediately as a grounder guard entered heading straight for her.

"The commander wishes to speak with you right away."

Clarke nodded and left the room, looking a little concerned. Anya followed her but before she left she turned to Raven.

"The training _will_ help," she said.

Raven didn't say anything but looked confused. Anya could see her faltering. The sky girl was in desperate need of some support. But for Clarke she seemed alone and she was angry, though she masked it.

 

Clarke strode into the room to find Lexa giving orders to some of her people. Anya hovered near to her, clearly wanting to keep track of Clarke's every move.

 _Not that I can blame her for not trusting me_ Clarke thought. _She barely knows me._

One look at Lexa's face told her everything she needed to know.

"Jaha?" she asked.

Lexa nodded. Her eyes were clouded with darkness, showing none of the joy they had shared earlier that day in them.

"He's headed for Arkadia with the army."

"To recruit more followers?"

"And to attack."

Lexa handed her the letter that she had received from Bellamy. Clarke pored over it.

"He's still on the inside but Jaha will figure out that we have a spy there sooner or later."

"Your faith in Bellamy has never been wrong. He will not get caught," said Lexa reassuringly.

"Who is this Jaha?"

Clarke sighed and Lexa watched her movements carefully, knowing that she was frustrated with their lack of progress in stopping the rebellion. Jaha was one of her own. Clarke always felt responsible for the actions of her people even if they had nothing to do with her.

"He used to be our chancellor, our leader in _skaikru_ a long time ago. He has been encouraging people to rebel against Lexa, gathering followers. He's not in charge anymore. Kane is but Jaha thinks that he should be in charge again."

"He is a zealot," Lexa explained. "He has gained many followers. He preaches revolution and peace but encourages violence with his words."

"It's because of me," Clarke said. "He doesn't trust me to be ambassador since he found out about us and when we refused to let him go and seek out the A.I. technology and use it how he wants to, he stopped listening to anything I had to say. Not that he ever listened much before."

Lexa listened to Clarke patiently while Anya just observed them.

"It is not your fault. It is _his_. There will always be people who disagree with our decisions no matter what we do."

Clarke nodded but was full of doubts. Lexa felt a strong desire to encourage her, to ease her doubts. She understood the burden of leadership all too well.

"We will defeat him Clarke."

"I should send word to Arkadia in case he changes direction. The _trikru_ villages should be warned too that he may attack. If he gets hold of any guns it will be a bloodbath."

"Anya?"

"I agree," she stated. "He must not get hold of _skaikru_ weapons. We must find him a way to strike him down."

Lexa turned to her mentor.

"His followers are blindly devoted to him. If we kill him we will make him a martyr. We need to find a way to do this without killing."

Anya gave her a look of skepticism.

"I would murder him in an instant if I thought it would end this Anya. You have not seen the hold he has over them."

Clarke nodded.

"Lexa's right. If we kill him he becomes a martyr and his cause lives on. We need to discredit him, we need to-"

Clarke's eyes widened in an expression that Lexa recognised. She had an idea.

"What's your plan?"

"Undermine him from within, like I did with Pike. They follow him because they believe that we are corrupt. If they believe him corrupt they will turn on him."

"How?"

"We put more spies there and start rumours that he is lying to them, that he isn't sharing the food or planning to help them once he removes you but he will keep it for himself. We can send people to steal the food supplies."

Lexa raised her head understanding her plan fully now.

"People get angry and irrational when they are hungry. They turn on each other."

"Exactly. Arkadia was never more unsettled than when we were low on rations. People will not stay long with a leader that doesn't feed them without good explanation." Lexa nodded in agreement.

"It is a good plan. You have some people in mind to assist this plan?"

"Yes," said Clarke. "I will need to go to Arkadia right away."

Now Lexa wore a worried expression but she knew that her protectiveness could not interfere with Clarke's need to protect her people. Too much was at stake if they failed.

"I will not stay long," Clarke told her, noticing her concern.

"My best warrior will go with you," Lexa stated.

Clarke met Lexa's eyes and saw that this wasn't up for discussion. There was a warm concern in her eyes. Clarke blinked in agreement. She knew what Lexa was doing. She would ask Anya. She wanted Anya to see that she could be trusted but she also trusted Anya to follow her orders and not betray her.

"I'll go and make preparations," Clarke said glancing down at the ground.

"We'll talk more later," Lexa replied, her tone much softer now.

Clarke kissed Lexa on the cheek.

"Later," she replied, before pulling back.

She turned and left the room leaving Lexa and Anya alone.

"I want you to escort Clarke."

Lexa turned and her gaze fell upon Anya. She seemed almost scared. Anya had rarely ever seen her afraid of anything.

"Do you _understand_ what I am asking of you?"

Anya nodded.

"I do."

Lexa still seemed uneasy.

"You do not want her to go."

Lexa blinked and stared off into the distance.

"Jaha's followers have attacked her before. They almost killed her. We did not know of his involvement then but she was -"

"I cannot let Clarke end up like Costia," she said quietly. "I _need_ her."

Anya was taken aback by this clear admission of vulnerability from her second. Lexa had never needed anyone. She was the strongest, most disciplined warrior that Anya had ever seen. It had given her pride how successful Lexa was in her training but much of that was due to Lexa's own spirit.

"Why? Because of those noises she draws from you? I walked past your throne room today. You might want to be quieter. I could hear you all the way down the hall."

A flicker of embarrassment crossed Lexa's face. She ignored the question.

"You don't have to trust her but trust me."

"You are _heda_. I will do as you command and protect her. I won't promise anything more."

"That's all I ask," Lexa replied in a low tone.

 

Nine Months Earlier

_She cannot die. She cannot die._

"Lexa!" Abby shook her. "You should rest. There's nothing more you can do. All we can do is wait."

Lexa felt as though her heart had been ripped from her chest. She had been too slow to stop them from hurting Clarke. She had carried her limp body to safety, shielding her from the crowd. Clarke had not woken in hours. Her blood covered Lexa's hands and face. Her mother had worked tirelessly to fix the wounds. Black blood dripped from Lexa's left arm where someone had tried to swipe at Clarke again with a knife. Abby bandaged it while Lexa stayed at Clarke's bedside.

_It is my fault again. Just like with Costia._

_It's my fault for believing that I could have this happiness._

_I am heda. Love is weakness._

The words were hollow in her mind. She could not believe that anymore but she would have traded every moment of her happiness to save Clarke.

Days went by and Clarke worsened. Lexa did not sleep. Abby did not sleep and hope began to fade away.

Lexa cried at Clarke's bedside, sobbing uncontrollably and Abby put her arms around her.

She fell asleep at Clarke's bedside, unable to move from her and Abby rushed in suddenly.

"Your blood," she said with fierce determination. "I need your blood."

The treatment worked quicker than expected and Clarke's recovery was swift.

When Clarke woke, she remembered nothing after the attack and Lexa could only run her hands through her hair and cup her face and kiss her softly, gripping onto her as if she could slip from her grasp at any moment.

The attack was a shock for Lexa. It reminded her of all her worse fears about Costia but when she tried to push Clarke away to keep her safe Clarke would not let her. Abby found her after they had argued, sitting on her couch. She had sat down next to her with a knowing look.

"This isn't your fault Lexa," Abby had told her. "It's _their_ fault. Clarke would never be happy in Arkadia without you."

Abby's reassuring manner was so starkly similar to Clarke's that Lexa couldn't help but talk to her.

"She would be alive."

"Danger can happen anywhere at any time. You cannot live in fear. Besides you know that Clarke is too stubborn to ever agree. You both deserve happiness and we both know that you won't let this happen _ever_ again."

Lexa had stared at her silently, knowing that she was right. In her heart since that day Lexa had had a determination, that she would never allow any harm to come to Clarke ever again.

 

"What did Anya say?" asked Clarke.

Lexa glanced at her. She was sitting on her chair just across from the couch. This was their spot, the place where Clarke had first drawn Lexa as she slept. They used this spot for privacy and to relax.

Usually Lexa would read and Clarke would draw. Sometimes Madi would run in and jump up beside Lexa asking her questions about her book. Lexa would patiently answer each of them while Clarke secretly smiled at them interacting so sweetly.

Lexa and Clarke's eyes would meet as Madi talked and they both knew what the other was thinking.

 _Love_. _  
_

Clarke noticed her grim manner and got up immediately. Lexa sat down on the couch and Clarke moved to sit next to her. Lexa just threw her arms around Clarke and gripped her tightly and buried her head in Clarke's chest.

"Is this about-?"

Lexa nodded, her eyes still closed.

"That was nine months ago. You don't need to worry about me."

Lexa raised her head meeting her eyes.

"Anya will go with you. I know that you do not trust each other but she will protect you."

"I trust _you._ Anya and I will be okay. I will return soon."

They embraced and just held each other for a moment. Lexa felt Clarke brush her hair back from her neck.

"I sorry," Lexa whispered. "You are capable of defending yourself. I have no right to be possessive."

Clarke cupped her face in her hands.

"It's okay. I _know_ ," she said. "You've done nothing wrong."

Clarke leaned in and kissed her. It was a slow, tender kiss that reminded Lexa of their first one, except for the fact that Clarke was kissing her.

When they parted, Clarke rested her head on Lexa's shoulder submissively and let Lexa's arms come around her and hold her.

Lexa's chin rested on the top of Clarke's head and they both closed their eyes.

" _Ai skaiprisa_ ," Lexa murmoured.

Clarke felt herself relax in the embrace knowing how lucky she was to have this woman's love. Lexa loved selflessly. She put Clarke before herself. It made Clarke determined each day to do the same for Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heda - commander  
> Skaikru - sky people  
> Trikru - tree clan  
> Ai skaiprisa - My sky princess


	8. Drunk on Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anya and Clarke travel to Polis and a flashback reveals the effect of Monty's moonshine on Clarke and Lexa and also a proposal. Consensual drunk sex scene.
> 
> *Anya may seem like she is being harsh but she just likes to test people and see what their response is. It's how she weighs people up.
> 
> Disclaimer: Please drink responsibly.
> 
> I'm British. I rarely drink alcohol anymore but trust me that I know the awfulness that is binge drinking. It's practically the British national sport. Don't be like us.

Clarke and Anya rode towards Arkadia. It was hotter than usual. Clarke took several sips of her canteen, Anya's watchful gaze on her every move.

"When did she tell you about Costia?" Anya asked suddenly.

Clarke gave her a sideways glance. She had expected either anger or absolute silence for most of the journey.

"Not long after we met. It was at a ceremony for the villagers that one of our people killed "

 _Finn's funeral too_ she thought sadly.

"The boy you loved that you murdered?"

Clarke flinched and turned her head sharply, ready to defend herself but she kept quiet. She was really trying not to argue with Anya for Lexa's sake but her patience was wearing thin.

"Why?"

"Why what?" Clarke asked impatiently.

"Why did she tell you about her? She never tells anyone. She hasn't mentioned her name once since she was killed by Nia."

Clarke grimaced. This was going to be a long uncomfortable ride.

 _Silence would have been preferable_ she thought.

"I don't know," she replied. "To help me through the pain. To tell me 'love is weakness'."

Anya stared at her now.

"Titus' words," she said quietly.

"Yes. No don't tell me. You believe it too."

"Not quite," Anya said with a smirk. "But trust is hard earned and love and lust can make fools of us all."

Clarke couldn't find a reason to disagree. It was a solid lesson but the reminder of Titus and him basically teaching Lexa that she should be alone forever, unsettled her.

"Not always," Clarke replied. "Sometimes it makes us stronger. We all have needs."

"Will your people celebrate your return?" Anya asked, quickly changing the subject.

Clarke scoffed.

"Celebrate? I don't know about that."

"Lexa said that you are a hero to your people. You slayed the mountain. You killed Ontari and saved your commander. When a hero returns to our people we celebrate them."

Clarke sighed.

"My people are - complicated. Not everyone agrees with the things that I've done."

"Lexa speaks very highly of your accomplishments and Raven fiercely defends you. Someone who inspires such true loyalty should at least be recognised for their accomplishments."

Clarke blinked rapidly, almost shyly. She hadn't been expecting praise. Anya noticed her confusion and raised her eyebrows.

"What? Recognising your accomplishments is not the same as not trusting you. I am only interested in protecting Lexa."

Anya's horse pushed forward in rebellion but the grounder leader seemed unaffected and maintained control over the animal. She seemed completely at home in the saddle.

"So am I," Clarke replied thinking about just how much she was going to miss Lexa in the next few days. She was already missing her.

 _It's ridiculous_ she thought. _I just saw her before we left._

Clarke distracted herself with pleasant memories of Lexa. Braiding her hair, tracing the lines of her tattoo, planting kisses on her neck before she got out of bed in the morning. The thoughts made her smile, easing her worries for a little while.

"Is there anything I need to know before we arrive?"

"We haven't told anyone that we are going to be bonded yet so I would appreciate it if you kept that quiet. Lexa and I wanted to tell everyone when the moment was right."

Anya shrugged.

"Sometimes the moment is never right but I won't say anything about the bonding ceremony."

"Also don't drink any of Monty's moonshine if he offers you some. His last batch was um very strong."

Anya smirked.

"Is that your excuse for disappearing with Lexa at his birthday?"

"Raven," Clarke muttered shaking her head. "She likes to tease people."

"She's certainly unique," Anya replied.

Clarke turned back to Anya but her face was a mask now, her eyes betraying nothing.

"Tell me Clarke. Are there more like her at Arkadia?"

Clarke shook her head in a slight disbelief at what she was asking her.

"Like Raven. No."

"Shame," Anya replied.

Anya urged her horse forward and away from Clarke probably to make Clarke speed up her pace. She was much better at horse riding now but still not as used to it as the grounders and Anya was not as patient with Clarke's slower pace as Lexa was.

 

A few months before.

"Come on Clarke. It's a new batch. I need someone to try it out."

Clarke was in Arkadia for Monty's birthday party and Lexa had decided to join her. Clarke's mother had offered to watch Madi for the night, happy to spend time with her new granddaughter. It had been a fairly uneventful night so far, her and Lexa choosing to remain fairly formal to keep up public appearances.

"I've had enough. I'm feeling pretty tipsy already? What did you even put in it?"

Monty just gave her his innocent 'who me' look and she shook her head.

"Don't give too much to the grounders. They've had less contact with alcohol than we have. It's not part of their culture. And certainly don't give any to Lexa. Her body might not be used to it."

Monty appeared really guilty now. He shrugged.

"I might have already-"

Clarke understood what he was saying right away and glanced over at Lexa who was giving a death glare to Niylah. She was in her usual commander outfit and wearing the sacred symbol on her forehead. To her this was a formal event. They had stayed close for most of the evening and had only separated for the last twenty minutes while Clarke went to say happy birthday to Monty.

"Did you tell her what it would do to her?" Clarke demanded, raising her hands.

She knew that her voice was getting a little high pitched with the stress of the situation.

"Not exactly."

"Monty!"

Clarke rushed towards Lexa in a panic, only to see her stumble into a table and frown. Lexa tried to steady herself and appear as if she was fine but she was clearly confused.

_He doesn't think. She will think she was poisoned by her enemes. It could have started an incident._

For Lexa embarrassment wasn't just something to get teased about with her friends, it would undermine her reputation as commander and Lexa would be furious in the morning.

_He will be lucky if she doesn't murder him._

Clarke caught Lexa's arm and steadied her, checking around to see if anyone had noticed Lexa's tipsiness.

"Clarke," she said with a note of concern in her voice. "I believe that I have been poisoned. Someone inside _skaikru_ has betrayed me. They must be dealt with."

Clarke still felt a little drunk herself but tried to focus only on helping Lexa.

"Lexa. You're fine. Monty gave you alcohol and you are just not used to it. You're just a little drunk."

Lexa's green eyes settled on hers as Clarke held her arm.

"How dare he? I should reprimand him for his disobedience."

Lexa lunged towards Monty but Clarke grabbed her back. She stood in front of Lexa and cupped her face.

"We'll deal with him tomorrow. We need to get you out of sight before anyone sees you like this."

Lexa cupped her face, appearing awestruck. Clarke searched her gaze not quite understanding until Lexa started raining kisses on her jaw.

" _Meizen_ ," she whispered. _"Yu ai meizen niron_."

Clarke almost blushed at the sudden public display of affection. She led Lexa towards the door but Lexa pulled back, suddenly free from her grasp and spun around.

She strode towards Monty and grabbed his moonshine with a very serious expression on her face. He said nothing but Lexa turned and walked towards Clarke with a smile. She linked arms with Clarke.

"It's for you," Lexa said her tone deepening. "I do not want you to think that you are taking advantage of me in my weakened state."

Clarke took the moonshine and lifted it to her lips, swallowing several mouthfuls quickly. She handed it back to Lexa and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Lexa took another mouthful and then they shared the drink as they headed out of the room and away from prying eyes.

 

Some while later they staggered into an empty workroom on the ark. They were surrounded by computer parts and were kissing madly against a wall, both leaning sideways against it. Clarke tried to shift her position but stumbled and fell backwards toward the floor. Lexa caught her, stopping Clarke's fall but she stumbled too and they both fell backwards in a tumble, Clarke gripping onto Lexa's jacket.

Lexa pushed forward, her body on top of Clarke's as they kissed on the floor not separating for even a moment. Clarke was flat on her back as Lexa's hands roamed over her hips and Clarke's hands crept deep into Lexa's jacket and under her clothes , tracing over the bare skin they found. They were both very drunk but they didn't care. This wasn't a one night stand. They weren't strangers. They were already lovers and they were both far gone, lost in the sensations of each other.

"You - are - beautiful," Lexa told her inbetween kisses. "Your eyes are so blue like _skai o lanik-de._ "

"I love your eyes," Clarke murmoured back. "And this jawline and those adorable lips. I can't get enough of you _ai niron. Ai houmon._ "

Lexa pulled back for a second unsure that she had heard correctly.

"Did you just say-?"

"I'm drunk. I don't know what I'm saying. We said it wasn't time for that yet. Ignore me."

Clarke put her hand around Lexa's neck and pulled her back down and Lexa threw herself back into kissing Clarke, her head and her body leaning to one side. Lexa's hand reached for Clarke's and their fingers entwined.

"Where in the h-? Oh."

Lexa turned and Clarke blinked, raising up off the floor just enough to see who it was. It was Bellamy and Raven. Bellamy was trying to hide a slightly embarrassed smile while Raven wore a devious grin.

"You've been missing for over an hour. People were wondering where you were," Bellamy explained.

Lexa staggered to her feet and helped Clarke up rather awkwardly. Clarke rushed forward in her drunkeness and hugged Bellamy and Raven both, dragging them into a group hug.

"My friends!" she exclaimed. "I love my friends. They're awesome."

"Geez, how much have you had to drink Griff?" Raven asked, when Clarke let them go.

Lexa pointed to the empty bottle of moonshine. She was trying to appear formal but desperately failing.

"The one you call Monty lied about the drink. Clarke escorted me from the party before it became clear to my people that I was not myself."

Clarke threw her arms around Lexa and nuzzled into her neck.

"And then you drank the whole bottle and starting making out in my workshop?" Raven teased.

"Yes," Clarke said, raising her head from Lexa's shoulder.

Lexa shook her head and then walked up towards Bellamy and stared him down intensely.

"She cares about you. She values your opinion," she said in a flat voice.

Lexa stared at him with a slight sneer.

"But if you ever try to become intimate with her, I will send someone to murder you."

She glanced at Raven and her eyes scanned her from head to toe the alcohol still confusing her.

"You too."

Raven laughed.

"Got it commander."

Lexa stared at Bellamy who seemed equally amused.

"Got it," he replied, with a knowing smile.

"She gets a little jealous sometimes," Clarke said moving closer to her and running her hand down Lexa's arm over her tattoos. "It's adorable."

Bellamy rolled his eyes but he was still smiling.

"If you say so Clarke."

Lexa turned around with the broadest grin and surged forward to continue kissing Clarke. Clarke responded with equal enthusiasm, almost forgetting the others were there.

"I think they want to be left alone. Sock on the door?" Raven joked.

"Just go," Clarke groaned as Lexa trailed kisses along her mouth. "We're busy."

Clarke raised her head and gave Raven a wicked smirk as Lexa continued her kisses.

"We're having fun," she said gesturing with an eyebrow raise.

Bellamy and Raven left and the door closed. When the door opened again and Raven peeked in, Clarke and Lexa were already beginning to undress.

"I've put a sign on the door to keep people out. I had no spare sock."

Clarke and Lexa ignored her completely still lost in each other.

"I'll er lock the door. You can open it from the inside."

Clarke threw Lexa's jacket towards Raven as a sign for her to get out and Raven closed the door behind her with a grin.

"I thought they'd never leave," Clarke groaned.

Lexa pulled back for a second.

"I was serious. If that boy ever tries anything, I will kill him."

Clarke smiled at her seriousness. It shouldn't have been funny but it was. Lexa could be so tough but so insecure sometimes too. She cupped Lexa's face with her hands.

"I only want _you_. Forever."

Lexa's eyes widened and she looked utterly vulnerable but then her expression turned positively primal and she smirked and launched herself at Clarke and pushed her down onto the floor on her back.

"You always take charge Clarke," she murmoured, sitting straddled on Clarke's body. "I'm taking charge this time."

Clarke nodded and pulled her top over her head, a deep hunger flashing in her eyes. Lexa stretched out her long athletic body over her, running her hands up to the fabric restraining Clarke's breasts. She wrapped her hands around her back and unclasped the fastenings.

"You're getting good at removing that."

"I try to be good at everything," Lexa boasted.

Her hands moved down and grabbed Clarke's remaining clothing. She didn't bother trying to remove it gracefully but ripped the fabric, tearing it down the middle with her strong feminine hands.

Clarke seemed a little surprised but when Lexa ripped her own binding from her body, tearing the material as if it was nothing, Clarke couldn't care less about her destroyed underwear any more.

Lexa leaned down so that her lips were just an inch away from Clarke's. She rested her hands on the floor on either side of the blonde, her pelvis leaning on Clarke's, her knees bent forward.

"You have no idea how many times I thought of doing this to you when we first met. In my tent. Right in front of everyone in meetings..."

Clarke gasped watching the woman above her. Lexa's green eyes devoured her with their intensity.

"I wanted to do this to you on my war table. On the feast table. Every time I saw you I became consumed with thoughts of desire."

Lexa kissed her neck and Clarke groaned.

"And then you backed me into a table and I thought of _you_ taking _me_. I wanted to give all my power up to you. I wanted to give you my body to do with as you please."

"Oh Lex," Clarke moaned as Lexa ran her hands up and down her body.

"I wanted to _beg_ you to take me."

"Mmmm," Clarke replied, unable to form whole sentences any more since Lexa's hands starting touching her in all the right places.

"I had thought of it before when you saved me from the _Pauna_. You tended my wound. It terrified me how much I desired you."

Clarke was silent now save for slow, heavy pants as Lexa's fingers played with her.

"I tried to push the thoughts away but you were so close to me. In meetings. In my tent. In the woods in the dark. Standing there in front of me looking so enticing, with that hair and those eyes and those lips..."

Clarke moaned out loud as Lexa pushed inside her with her fingertips, curving them slowly.

"Just standing there as if you weren't even aware that you were the most beautiful woman that I had ever seen."

Clarke turned her head to the side, her eyes closed, her fists clenching as if to grip something. Lexa took one of her hands in her own free hand and held it, giving Clarke something strong to grip and squeeze as she pushed in deeper, keeping her pace teasingly slow.

"I love you. I would happily call you my _houmon_. You have no idea what you do to me."

Clarke pulled her head back, her eyes still closed as Lexa examined her face with rapture.

_So beautiful like this. I'm doing this to her._

"What you've always done to me..."

Clarke reached her climax and Lexa felt her whole body shudder beneath her. When she withdrew Clarke lay very still, her body hot and damp with small beads of sweat. Lexa leaned down to press one kiss to her lips, savouring the taste of her.

Clarke was relaxed now, her eyes still closed and Lexa just hovered above her, feeling an immense sense of gratitude. She leaned down on Clarke's chest finally and then Clarke snapped her eyes open. She had been close to falling asleep, the alcohol lessening her usual stamina.

"What? We aren't stopping. What about you?"

"You're tired."

Clarke opened her eyes fully now. She rolled Lexa over so that their positions were reversed.

"Not _that_ tired," she said with a smile.

Lexa could not have described the ecstasy, Clarke drew from her as she worked to satisfy her as fully as possible over the next few moments. Lexa didn't know how Clarke had kept going, being as tired as she clearly was. When the final orgasm hit her she felt extremely tired too suddenly.

Clarke was equally exhausted and almost fell asleep right on top of her. Clarke moved off her body and Lexa rolled onto her side. The hard floor should have been uncomfortable but at that moment nothing felt more comfortable.

Clarke got up for a second and Lexa wondered what she was doing. Then she came back with Lexa's jacket and threw it over them but mostly over Lexa. Clarke drew her arm around Lexa's waist and closed the distance between them until their bodies pressed together. Lexa fell asleep almost immediately after that and Clarke didn't last much longer either.

 _"Ai houmon_ ," Clarke muttered peacefully.

 

The next morning they woke feeling far less comfortable. The floor was hard and cold and they were both extremely hung over. Neither of them spoke much as they dressed. When Raven came to unlock the door, telling them rather loudly to get their clothes back on and covering her eyes with her hands, neither Clarke or Lexa were in the mood for conversation.

The ridicule they got later was worse. Word had gotten around some of the 100 about the moonshine and a few people joked that they'd heard rather loud noises coming from Raven's workshop when they had passed. Lexa and Clarke both said very little, still very embarrassed, remembering their drunken behaviour.

"Should I kill him?" Lexa said dryly, when Monty left the meal table and they were finally alone.

He had been teasing them both mercilessly about their drinking and how much they had enjoyed the moonshine.

"Go ahead," Clarke replied, trying to block out the loudness and brightness of everything around her. "He deserves it."

"I have never felt so hungry in all my life," Lexa said in a deep voice.

She ate her meal quickly, pushing large forkfuls into her mouth and closing her eyes at the incredible satisfaction of the taste.

"Alcohol. Galanin levels," Clarke said with her hand on her head and her eyes closed. "Makes you crave greasy food. That's normal."

"Did you want to do it soon?" Lexa asked softly.

"What?"

"The bonding ceremony."

Clarke snapped her eyes open. She had called her _houmon_ last night but she hadn't been sure Lexa would even fully remember.

"I know that we talked about it before but are you sure it's the right time?"

"Sometimes the time is never right," Lexa said in a quiet voice. "If you are not ready Clarke, it is okay-"

Clarke stopped her knowing where this was going.

"I am ready. I want this. I just don't want to do anything if you think that your people aren't ready. There's still a rebellion."

"After we end it then," Lexa said in the sweetest tone.

Lexa was watching her lovingly now, both of then gazing into each other's eyes with tenderness and longing.

"So we are engaged then."

"I guess so if that's what it means to be soon bonded in your culture."

"I'm your fiancée. We would be called fiancée's in -" Clarke faltered for a moment at the reality of what she was saying. "We're fiancée's who are engaged to be married."

Lexa groaned.

"You have so many words in your culture. So needlessly complicated."

"If we marry, I would be called your wife."

Lexa's eyes met hers again. There was curiosity in them.

"I like that word."

"I like _houmon_."

"I noticed last night. You were muttering it in your sleep still when I woke up."

Clarke blinked twice rapidly and Lexa smiled warmly. She placed her hand over Clarke's.

"After the rebellion," she said.

Clarke nodded and decided that she should at least try and eat something. They sat quietly until they finished their food.

 

That night they were back in Clarke's room getting undressed for bed when Clarke  spoke.

"You know, technically you've already got down one one knee, well on your knees and made a vow. In my culture we're practically married already just not officially."

"Why do your people get down on one knee?" Lexa asked.

"It was traditionally just men who got down on one knee to propose to women. Nobody can really agree on why. The man would give the woman a ring and it would be worn on their left hand. Our people haven't followed that traditions for generations. People just write vows and exchange them now, kinda like swearing fealty."

Lexa seemed very puzzled now.

"Why just men and women?"

"Er - society didn't always accept the idea of women marrying other women. At one time a man being with women was seen as the norm and everything else was seen as wrong."

Lexa scoffed loudly.

"Absurd."

"I agree."

Clarke watched her with a smile.

"I'm not even sexually attracted to men. It seems ridicuously unfair."

Clarke laughed.

"I agree. Luckily our people outgrew those outdated concepts."

"When you are my wife, if anyone dares to even suggest that I should be married to a man it will not end well for them."

Clarke shook her head laughing.

"I believe you. Hey Lexa."

Lexa raised her head and Clarke moved forward. She took Lexa's hands in hers and dropped to one knee gazing up at her.

"Will you be my wife?"

Lexa's bottom lip faltered and she looked so moved by the gesture that she might cry.

"Yes," she whispered back.

Clarke stood up and they kept their hands together.

"Now it's official," said Clarke.

She placed a kiss on Lexa's cheek and wondered briefly if a wedding ring would not be too impractical.

 _Maybe a different gift_ she thought. _Something more personal to us._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Houmon - Wife/Husband/Spouse  
> Skaikru - Sky people/clan  
> Meizen - beautiful/amazing  
> Yu ai meizen niron - You are my beautiful lover/near one  
> Skai o lanik-de - The sky or the sea  
> Ai niron - My lover  
> Ai houmon - My wife/husband/spouse  
> Pauna - The giant gorilla


	9. Ai Seingeda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke returns to Arkadia. Madi misses Clarke and starts acting out and Lexa reconsiders how Madi fits into their lives.

When Clarke reached Arkadia she felt almost nervous entering again. The last time she was there she and Lexa had gotten drunk and engaged and only Anya knew about it. With all that was happening with Jaha she doubted it was the right time to share the news but she would have to tell her mom at least.

Her mother was the first person to greet her. Clarke dismounted her horse and threw her arms around her. When they separated, her mother was eyeing Anya warily who stood besides her like a phantom.

"Who is this?" Abby asked.

"I'll explain when we're inside. We have a lot to talk about."

"No Madi?"

Clarke shook her head.

"No sorry. We couldn't risk it."

Abby nodded but Clarke could see the disappointment in her eyes.

Once inside Arkadia, Clarke laid out the entire plan for Kane and Abby. Anya stayed behind Clarke silently, just observing the whole exchange.

"Bellamy is already inside. We need more. Are Octavia and Lincoln still here?" Clarke told them.

"Yes," said Kane.

"Lincoln left with Luna to return to _floukru_ a few months ago."

Clarke frowned.

_There was that idea gone. Lincoln would have been an ideal infiltrator._

"Octavia can go undercover but we need a grounder on the inside too. Most of his followers are ground-"

"Traitors," Anya interrupted quickly.

Abby pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow clearly not trusting this new person.

"Rebels," Clarke continued. "They will listen to a grounder more."

"Niylah has proved herself trustworthy. We could ask Niylah," Kane suggested.

Clarke stopped, feeling conflicted. Though she wasn't with Niylah she sometimes still felt protective of her. She didn't want anything bad to happen to her. She had never been anything but kind.

"Clarke. Just because something happened between you two it doesn't mean that you should let it affect your judgment."

Clarke glowered at her mother's warning, knowing that there was no way that Anya wouldn't talk to her about it later.

"Okay Octavia and Niylah. What about Murphy and Emori too? They would be perfect for this."

Kane scratched his beard with his hand.

"Sounds like a plan," he said. "We should have some of our people on the outside in case they need a distraction."

"Agreed."

"Are you going in too?" Abby asked with concern.

Clarke shook her head.

"No. If I'm captured Jaha could use me as leverage against Lexa and I won't put her in that position. I'm just here to set the plan up. We should send them in with radios."

"I'll arrange it," said Kane. "Sure. Actually Kane, could you give us a minute?"

Kane frowned at her, his eyes narrowing.

"It's personal," she said quickly. "Anya has to stay. She's my guard."

Anya rolled her eyes in disapproval at being called 'her guard'.

"Sure Clarke. I'll go and speak to the others."

Kane left and once the door closed, Clarke drew in a deep breath.

"So... I have something to tell you."

Her mother became defensive immediately as if expecting the worst.

"Has something happened to Madi? Lexa?"

"No. I - er we're getting married."

Her mother said nothing for a second but then a surprised smile crept across her face.

"Congratulations," she said, putting her arms around her daughter.

"You're okay with this?" Clarke asked pulling away.

"Of course. Why would you think that I wouldn't be?"

Clarke felt a great sense of relief.

"I don't know. I just thought you might-. I don't know."

Her mother smiled knowingly.

"Clarke. I know how much she loves you. I've seen it. You didn't see how she was when you were injured."

Clarke knew very little of what happened between Lexa and her mother while she was unconscious and dying. She only knew that ever since then the two seemed to get along much better.

"When are you getting married?" her mother asked.

"Soon. After Jaha is dealt with. We'll send you all invites."

Her mother was beaming now. A second later her expression changed and she glanced at Anya warily.

"I'm sorry for my people shooting you," said Abby. "I was in charge. We thought you were an enemy."

"Who says I'm not?" Anya replied coldly.

That familiar worried expression appeared on Abby's face as she turned to Clarke sharply.

"She's kidding," said Clarke. "Speaking of that. Can we arrange for Anya to have the room next to mine? I promised Lexa that I wouldn't go anywhere without her."

Her mother nodded. "I'll arrange it. You should both get some food and some rest. The radio is still setup in your room."

Clarke sighed and headed for the door, Anya following her.

"Oh and Clarke. Monty has a new batch of moonshine. I trust that you'll stay away from the alcohol this time. You and Lexa must've had terrible hangovers in the morning."

Clarke turned her head away with a blush and left the room. Once she was back in her own room, she began to unpack a few things. Anya hovered in the doorway eyeing the room.

"Your people's lighting is horrible."

Clarke tried to hide a smile.

"Don't tell me. You prefer candles like Lexa does."

Anya shrugged.

"It's better than this."

"You can sit on the bed. It could be a while before we can get you your room and dinner isn't for a few hours."

Anya sailed over to the edge of the bed and sat down far away from Clarke. Clarke pulled the radio up on the bed and adjusted it. Raven had built it custom for her and Lexa.

"What are you doing?"

"We can communicate over distances with this device. I'm contacting Lexa."

Anya frowned in confusion but watched her hold the square black device up to her mouth.

"Lexa?"

There was a pause and then a reply.

"Clarke? You have arrived."

Clarke sighed with relief at the sound of her voice.

"Yes. How's Madi?"

"Fine. She's unhappy that she couldn't go with you but she's okay. Who did you choose to send?"

Clarke took in a breath knowing that at least one name might annoy Lexa.

"Murphy, Emori, Octavia and Niylah."

There was a pause.

_There's the jealousy. She'll pretend it's fine._

"Good. We will soon end this rebellion."

Clarke smiled to herself. She knew that Lexa was already imagining negative scenarios of Niylah and Clarke together.

"Niylah's in the past. I wouldn't do that to you."

There was a click and another pause.

"I know. Is Anya with you?"

 _Smart_. Clarke thought. _She's testing me to check that I haven't ditched her._

"She's right here. Speak into this Anya."

Anya looked incredibly confused but obeyed.

"I have not left her side," she said, still uneasy with using the unfamiliar technology.

"Thank you. I know that you will keep her safe though she can take care of herself."

" _Heda_. Could you tell me? What is this moonshine they speak of here?"

Clarke snatched the device away immediately with embarrassment.

"Maybe Anya should give us a minute alone," Clarke said.

Anya was smirking very satisfied with her tease.

"Agreed," Lexa replied with a note of annoyance in her tone.

"Anya."

Anya got up and left the room but stood in the hallway still wearing the smirk. Clarke stood up and closed the door on her to give them at least some privacy.

"Hey," Clarke said, lifting the device up again. "I didn't tell her, my mom did."

"Abby knows about that?"

"Everyone knows. I don't think that we are ever living that one down."

Clarke waited for each response wishing so much that Lexa was there with her. The last time she was in her room in Arkadia she had been with Lexa.

"It was worth it," Lexa said, breaking the silence.

Clarke smiled.

"You weren't saying that in the morning."

"You proposed to me that day so it turned out well."

Clarke glanced wistfully to the spot where she dropped to her knees in front of Lexa.

"I told my mom about the wedding. She was very pleased."

"I told you that she would be. You needn't have worried."

"You really like to be right don't you?"

She could practically sense Lexa smiling at the other end of the radio call.

"Doesn't everyone?"

 _"Ai niron_ needs to learn some humility," Clarke replied playfully.

"And just how will you teach me this humility?"

"I can think of a few ways, one of them involving your war table and war paint."

Clarke sincerely hoped that no one else was on this channel. Raven had said that it would be completely private but she didn't quite trust Raven not to eavesdrop.

"Warpaint for you or for me?" Lexa sounded fairly curious now.

"Both of us. I'm sure we can get creative."

"What strategy do you have in mind?"

"You'll have to wait and see," Clarke said in a low, teasing voice.

There was a long pause. Lexa didn't respond clearly thinking over the possibilities.

"I would love to have a longer conversation about this," Clarke said suddenly. "But Anya is still waiting outside. I better go."

"See you soon."

Clarke smiled, realising that Lexa was beginning to pick up more sky crew expressions as time passed. She wondered if Lexa even noticed that it was creeping into her speech.

"You too _ai niron_. I love you."

"I love you too ai _skaiprisa_ "

Clarke ended the call and opened the door to find Anya still standing right there.

" _Skaiprisa_?" she asked with a smirk.

"How did you hear that through a _metal_ _door_?"

Anya said nothing but was trying to suppress a grin.

"Come inside," Clarke said with a sigh.

Anya sat down again and Clarke tried to ignore her eyes boring into the back of her head.

"So what are you planning to do with the warpaint?"

Clarke closed her eyes and groaned.

 

Lexa ended the call with a dozen indecent images of Clarke running through her mind. She was barely even able to sit on her own throne now without replaying the images of Clarke straddling her and kneeling and-

When Aden knocked and entered her room, she blocked out the thoughts becoming the commander immediately.

"Aden," she said in greeting.

 _He is becoming tall_ she thought. _Soon he would tower over Lexa herself._

" _Heda_. I thought that you might wish to know that Madi pushed Jon into the lake and they got into a fight. She seems unsettled again."

Lexa sighed. Every time that Clarke was away, Madi seemed to become restless. The girl seemed to listen to no one but Clarke when she was like this.

"Thank you Aden. I will deal with it right away."

"Of course _heda_ ," he said bowing his head. "A good commander knows when to intervene personally."

The corners of her mouth tugged up into a smile. Aden was her best student. She was deeply proud of his progress. Though they always had to stay formal in conversations so that Lexa showed no sign of favouritism as his teacher, she deeply cared for him. He seemed to absorb every lesson easily. Madi on the other hand rebelled and questioned them at each turn. Lexa was no longer sure which of the two of them would be a better commander.

When she arrived at the training ground she found Madi soaking wet and bleeding from a hit on her forehead. She was scratched and bruised and looked more annoyed than she'd ever seen her.

Lexa commanded her to follow and led her to her a private room, calling for a healer to tend to her as they sat on the couch. They cleaned the wound and Lexa dismissed them.

"Why do you keep doing this?" Lexa asked. "It achieves nothing."

"He attacked me. I was defending myself."

Lexa knew that it wasn't true. Jon was one of her nightbloods that had a tendency towards verbal bullying but not violence. In truth he was one of her least favourites. Most likely he had taunted her and she has retaliated with aggression.

"You cannot lash out everytime she leaves."

Lexa dismissed the healer with a wave and brushed the girl's hair back from her forehead. Many of her braids had come undone in the scuffle and there was still the red dye in her hair that Clarke had used.

"I would prefer she was here too," Lexa said softly. "But she has important work to do. Sometimes duty calls us away from those we love."

Madi looked down at her feet.

"My parents left me locked under the floor in their duty to protect me. They never came back."

Lexa realised all at once why Madi kept acting out. She was afraid of losing the only thing that she had left. Lexa could understand that more than anyone.

"I cannot lose Clarke either," Lexa told her, "but sometimes loving someone means letting that person make their own decisions. It means _trusting_ them."

Lexa wasn't even sure Madi was listening, her face a mask of anger and frustration.

"She will be fine. She will return. When she returns do you want her to hear that you started a fight with one of your classmates and behaved badly or do you want her to hear that you worked hard and listened to your teachers? She trusts you. You must trust her in return."

Madi looked up at her, a vulnerability in her eyes. Suddenly she threw her arms around Lexa. Lexa stiffened not sure how to react.

"Can I stay here and read with you after I bathe and change?"

Madi seemed so vulnerable in that moment that Lexa couldn't bring herself to deny the girl.

"For a little while."

"Thanks Lexa."

The little brunette kissed Lexa once on the cheek and then set off towards the door and Lexa wondered just how she had ended up being a surrogate mother to someone who had essentially become Clarke's daughter. It warmed her heart a little to think that they were both really her mothers now.

When the girl returned, Lexa was already reading. Madi sat next to her, her head on Lexa's shoulder as she read the book too.

"You said that you love her," Madi said in a quiet voice.

Lexa lifted her head and turned. Her eyes were searching Lexa's in youthful curiosity.

"I do," Lexa replied.

"Do you miss her too?"

Lexa sighed. It wasn't like her to open up but somehow this child, like Clarke, seemed to cut through her mask of indifference.

"Very much," she said softly.

"Do you think she misses us?" Madi asked.

"I'm sure she does," Lexa said in a firm and reassuring tone. "We can call her on the radio if you would like."

Madi smiled and her whole face lit up.

"Can we?"

Lexa led Madi to her chambers and seated herself on the edge of the bed. Madi sat besides her as she picked up the device.

"Clarke? Are you still there?"

"What's wrong? Has something happened since we spoke?"

Clarke was speaking fast, jumping to negative conclusions already.

"No Clarke. Madi is here. She would - she wants to talk to you."

"Madi?"

Lexa handed her the radio and instructed her to hold in the button and speak.

"Clarke?"

"Hi. How's your lessons? How are you doing?"

"Fine Clarke," Madi replied, glancing nervously at Lexa in case she told her about the fight.

"I'm working hard. I'm learning a lot. How is Arkadia?"

Lexa nodded with a smile, realising that Madi had actually listened to her advice.

"It's fine. I won't be here too long though. I'm not planning to stay very long."

"We start horse riding next week."

"That's great. You'll love it. It's fun. Be careful to listen to the teacher on how to ride safely. It can be dangerous."

Lexa recognised the note of worry in Clarke's voice.

"Tell her that I will take you on your first riding lesson to teach you safely," Lexa instructed.

"Really?" Madi asked, dropping her hand down.

"Tell her," Lexa urged.

Madi raised the receiver again.

"Lexa says she will take me on my first riding lesson to teach me safely."

There was a pause.

"She _will_?"

Madi glanced at Lexa who nodded at her.

"Yes," she said.

"Great! Tell her I said thank you."

Lexa couldn't help a small smile forming at the corner of her lips.

"She's here _remember_ ," Madi joked sarcastically. "She can _hear_ you."

" _Madi_ ," Clarke warned.

"Sorry. Anyway, I should probably get back to my lessons soon so I don't get in trouble for being late. Bye Clarke."

Madi handed the receiver back to Lexa.

"Bye Madi. Love you."

Lexa watched the little girl's face when she heard the words. She looked relieved to have spoken to Clarke but uncertain of herself. Madi reminded her so much of herself at that age, save for the wild disobedient streak that reminded her of Clarke.

She would likely hold the weight of the next command on her shoulders. It saddened Lexa to think that this might be her destiny. She knew Clarke worried so much for Madi because of this knowledge about her potential future.

Lexa was fortunate enough to have good teachers but she had not had a parent since she had been taken from her own as a child. She knew what it was like to feel completely alone with the burden of leadership hanging over you.

It reminded her of her fallen nightblood brothers and sisters. At least Madi would never have to fight hers to the death.

 _Maybe I can be her parent as Clarke is_ she thought. _Maybe this is what she needs just as much as my teachings._

"Lexa. Can I go now? I've got a lesson."

Lexa had almost forgotten for a moment that her nightbloods all waited for her to dismiss them, Madi included.

"Yes," she said, standing up. "Remember the three pillars."

"I know, I know," Madi complained. " _Noun, fiyanes, en uf._ "

Lexa pressed her lips together to keep a grin from forming.

"And you should learn to refrain from sarcasm or mockery."

"You and Clarke are sarcastic with each other all the time," Madi replied, raising her eyebrows in a challenge.

Lexa couldn't help but feel that she was staring at her younger self for a moment. It jarred her and confused her but also endeared her to the girl even more.

"That is different. How we talk in private is not the same as how we talk publicly. Clarke is never disrespectful publicly. Remember that."

Madi raised an eyebrow again as if to disagree but seemed to think better of it.

"Now go," Lexa urged. "And no more fights with your classmates."

Madi left with the exaggerated exasperation of a teenager and Lexa glanced towards Clarke's drawings stacked in a hasty pile.

She walked over to them and rustled through them to find one particular one that Clarke had drawn of Madi. It was a copy of the initial one that Clarke had given Madi when trying to first befriend her.

She examined it for a moment drawn into deep thoughts about her and Clarke and Madi as a family.

Then she moved the drawing aside and found the one that was her favourite. It was the one she'd done of Lexa sleeping that day. It still stirred deep feelings in her to think of how she'd felt when she'd first seen it, of the hope it had given her.

Clarke had not taken it with her, taking a replica of it instead. She often made more than one copy of her drawings, trying to get them 'right' as she stated it. For Lexa, all copies looked the same anyway. She had not an artists eye and they all looked amazing to her.

The next drawing was not Clarke's but one Madi had done of Clarke. In it she appeared fierce and brave and was defeating the Pauna with her firearm. It was not as skilled as Clarke's drawing, given their difference in age but Lexa lined the three drawings together putting Madi in the middle and felt a stirring that she did not recognise.

 _Ai seingeda_ she thought.

Family. She barely remembered the concept she hadn't felt it for so long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ai seingeda - My family.  
> Floukru - Boat people  
> Heda - Commander  
> Ai niron - My lover/near one  
> Ai skaiprisa - My sky princess  
> Noun, fiyanes en uf - Wisdom, Compassion and Strength


	10. Born For This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anya and Clarke are ambushed and flee. Lexa makes a drastic decision and Lexa talks to Madi about leadership.
> 
> ** Thanks for all the comments. I appreciate them so much. ***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the events referred to here was from the first book in the series - Battle Lines.
> 
> The event happened as follows:
> 
> Titus attacked Clarke. Lexa entered agreed sky crew hunting territories to save her. This was during the blockade which broke their agreement with Abby. She was captured at gunpoint by Bellamy who believed her to be the attacker and Marcus and Jaha meant to torture her. Clarke woke up and told them the truth but they didn't believe her so she stole a gun and forced her people to release Lexa. This is how sky crew found out about the pair's real relationship.

Clarke was feeling cheerful. She was headed back towards Polis on horseback, Anya riding alongside her. She would see Lexa and Madi soon and though she was concerned about Jaha she felt positive for once. Her mind was filled with several possibilities for her reunion with Lexa.

Within seconds her peace was shattered as Anya spotted something in the trees.

"What?" Clarke asked in a low voice.

Anya said nothing but turned around, scanning all around them.

"We're about to get ambushed," she whispered. "Follow me."

Clarke obeyed as Anya led her off the the route and towards an small watering hole.

"Down from your horse. Pretend to drink."

Clarke got down immediately and hovered by the water raising some to her lips. She glanced around nervously but kept her head low. Suddenly arrows shot out, grazing one of the horses. The animal squealed in pain and fled, the other horse following with it.

"Run!" Anya urged.

Anya charged ahead, grabbing Clarke's hand and leading her through the woods. Her pace was quick and Clarke could just about keep up with her. They dodged in an out of the undergrowth.

"We need somewhere to hide," Anya stated. "There's too many of them. I saw several archers in the trees."

"Jaha?"

Anya blinked, her back leaning against a tree as she leaned out to check for for enemies.

"Very likely. We must get out of sight. They will find us if we stay here."

"I know a place." said Clarke. "This way."

Anya narrowed her eyes but let the sky girl lead, scouring for enemies as they moved through the forest.

 

When Clarke didn't arrive back in time, Lexa began to pace in her throne room. There was no reason for her to be late. Clarke had radioed her earlier to tell her she was leaving and there was no reason Lexa could think of as to why Clarke would be delayed this time.

She tried to rationalise that something had just come up. One of the sky people had probably asked for her help or some minor trouble that had needed her attention but Lexa was not satisfied with the growing sense of unease she felt.

_A leader should not travel alone. I cannot go after her alone. I should not follow.  
_

It was irrational to follow her so soon yet Lexa instinctively felt that she needed more drastic action, that she must do something different this time. Jaha would expect her to follow with a company of guards. It would make her too visible.

"Send for Indra," she commanded, addressing her guards.

A few moments later the older woman was in front of her, awaiting orders.

"I have a plan," said Lexa. "One which you will not like."

Indra's eyes flickered open wider.

"Commander?"

"I need you to cover in my absence. Tell them I am away to negotiate for a few days with _floukru_ and was delayed by poor weather at sea."

Indra blinked, her mouth slightly open.

"If something happens to me and I do not succeed you must arrange for someone to find and collect the flame. It cannot be left in Jaha's hands."

Indra understood all at once now.

"You mean to go alone? It is too dangerous. You must take a guard."

Lexa shook her head, closing her eyes and pressing her lips together.

"No, Jaha will expect that. For this I must remain undercover. You must tell no one else of this plan. You will take command in my absence."

Indra nodded and Lexa saw some pride in her gaze.

" _Sha, heda._ I will lead well in your absence."

Lexa nodded feeling concern at leaving Polis in someone else's hands. She often left it temporarily when travelling but that was when Titus was there. Indra was a warror not a politician but there was no one she trusted more. Lexa was resolved now in her plan but there was one more detail to consider.

Madi. She must speak to her first.

"Guards. Have Madi brought to the throne room at once. Indra." Lexa motioned for her to leave gathering her thoughts.

When Madi entered the room, Lexa felt a pang of guilt. She would be leaving her alone. If something happened to her when she away that would be another guardian that Madi would have lost. Lexa steeled herself and addressed the girl carefully.

"I have called you here because I am leaving for a few days. I wanted to tell you personally."

Madi's expression was one of worry, her gray eyes immediately recognising that something was wrong.

Lexa stepped closer to her and placed her hands on her shoulders.

"Clarke has been delayed. She is probably fine but I am not leaving anything to chance."

"I'm coming with you," Madi protested.

"No," Lexa said in a firm but gentle tone. "You must stay here and you can tell no one where I am. _No one._ "

Madi looked crushed but Lexa took in a deep breath and continued.

"One day you may be the next commander. It will be your duty then to protect Polis. If we both go and do not return that is two commanders that are lost."

"But Aden-."

"Will not be the next commander. I have seen your spirit in your battles. Aden is wise and strong but we both know that it will probably be you who will succeed at the conclave. I feel it. So do you. Deep down you know that you were born to be a leader one day. Just like me. Just like Clarke."

Lexa rubbed the girls arms.

"Duty comes first," Lexa said in a tender voice. "Our legacy must be protected."

Madi's mouth tightened at the corners. She looked very sad but didn't argue. Lexa knew that she understood her words.

"I will miss you," Lexa said brushing back the girl's hair.

Lexa placed a kiss on her forehead and then separated and stood up straight.

"I must prepare now," said Lexa glancing around the room as she thought of what she would need. "I have little time to waste."

Madi was unusually quiet as Lexa spun on her heels to leave.

"Wait. Lexa!"

Lexa turned back, her red cloak spinning with her as she turned. Madi's gray eyes were on her. She surged towards Lexa and gave her a hug.

"Don't die," Madi pleaded. "Please come back."

Lexa hugged her back.

"I will bring her back to us. I promise. Trust me."

Lexa separated from her and Madi nodded. Lexa turned and left the room, preparing to go undercover for the first time since she first met the sky people.

 _This will be risky_ she thought. _Far too risky._

 

 

Clarke closed the bunker door once Anya was inside.

"No one but my people know about this place. It will serve as a good hideout."

Anya scanned the room.

"It is filled with supplies. I'm surprised your people haven't emptied it yet."

Clarke spotted the bed in the corner of her eyes and the folded metal deer sitting on it. She picked it up sadly. She had left it there long ago in memorial to him.

_Finn made this._

"We told very few people of it. We thought it better to keep it secret."

"That was smart."

_Where would we go next time someone pulled a Murphy?_

_I needed you._

_I wanted it to be you._

Clarke had bared her heart to Finn openly but he had betrayed her from the start. He'd slept with her never telling her about Raven. She knew that he'd thought he loved her but when she thought of it now, she knew that he had barely known her, not really.

She thought of Lexa's immense patience with her in Polis after the mountain had fallen when Clarke had still been hurting. She thought of whether Finn would have understood or been strong enough to give her that same patience. She doubted he would, though she still believed that he had always tried to do the right thing for the most part.

He'd lost his way but Clarke knew that inside he had never been a bad person. They had all done unforgivable things.

"What is that?" Anya asked glancing down at the folded metal in Clarke's hands.

"Nothing," said Clarke placing it on the side.

Anya seemed as though she didn't believe her.

"You came here with your lover Finn. Did you bring Niylah here too. Is this where you bring your lovers in secret?"

Clarke visibly flinched.

"No. Finn was once. Niylah was once and that was at her trading post. There have been no others on Earth."

Anya smirked realising that she had hit a nerve.

"No? Are you sure?"

"Only Lexa," said Clarke lowering her head and turning away. "I don't want anyone else."

Clarke moved away and sat on the bed, taking out her flask and having a drink. She was tired and hungry now and being in the bunker brought too many memories back.

"Tell me," Anya asked surging forward. "How did you forgive her for killing Finn? If it was me I would seek revenge."

Clarke knew that Anya was testing her but she couldn't care in that instant. She stood up and stared Anya down with a glare.

"Because I understood. She did it for peace. Your people wouldn't accept anything else and she wouldn't take m-."

Clarke knew that she had said too much now.

"Wouldn't take you? You offered yourself in Finn's place?"

"I was just as guilty as him. More guilty. He did it for me."

_He did it for me._

She remembered pleading with Lexa who would not be moved. Stoic as ever Lexa had just told her.

_Then he dies for you._

Clarke had had the blade hidden up her sleeve. She had considered using it on Lexa. She was sure Lexa had picked up on it for a split second as she had glanced up and down at her. Clarke had wrestled with the thought of killing her to save him but deep down she had know that it would solve nothing. There would be war and they would all die. It was Finn or her people and she chosen her people.

 _Yet I chose Lexa over them when I held a gun on my own people_.

They had wanted to torture her, to maybe even kill her. The thought of losing Lexa had been too much for her to bear.

"You punish yourself too much for that which you cannot control. You cannot control all of your people. Their decisions are their own."

Clarke knew that she was right but it still stung. Her words were similar to what Lexa would have said to her, had she been here. She hoped that Lexa would not take her absence too hard and do anything reckless.

_Of course she won't. Lexa always thinks about the bigger picture before making decisions. She won't take that risk for me._

But then Clarke remembered how she had been captured by Arkadia just over a year before when Titus had attacked Clarke. It had been the most reckless Lexa had ever been.

 _Because of me_ Clarke thought. _To save me._

Clarke would have rather Lexa had stayed safe and not put herself at risk a million times over but Lexa had chosen Clarke over her people too.

The realisation that they had both made that decision had been hard to process. Both of them were unused to putting one person above the greater good.

If it were Madi or Lexa or her people, Clarke knew that she wouldn't even hesitate to make the choice. She would always choose the girls she loved over the world.

"Lexa will be worried that you have not arrived yet," Anya said, breaking the silence.

"She will probably send guards after us," Clarke replied.

"Jaha's followers will expect that. She will be walking into a trap."

Clarke felt a surge of concern and lifted her head to meet Anya's eyes. Anya was watching her reaction carefully, studying her.

"We have to warn her."

"No. She ordered me to keep you safe. She will be fine."

Clarke waved her hands in frustration.

"We can't just let her walk into a trap! We have to warn her. We have to do something."

Anya shook her head.

"I'm not letting you leave. We wait here until morning."

Clarke immediately thought of her weapon and of forcing Anya to agree. When she reached for it, the weapon was missing.

"I took it," Anya said. "If you want to leave you will have to go through me. I have orders."

"You care about her _too_. You can't just _let_ this happen."

Clarke tried multiple ways to plead with Anya but the woman would not change her mind.

"You might as well rest," Anya told her. "We will travel at dawn."

Clarke grumbled knowing full well that she would not be able to sleep worrying about Lexa. She tried to think of a plan to escape Anya as she had last time but it would not be in time, she knew. Anya was fierce and fighting with her last time had been a constant struggle. She lay down on the bed, her head on the pillow, her eyes on Anya's statue like figure guarding her.

 _I have to do something_ she thought. _But what?  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Floukru - boat clan / Luna leads them.  
> Sha, heda - yes commander


	11. Thirsty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa tracks Clarke and Anya after the attempted ambush. Clarke and Lexa argue about Lexa's plan and Anya comes up with a solution.

Lexa headed through the woods in plain grounder clothes, her weapons concealed and a hood over her head. Dirt streaked her face and her hair was unbraided to give the impression that she could be just any young _trikru_ woman. The last time she had been disguised as such was when she had first met Jaha and Kane in their cell.

She tracked the hoof prints to the woods and found two horses grazing together. They were both beautiful black animals. Lexa searched around them but found no sign of Clarke and Anya. Feeling more worried than ever now, Lexa backtracked and tried to search for evidence but found nothing.

When she heard voices coming towards her she climbed a nearby tree, pulling herself up on each branch until she reached the top. Below her she saw Jaha's followers and listened to their words in silence. They had not found Clarke and Anya. That was a good sign. The women would have likely found shelter but where would they go?

When they left, Lexa climbed slowly back down and landed with a soft thud back on her feet.

_There's one place she might have gone._

 

Anya hadn't rested yet. Clarke wondered just how long it would take her to tire and if she could outlast her but Anya's loyalty to Lexa seemed to be infinite. Numerous possibilities flooded through Clarke's mind, everything ranging from outright killing her to knocking her on the head.

Clarke knew that she would do none of those things. However much she hated not going to Lexa, Anya was someone who was close to Lexa's heart. Clarke could not do it to her.

Suddenly the door opened and Anya immediately unsheathed her sword. Lexa walked into the bunker dressed in a way that Clarke had never seen her. She had on dark jeans and a long dark vest top. Her hair was held back by a piece of fabric that trailed down over her chest like a scarf and she had dark wraps around her hands and wrists.

Clarke blinked rapidly at the sight of her. She had never looked so unassuming.

"Lexa," she exclaimed, rushing forward with her arms open.

The commander open her arms around wrapped them around Clarke in return. It was such a relief to feel their bodies pressed together.

"You shouldn't be here," said Anya her gaze falling down.

"I know," replied Lexa. "I have a plan."

Clarke met Lexa's eyes in confusion.

"I thought we already had a plan."

"That was before Jaha's followers attacked you. He knew that you were here. That means someone told him."

Clarke's eyes widened as she thought about the possibility.

"Someone inside Arkadia. A spy."

"Possibly multiple spies."

Clarke wished that they were back in Polis, waking up together and in daily meetings with the other ambassaders. Things were not simpler there but she felt safer in Polis. It felt safer when Lexa was in Polis. Somehow they were both back in danger again.

"What's your plan?"

 

Twenty minutes later and Clarke was still shaking her head.

"If you are going undercover I'm coming too. Jaha could kill you if he recognises you!"

"You are far too visible. Jaha knows your face too well. You cannot join me in this mission. You will return to Polis!"

"Like _hell_ I will!"

Clarke stood her ground, facing down the commander, who was fiercly defending her argument. They were at eye level just an inch from each other both refusing to back down.

"Do not make me command you Clarke," Lexa sneered.

Clarke glared even fiercer, her lips pressed tightly together in defiance.

"Try it! Just don't bother climbing into my bed later if you do."

"You dare threaten me!"

Anya watched the women argue with intense passion both too stubborn to back down.

"Clarke could always wear a disguise."

Lexa turned sharply and raised an eyebrow as if insulted that she had sided with Clarke.

"I am _heda_. I can order you both back to Polis if I wish."

Anya kept her gaze despite it's intensity.

"It makes more sense to take Clarke with you. She knows more of Jaha and _skaikru_ than we do."

Lexa narrowed her eyes as if Anya was committing treason.

"I thought you didn't trust her," she mocked.

"Mockery is not the product of a strong mind Lexa. I thought I taught you that when you were a child."

Lexa turned away, crossing her arms and gave her an annoyed sideways glance.

"Fine. We will both be in disguise," she scoffed.

Lexa eyed her blond wavy hair, still annoyed at having to concede.

"We have to do something about your hair first. It is far too distinct."

Clarke was calming down now but she still seemed a little annoyed. Though she had won neither woman made eye contact, letting their emotions simmer down before continuing. They had both let their emotions get the better of them.

"I can dye it. I still have some berries. I can wear a scarf across my face too."

Lexa nodded feeling calmer now. Anya observed the two women's interactions with growing amusement.

"No wonder the sex you two have is so good," she uttered. 

Lexa and Clarke both looked sharply at her.

"I have ears," Anya stated. "Half of Polis likely knows every time you are both intimate."

"God Anya, are there any doors that you _can't_ hear through?" Clarke protested.

Lexa turned away from Anya not so subtly scanning up and down Clarke's body now in a sideways glance as she remembered their more erotic moments together. Her throne room kept appearing in her mind. She remembered Clarke grinding on top of her, Clarke on her knees, Clarke's mouth between-

"Lexa!" Clarke snapped.

Clarke had been asking her about their plans. She hadn't even been listening.

"We will remain here for tonight," Lexa replied, quickly regaining her composure. "You should dye your hair before we leave."

Clarke started searching through her pack, while Lexa's mind continued to wander.

 _She is wearing that low cut top that she always wore when we first met_ thought Lexa. _I spent so many meetings trying to stay focussed on her eyes._

Lexa found it worse now that she knew what Clarke's body really looked like and how sweet it tasted. Lexa licked her lips without meaning to as she became distracted again. She listened this time too not wanting to get caught unawares again but her mind wandered as she listened.

"Thirsty Lexa?" Anya asked, with a smirk. "There's water in Clarke's pack if you ask her nicely."

Lexa glowered at her in embarrassment, her head lowered. Clarke didn't even notice as she planned her disguise and rooted through her pack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trikru - tree clan  
> Heda - Commander  
> Skaikru - sky clan


	12. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa spend time alone in the bunker discussing the past while Anya begins to question her initial assessment of the couple's relationship.
> 
> [Any comments that Lexa has nothing to be forgiven for will be deleted. I never said at any point that I believe that Lexa SHOULD need forgiveness or did anything wrong or that Finn was innocent nor do I ever assume that skaikru is completely innocent and are any way BETTER than the grounders which in fact I don't. I am frankly tired of people assuming my thoughts and feelings on this and sending me angry/hateful comments about it. Please stop assuming!]
> 
> *Sorry. I really did want to do a bunker sex scene but I couldn't see Clarke wanting to with the negative memories she had associated with it and how involved Lexa was in his death so I went for something else.

"Will this do?"

When Lexa first saw Clarke's disguise she didn't know what to say. She had never looked so much like one of her own people before. Her hair was completely red and straighter and she looked like a _trikru_ hunter. She wore a black vest top and dark pants with a short black jacket. Her hands were covered by fingerless gloves that had metal decorations over the outside.

"Are those my clothes?" Lexa asked with surprise. "When did you take my clothes?"

Blue eyes met hers and then darted away in embarrassment.

"You never wear then anymore. I thought you wouldn't miss them."

Clarke met her eyes again now and Lexa understood. She had taken them to have a piece of Lexa with her when she travelled, to have something familiar.

Lexa felt a strange sensation at the sight of Clarke in her clothes, one she couldn't name. For some reason she liked it very much. It was almost like by wearing them she was signalling their connection to the world. She was saying that they belonged to each other. Lexa wasn't sure why it brought her so much joy. She only knew that she wanted Clarke to continue doing it.

"Are you sure about this? If something happens to you... You're the commander."

Lexa stepped forward and took Clarke's wrists.

"I'll be fine Clarke."

"I mean if something happens to us both..." Clarke lifted her head and met Lexa's eyes, her lips curved into a sad, worried expression. " _Madi._ "

Lexa slipped her hands down to Clarke's rubbing circles over her palms with her thumbs.

"She will be taken care of. I have made sure of that. Indra and Gaia will protect her with their lives."

Ckarke nodded silently and Lexa tugged her gently towards the bed sitting back down on it. Anya was out hunting. When Clarke resisted, her green eyes opened wider, searching for answers as to what was going on with Clarke. She had noticed the blonde seem troubled about more than Jaha in the bunker. Her eyes had gone to a piece of metal twisted into the shape of a deer more than once.

"What's wrong?" Lexa asked in the softest voice.

Clarke hovered in front of her with an immeasurably sad expression. She picked up the two-headed metal deer.

"Finn made me this. We saw a two-headed deer when we first landed. This is where we-" Clarke glanced away, almost shyly. "It's weird being here."

Lexa felt a surge of guilt flood through her. When she has asked what was wrong she had no idea it would be about the boy.

"You placed it here in memory of him."

"In memory of who he used to be. War changed him. The Finn I knew would've never killed those villagers."

Lexa still had hold of Clarke's hands. She rubbed soft circles over the inside of her wrists.

"Sometimes the world changes people, causes them to do things that they think themselves incapable of. Many good people lose their way in war."

"Like Octavia? I sure you've noticed the change in her."

Lexa stiffened at the mention of the girl's name. She had been worried about that sky girl since TonDC but Clarke wasn't ready to give up on her friend.

"She broke up with Lincoln. She pushed away Bellamy. She even pushed away Indra in the end. I picked her for the mission because she's good but what if she becomes swayed by Jaha's message?"

Lexa swallowed as she stared deep into those transfixing blue eyes that she loved so much. Clarke cared so much about her people. They often only saw her actions. They thought her ruthless. They never the saw the hours of worry and ruminations, the time spent coming up with solutions to try and save them from theirselves. Clarke dedicated her life to others.

"Perhaps she just wishes to be accepted. You said that her own people wanted her dead just for being born. Perhaps that's why she seems to favour our people over yours. She can earn her place here."

Clarke considered it.

"You're right. That makes sense."

"I'm sorry about Finn," Lexa said, faltering. "I cannot regret my decision as a leader. It was my only choice. My people would have it no other way."

Clarke nodded.

"They weren't ready for _jus nou drein jus daun._ Not then."

"It is because of you that are laws have changed. Because of you there will never be another Finn or Gustus. No one may die unnecessarily. Justice can be done differently. _You_ did that."

Clarke shook her head with a slight smile forming at the corners of her mouth.

"No. _You_ did. I just suggested it."

" _You_ showed us another way," Lexa replied.

Clarke smiled openly now. Lexa tugged her closer and she followed, sitting on Lexa's lap. Lexa's hands went around her back and waist as Clarke leaned down and kissed her. Lexa held onto her gently, kissing her back desperately as if Clarke might disappear at any moment.

"Not here," said Clarke, pulling back suddenly. "Not this bed."

"Let's just rest," said Lexa brushing Clarke's hair back from her face. "Save our energy for tomorrow."

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck. She leaned forward and planted a kiss on her cheek. Clarke rested her head on Lexa's shoulders.

"I would like that," she said with a sigh.

Lexa ran her fingers through the back of Clarke's hair and rested her hand there. They stayed in each other's arms not wanting to move for a moment.

When they finally moved to get into bed, Clarke turned away on her side and Lexa brought her arm around Clarke. They settled in together, their bodies pressed closely. Clarke was usually more protective and was more commonly the one who held Lexa in this manner but Lexa knew that when Clarke was feeling more vulnerable she sometimes needed Lexa to be the protective one. It gave her comfort.

"Lexa," Clarke whispered.

"Yes," Lexa replied shifting her head slightly on the pillow.

"I've forgiven you for Finn. I understand why you did it."

Lexa felt as if her heart was going to burst. She wondered why she deserved this kind of love, this forgiveness. Clarke had forgiven her enough already. As a commander, Lexa did what she had to and bore the emotional reactions from those who disagreed. She had been taking on the weight of the consequences of leadership since she was twelve. Lexa was content that Clarke loved her and trusted her. Forgiveness was something she never asked for or expected.

"I love you," Lexa whispered, running her hands down Clarke's arm.

She caressed her palm softly down Clarke's lower arms and wrists and then rested her hand on Clarke's squeezing it gently. Clarke shuffled closer and Lexa pulled her into her own body tighter. Any doubt about her choice to follow Clarke and change their plan faded. Lexa thought that she would risk anything for this. At one time that thought scared her, now it was just an inevitable truth, as inevitable as the sun rising in the morning. Her heart was bound to Clarke's. No one could ever convince her otherwise.

 

Anya returned and found the two women sleeping in a tight embrace. She observed Lexa's protective hold over Clarke. From what she has witnessed before Clarke was usually the more physically affectionate one in the relationship but now Lexa was holding onto her as if she never wanted to let go. Clarke was curled up in her embrace, peacefully accepting her protection as if it was all she had ever needed. She knew that the sky girl could be strong but she frequently doubted herself and her decisions.

While travelling with her, Anya had seen her constant worry for her people. The sky girl found it difficult to separate her heart from her head when it came to worrying. She seemed sincere in her desire for peace but Anya had seen a fire in her eyes when she'd thought Lexa was walking into a trap. She'd seen it before when they had fought after escaping Mount Weather. All warriors recognised that fire in someone's eyes. It was the look of someone who might kill you if pushed too far.

Still, watching them now, Anya couldn't help the uneasy feeling that flooded through her. It was the feeling that she had been wrong, that Clarke and Lexa were truly in love. Somehow that seemed harder to deal with. Clarke as an enemy was an easy option. Clarke as Lexa's lover, scared Anya because she knew how fiercely Lexa loved and how love could push people towards recklessness, even those as smart as Lexa.

So far the pair seemed to balance each other, both focussed first on the bigger picture and the consequences of their choices. The more Anya learned of their relationship the more she respected that they had been smart and kept it completely quiet for as long as possible.

 _No wonder Titus was afraid of Clarke_ she thought. _The effect she has on Lexa is startling._

Anya was not Titus though. If Lexa and Clarke were truly in love she would protect that at all costs. Anya had seen Lexa's devastation at losing Costia. She would not do that to Lexa again.

 

Several years before.

Lexa cried in her room, sobbing as if she was never going to stop. Anya hovered outside her door, the sound breaking her heart. When the severed head had arrived, Lexa's face had been full of mixed emotions, rage, terror but most of all grief. She had backed away from it in shock. She had dismissed everyone from her room with anger, uncharacteristically uncontrolled in her rage and yelling at them to leave. She had controlled her emotions as much as possible but the second the door had closed and she was alone, Anya had heard her break down, repeating Costia's name over and over.

It had gone on for such a long time. Lexa had not left her room for hours. It was so unlike her to shut out the world, to ignore her duties. Anya had stayed outside deeply worried for her second.

When Lexa had finally emerged her expression was hardened and cold. Anya thought she would talk of revenge but she talked instead of peace, of the coalition and Anya knew what she was doing. Lexa had decided to focus only of her role as commander, being alone and of shielding her heart from ever feeling that pain again.

As Anya remembered the change in Lexa after that event, how cold and ruthless she become, how cut off, she wondered how on earth Lexa had gone from being like that to being like this. She was nuzzling into the back of Clarke's neck, pressing gentle kisses there. She looked so happy. Anya couldn't remember ever seeing Lexa like this, even with her joy for Costia.

That only made Anya fear more, for it meant that Lexa loved Clarke even more than she had Costia. She feared greatly what Lexa might become if Clarke was taken from her.

 _I have to protect the sky girl_ thought Anya. _It is my duty to protect my heda. She may not recover if she loses this one and we all would suffer._

Anya had never admitted it out loud but she cared for Lexa more than just as her mentor. She felt more like Lexa was her younger sister and Anya had a deep instinct to protect her. When Lexa and the handmaiden Costia had started sharing secret smiles, their eyes meeting too often, their gazes lingering for a little too long, Anya had felt a little proud of Lexa. She had known the pair had been sneaking away. When Costia had been killed all that joy had gone away.

With Clarke it seemed different. They challenged each other. Lexa allowed Clarke far more room to question her than she had ever allowed Costia. Clarke understood Lexa's role as commander and the weight it carried. Clarke carried a similar burden as the unofficial leader of her own people. She was unconvential, a leader out of necessity, not appointed or chosen and Lexa deferred to her opinion and respected it. Costia had had little understanding of politics or war. Her role had been one of service.

It was different on so many levels with Clarke and Anya had just began to fathom that this relationship went deeper. They had a mutual respect and understanding between them that others didn't seem a part of.

She heard Lexa give a slight hum as she shifted slightly in the bed to get comfortable. Clarke was fast asleep by now. Anya was sure that Lexa wasn't even that tired but had gone to bed early purely for the sky girl's benefit. Anya would remain awake as guard again, catching rest in naps only.

_She would keep them both safe or die trying._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trikru - tree clan  
> Heda - commander  
> Jus nou drein jus daun - blood must not have blood.


	13. Belonging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa meet with Octavia as they go undercover. Lexa acts out of character which makes Clarke concerned and Lexa and Clarke enjoy some alone time. NSFW

Lexa and Clarke arrived at the village, wearing their disguises. Jaha was stationed in the area, having took over many of the buildings and setup numerous tents. The three women sneaked past Jaha's crowd dressed as _trikru_ villagers, Clarke wearing a scarf across her face to keep herself hidden in case Jaha spotted her.

Anya still held a great deal of influence over some of the _trikru_ members there that didn't agree with Jaha. She arranged for them to be setup in one of the larger huts that was out of the way of the main village and for them to pose as wives for the duration of their stay. 

Octavia and the others were already there and were now members of Jaha's cult, having gone to him and pretended to be defectors from sky crew.

Anya sent for Octavia to discuss the change to the plan, as soon as Lexa and Clarke were safely setup inside the hut

"You're posing as a married couple then?" Octavia joked, when she saw them sat at the table side by side. "Something you want to tell me Clarke?"

Clarke ignored her jest just telling her to sit down.,

"He let us in easily," Octavia told her. "He's so convinced of his message that he bought our story right away."

"Have you found the supplies?" Lexa asked.

Octavia gave her a sideways glance. She always seemed more uneasy with Lexa's authority than Clarke's, though she challenged Clarke's all the time too.

"Not yet. Only his inner circle knows. He's been pretty private about everything. Every time someone asks him anything, he just starts talking about faith and tells them to trust him."

Clarke frowned and glanced at Lexa.

"He sounds like he's getting worse."

"Fanatics usually do," Lexa interjected. "They are the worst kind of enemy. It's impossible to reason with them."

"So this is the new plan? You are both gonna stay here as spies in the village? What's wrong? Didn't you trust me to do this?"

Clarke and Lexa shared a glance and remembered their earlier conversatiom about Octavia's outsider complex.

"We _do_ trust you," Clarke said quickly. "If we hadn't been attacked on the road, the plan wouldn't have changed. You're one of _us_. We wouldn't have chosen you if we didn't think that you could pull it off."

Something flickered in Octavia's eyes, some deep rooted pain.

"As Indra's second, you hold rank over Murphy, Niylah and Emori," Lexa told her. "They will report to you and you to us."

"I won't fail,"Octavia said with determination. "We'll bring Jaha down and end this rebellion."

Lexa nodded.

"I sure you will, Octavia _kom trikru_. Return to the others and inform them of the situation. I will expect an update of the situation from you soon."

Clarke gave her a sharp look, not sure what Lexa thought she was doing calling Octavia _trikru_. Octavia stood up, seeming happier than Clarke had seen her in a while and left the hut.

" _Trikru_?"

Lexa turned to her.

"She wants nothing more than to be accepted and to prove herself. She seems to see herself more as _trikru_ than _skaikru_."

Clarke understood what she meant but couldn't help but feel a little annoyed at one of her peope being named as one of _trikru_ 's instead.

"They are _all_ our people Clarke," Lexa told her, noticing her slight annoyance.

"Sure."

Lexa's mouth curved up into a smile at Clarke's pouting.

"What?" Clarke asked, when she noticed Lexa's amusement.

"You are pouting."

Clarke's lips begin to quirk up at corners.

"I'm not pouting."

"You are pouting like a child."

"And you never do?"

"A commander does not pout."

"You do so."

Lexa and Clarke both smiled at each other, wickedly enjoying teasing each other. Lexa glanced down at the table with an exhasparated sigh.

"I suppose I will have to wait until this is over to see you in war paint and find out your plans for my war table."

There was a twinkle of mischief in Clarke's eyes when Lexa met them again.

"Oh. I have plans for us here. We are posing as _houmons_ in the village. We may as well act like it."

Lexa wore a broad grin now. She leaned forward and connected her lips with Clarke's, tilting her head sideways.

When someone walked into their hut, they separated quickly out of habit. It was Anya with Niylah.

"Practising being wives already I see," Anya teased."She says she has vital information for you."

Lexa nodded and Niylah sat down nervously at the table in front of them. Clarke still felt awkward when the two of them were in the same room but Lexa rarely seemed as bothered by Niylah as she had when she had first learned what had happened between them. Lexa still had a tendency to glare at the poor woman.

"Commander, ambassador, I have been speaking to many of the villagers when trading with them. They tell me that not all those here are following Jaha willingly. Many of the members of this village were forced to join his cause."

"How?" Clarke asked curiously.

Niylah glanced at her, keeping eye contact.

"Jaha arrived at the village with a large group of followers. He demanded that they either join him or he forces them from their homes. Many stayed because they feared him and didn't want to lose what they have. They obey him out of fear not because they want to."

"Good," Lexa said in a deep voice. "We can gain allies of them. Can you create a list of all villagers who would unite with us against Jaha? We can start with that."

Clarke narrowed her eyes at the question watching the exchange carefully. Niylah nodded giving Lexa a slight smile.

"Of course commander. Right away."

"Thank you Niylah. We can send for you if there is anything more."

Niylah lowered her head with a smile and exited the tent.

 _What was that_? Clarke thought.

She _asked_ Niylah. She would normally order her not ask her. Clarke began to wonder how deep into her undercover roles Lexa went when she was a spy.

She was acting oddly.She hadn't sneered at Niylah once or even seemed annoyed at her presence. She had been more patient with Octavia. Lexa normally expected obedience, regardless of people's feelings toward the order.

Maybe it was the simple clothes that she wore that made her look like a normal village girl, or maybe it was where she was. Something was up.

"What are you thinking?" asked Lexa.

Clarke frowned again. Yet another non-Lexa like question.

"I'm thinking that you might be taking this undercover thing too seriously. You are acting weird."

Lexa's jaw faltered and then Clarke knew something was going on.

"I'm fine. Should we get a bath. We can have one drawn up. Anya can you arrange a handmaiden for us to draw a bath?"

_There it is again. She's asking not ordering._

Anya agreed and exited the hut. Clarke became more determined than before to get to the bottom of Lexa's behaviour change.

In truth, it unnerved her. For as long as she'd known Lexa she had been a commander first and Lexa second. She often forgot to turn off her commander tone, even in private with Clarke. It was a part of her. Lexa was acting just like everyone else just now and Clarke irrationally missed the commander part of her.

Lexa ignored her stares and picked up a book she had and began to read.

 _Maybe she just gets too deep into her acting_ Clarke mused.

When she had posed as a grounder it had certainly begun to affect her behaviour and mannerisms. When she'd been back in Arkadia it had taken her months to remove the tendency to be blunt rather than polite in her communications.

 _I still don't like it_ she thought irrationally. _I like Lexa for who she is._

A little while later they had a large steaming tub ready in the back of the hut. It had taken a great deal of effort for the handmaidens to fill the tub and numerous luxorious scents and flower petals had been added to the tub.

Clarke smiled at the thought of being clean again. She had collected enough berries to re-dye her hair afterwards so she could still bathe as much as she wanted.

She undressed hurriedly out of Lexa's clothes and watched as Lexa stripped down from the ordinary clothes she wore.

Underneath, Lexa's body was lithe and athletic. Clarke inhaled a breath at the sight of her though she has seen her naked body before. She let her eyes wander over the curves of her legs and hips, the swell of her breasts and the toned tattooed arms.

The simple clothes had made her look weaker somehow. It was ridiculous how easily Lexa disguised herself as a powerless girl.

The woman in front of her now appeared anything but powerless. She had a warrior's body, feminine and sculpted with muscle.

Lexa's eyes were on her too and they both climbed into the tub with excitement. When the warmth hit her skin, Clarke groaned and Lexa immediately snapped her head around curiously.

"It's so warm. I wish we'd had baths like this in space."

Lexa didn't reply, her eyes lowered to watch Clarke's body under the water. Clarke dipped her head back under the water, emersing herself. Her breasts dipped upwards as her head and shoulders emerged from the water and she ran her hands back over her face and hair with eyes closed. When she shook her head and opened them, Lexa's eyes were on her staring at her with a fierce, possessive hunger.

 _There's the commander I know_ she thought with a silent chuckle.

Lexa waded over to her, her arms moving through the water and hovered over Clarke.

"Put your arms around me," she commanded, her lips curved into a hungry sneer.

Clarke blinked twice with surprise but obeyed.

"You _were_ acting," she said, rubbing the back of Lexa's neck.

"Yes. It's hard to break from the role when I am undercover. I'm committed to it."

_Ah... I was right._

Clarke sensed a deep frustration in Lexa. She had wanted to order Niylah and Octavia around. She had wanted to be the commander. She seemed unable to break character while she was acting as a spy. It was probably easier to keep up the whole charade around everyone else. That was something new she hadn't known about her.

Lexa pushed Clarke against the back of the tub, her whole body pressed against hers. A thrill of excitment flooded Clarke as green eyes mets hers and she understood what Lexa intended. Lexa was staring down at her with hunger, her eyes locked onto her lips and then moving down her body and back to her lips. Her gaze felt deeply possessive and for some reason Clarke loved that.

She opened her mouth to speak but Lexa pressed her lips against hers not yet kissing her.

"No more talking," she ordered. "You're going to obey your commander."

Clarke nodded and grinned and Lexa began to grind against her, holding her in place. Clarke shivered as Lexa's lips began to move against hers sweeping her up into a deep kiss. Clarke shuddered and began to reciprocate the movements but Lexa stopped.

"Don't move," she murmoured. "Let me."

Clarke could've screamed she was so aroused. There were was a gentle wickedness in Lexa's eyes, a tempered ferocity that warned Clarke not to defy her. Lexa raised an eyebrow to further her point and Clarke stiffened in obedience. Lexa closed her eyes and began to kiss down Clarke's neck, grinding slowly against her under the water. Clarke could feel her breaths become ragged.

She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes as she felt the commander's hands running up and down her body. They were on her thighs, gripping them, moving slowly upwards and then pushing them apart to allow Lexa's body to fit in between them. Clarke gasped as their cores rubbed together. Her eyes were firmly closed now, one hand gripping Lexa's neck, while the other rested behind it.

"You are mine," Lexa whispered in a deep, low tone as she continued to rub her body against Clarke's.

Clarke couldn't even respond, the pressure building up in her so fast that she could barely focus on anything but Lexa and her warrior body controlling her own.

Lexa was pressing so tightly against her, moving up and down so that their cores rubbed with each movement. Clarke tried to resist the loud moan that threatened to come out of her mouth but she couldn't.

She thought to clamp down on Lexa's neck as she once had before but didn't want to leave a mark like she had done in the past. She turned her head to the side in frustration, trying to keep from vocalising her arousal and then Lexa bit her.

It was a pleasant shock. Lexa never did this. It wasn't a hard bite but a gentle slow nip into the side of her neck just above her shoulder. It released everything that has been building in Clarke and she moaned far too loudly as she orgasmed directly against Lexa's body that shuddered in response. Clarke shook against her, Lexa's mouth still gripped her neck, her teeth not breaking the skin. It didn't really hurt but it was a sign of dominance. Lexa was dominating her and God she loved it so much.

When Clarke came down from her orgasm and opened her eyes, Lexa was staring at her. She brushed her fingers gently over the light bruise she had left on Clarke.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I-."

Clarke hushed her. She knew why.

"Don't ever apologise for that. You can do that to me anytime you want."

Lexa still stared at her in awe. Clarke had felt her orgasm too somewhere in the middle of her own spasms, though in truth she had lost all ability to care about anything else in that moment.

"If you acting like a different person while you're a spy means you are going to be like this in private, then I think I can deal with it," Clarke said, as if answering an unspoken question.

There was a smile tugging at the corners of Lexa's mouth. Her eyes were half-closed in a sleepy manner. She didn't say anything but just watched Clarke, still caressing the mark she had made on her neck.

"How long do you think until the water goes cold?" Clarke asked in a playful tone.

"Let's find out," Lexa replied, raising an eyebrow again. "We have all night."

They threw themselves at each other, their mouths fitting together perfectly, their hands exploring each other without caution and Clarke could feel Lexa taking charge again, pushing her further.

Clarke rained kisses across her neck and collarbone and ran her hands across Lexa's nipples and breasts palming them hungrily. She ran her hands lower until she reached Lexa's core and began to rub her palm against it.

Lexa gripped Clarke's hand and guided it back and forth as Lexa kissed and moaned Clarke, darting her tongue between Clarke's lips. Lexa guided Clarke's other hand to her own breast and Clarke massaged it as Lexa tilted her head into the kiss and deepened it. Lexa pulled back suddenly.

"I want-," she said in an unsteady voice.

"Tell me. _You're_ in charge."

"I want to watch you."

_Oh!_

Clarke understood and backed away. She emerged from the water in front of Lexa, whose face was a mask of mixed emotions.

"Tell me what to do."

Lexa looked as if her brain was short circuiting she was so aroused. Clarke was thrilled at sudden power she held.

"Lexa?"

"Please yourself."

Clarke smirked and pressed her own hands to her breasts and massaged them. Lexa watched with a mix of curiosity and hunger as she ran her fingers over her very pink nipples.

"Lower," Lexa growled.

Clarke teased her and dipped her hands down to her thighs but just out of sight in the water. It was the right choice as Lexa inhaled sharply as her hands disappeared. Clarke raised her body slightly higher out of the water, slowly standing up until Lexa could see her hands moving up to her own core and her fingers dipping inside.

"Stay there," Lexa growled and surged forward.

Clarke was fully stood up in the bath now as Lexa pressed her lips onto Clarke's vagina, kissing at first and then allowing her tongue to enter the woman. Lexa gripped the back of her thighs and slowly licked into her, her tongue long and soft. "

That feels amazing," Clarke moaned. "Right there."

A surge of intense pleasure raced through Clarke's body and she began to lose all power of speech as she gripped Lexa's hair and kept her in place.

"God. That's. God!"

Lexa was not replying, far too busy where she was and when Clarke came, she came hard multiple times. Lexa did not stop and Clarke felt herself build up again and again until she could take no more and released a final, exhilarating orgasm with an enormously loud feminine moan. She whined as Lexa pulled away, unable to take anymore.

She sat back down in the tub in exhaustion, Lexa's arms coming around her as she did. Lexa sat with her back against the tub, pulling Clarke to lean back against her.

"God Lexa," she uttered. "I don't think I can move for a while. What was that about?"

Lexa kissed her on the cheek, her arms wrapped against Clarke's waist. Clarke rested her head back on Lexa's shoulders. "

Not that I'm complaining," Clarke continued. "But I had planned on satisfying you too."

"Later," Lexa said in a low voice. "Let's just enjoy this."

_Something has changed for her. There is definitely something going on._

Clarke knew that Lexa would tell her when she was ready. She suspected it was something to do with them pretending to be wives and being undercover, without the burden of leadership being on her 24/7.

Carefree was not a word Clarke would ever use to describe Lexa but right in that moment, that was exactly how Lexa seemed.

"This is the closest you ever get to a holiday isn't it?" Clarke teased.

Lexa was smiling. Clarke couldn't see it but she could sense it.

"Yes. It's nice to be living back here."

Clarke suddenly realised why she was acting strange.

"Wait. Was this your village?" she asked turning around.

"This was my hut," Lexa replied. "I grew up here until I was taken by the _fleimkepa_."

_Oh!_

Clarke felt a little embarrassed that she had not known though no one had mentioned.

"I thought all nightbloods were sent to Polis from birth. How old were you when they found you?"

"My parents wished to shield me from the burden of leadership. They kept me secret for eight years. After the _fleimkepa_ took me I never saw them again."

Clarke blinked rapidly at the thought of Lexa being torn from her parents at such a young age. She put one hand on Lexa's shoulder and the other on her cheek.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Lexa seemed unaffected.

"How could you? It's fine Clarke. I barely remember them now. I have only vague memories of this place."

Clarke gazed into those beautiful green eyes seeing a wistfulness behind them. There were so many layers to Lexa. She had great depths of wisdom behind her eyes and immense strength. Clarke could not have imagined being taken from her parents at such a young age. Clarke caressed her cheek, running her thumb across it, tracing the contours of her high cheekbones.

"Actually I have been thinking," Lexa said, sounding a little uncertain now. "Madi's situation is a little different from the other nightbloods. She was taken at a much later age and not raised in Polis. I was thinking..."

Clarke watched her falter, wondering just where she was going with this.

"We should adopt her."

Clarke lost all power of speech as Lexa stared earnestly back at her, awaiting her response. Of all the things she had expected Lexa to say, this was not one of them.

"Are you serious? You want to _adopt_ her. Can you even _do_ that as commander?"

"We already act as her parents. We would have to keep it a secret except from those we can trust but Madi would know and it would be official. There would be a ceremony."

Lexa raised her hands as she spoke, gesturing her words. Clarke thought her heart would burst at how sweet this was.

"Yes! Let's adopt her officially. Let's be her parents."

"Are you sure?" Lexa asked. "If it is too soon to consider this-".

"It's not. I want this. Do you?"

Clarke thought for a second that Lexa may be suggesting it just because she knew how close Clarke's relationship with Madi was. Lexa and Madi usually kept more of a formal relationship.

"Yes," said Lexa softly.

Lexa took Clarke's hand in her own.

"She is our family."

Clarke blinked rapidly, a tear threatening to spill.

"Lexa. This means a lot. This is - everything."

"It's settled then," Lexa said firmly. "When we return to Polis we will make arrangements. We can tell Madi first."

"She'll be thrilled."

Clarke threw her arms around Lexa, still a little surprised and moved by the gesture. Lexa could be impossibly sweet when her people weren't watching.

"I never thought I could have this," Lexa said softly.

"What?" Clarke replied.

"A family."

Their eyes met again and Clarke thought she might actually cry if Lexa continued like this. They would be happy tears. Lexa completely disarmed her when she was like this.

"We _are_ a family," Clarke continued, running one hand through Lexa's hair. "And soon it will all be official. We will be married. Madi will be ours. You can have everything."

"Titus was so wrong."

Lexa's voice was low and deep and her eyes were deep and earnest.

"I always knew that."

Lexa responded with an amused smile and Clarke continued to brush her fingers through Lexa's hair.

"Titus never stood a chance against you," Lexa whispered still smiling.

Clarke grinned, her eyes focussed on Lexa's soft, plump lips.

"You know, I still haven't payed you back for earlier," Clarke teased. "Isn't it your turn?"

Clarke smirked and Lexa's smile broadened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trikru - tree clan  
> Kom trikru - from the tree clan  
> Skaikru - Sky clan  
> Houmons - wives/husbands/spouse  
> Fleimkepa - flamekeeper


	14. Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anya finds Raven wandering the woods trying to search for Clarke. Anya and Raven spend an intimate ride back to the village  
> Clarke and Lexa spend some time alone in the woods while things are quiet. NSFW

Raven was walking through the woods when Anya found her. She was far too visible in her red bomber jacket and her leg was clearly slowing her down as she had begun to limp. Anya steered her horse over towards the stubborn sky girl with frustration.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. "It was foolish to leave Polis alone."

Raven carried on walking forward stubbornly.

"I'm finding Clarke. She didn't come back. No one will tell me where Lexa is apart from some _bs_ story about her being with Luna."

Anya kept her horse alongside the sky girl, observing the slight worsening of her limp as she pushed forward. The exertion was beginning to worsen her injury. Clearly she couldn't use it as much as she wished to. If she continued alone her leg would never make it all the way to the village.

"Get on the horse," Anya said plainly. "Before someone sees us here and you ruin everything."

"I'm not going back to Polis without Clarke."

Anya nudged the horse closer to her.

"I'm not taking you back to Polis. I'm taking you to Clarke. You will never make the journey on foot."

Raven pressed her lips together in obstinance.

"I can walk just fine. I don't need your _help_."

"Know your limitations," Anya told her. "It is not weakness to know what you are capable of and what you are not. Get on the horse."

Raven stopped and Anya halted the horse. The small woman looked back up at her, her determination faltering. It clearly pained her that she had to accept help. She had obviously been taught by experience to be independent and to do everything alone.

Anya held out her hand and Raven took it. The sky girl climbed up awkwardly on the horse behind Anya, putting her hands around Anya's waist. Anya could feel the woman's petite body pressed against her own.

"Where is your family Raven _kom skaikru_?" Anya asked, keeping her eyes focussed ahead.

"What do _you_ care?"

"Gone then I assume," Anya said with a note of sympathy in her tone.

They travelled at a casual pace, Anya aware that the latinas injury may not cope under a faster pace of travel. They horse bumped their bodies together as it moved stirring feelings of arousal in Anya. She had to admit that it was not unpleasant at all to have Raven hold on to her as they rode.

"Was Finn your only family? His betrayal must have hurt you greatly then."

"What is this? An _interrogation_. You still trying to prove your ridiculous conspiracy theory that Clarke and I are just here for revenge?"

Anya resisted the urge to shake her head. She no longer believed that Clarke meant Lexa any harm. The girl's concern for Lexa in the bunker had been genuine. Whatever she had thought of Clarke, she knew her feelings for Lexa to be true. That and the constant sexual noises Anya was privy to whenever the pair thought they were alone. It almost made Anya chuckle how frequent they were.

She knew that she had far better hearing than the average person. It meant that Anya very often heard things that she shouldn't and Anya had been in close proximity to the pair for days. If the marks on Clarke's neck and shoulder where anything to go by, Lexa was well aware that they were not being quiet enough to evade Anya's excellent hearing.

Anya had heard Clarke telling Lexa the whole story in the bunker when they thought her unable to hear. She had heard how Finn had cheated, how he'd told Clarke he loved her and had forsaken Raven. Raven sounded as if she'd shown great strength and grace in dealing with the whole situation. Her and Clarke had both been sensible about it but Raven had been the one who had ended up losing the most.

From what Clarke had said, Raven had believed that she owed Finn her life. Clarke had disagreed stating that it was Finn's idea to break the law in the first place and Anya found that she sided with Clarke's argument.

Anya had listened to Clarke telling Lexa the story out of sheer curiosity rather than necessity but it sounded as though Raven had endured a great deal when she had first landed. She had risked her life to find her lover only to find him in love with someone else.

In every story Clarke told involving Raven, the brunette seemed to get the raw deal in the situation and accepted it with minimal complaint. Anya respected that.

"You show great bravery coming out here alone. Foolishness but bravery."

Raven shifted uncomfortably behind her. Her leg was clearly causing her a lot of discomfort now.

"You don't get to all leave me behind and go off on adventures without me."

"That happens a lot doesn't it? You have more value than in just being a warrior. _Skaikru_ values your mind and your capabilities very much. Clarke would be unwise to risk losing you by sending you unnecessarily into danger. Warriors can be replaced but geniuses can not."

"Ha! So you think I'm a genius. Of course you do. I'm crazy smart."

Her spirit made Anya chuckle. She had more tenacity that anyone she had ever met. If only she would be less stubborn and accept what had happened to her. She had seen many warriors with permanant injuries refuse to accept their new limitations. They often pushed themselves too hard to try and keep up. She told them to focus on what other skills they could use to serve their people. It was important that they feel valued and useful.

The feeling of Raven rocking behind her was nicer than she had anticipated. It was not a surprise to her that she was attracted to the fierce little sky person. What surprised her was this protective desire that she had to help her. She cared what happened to her, although she barely knew her.

In truth, she had never met a woman like Raven. She was smaller on average than most women but had a great deal of charisma and charm and refused to let her size stop her from keeping up with everyone else. The girl was not a victim by any means but Anya sensed that there was deep pain in her, associated with her childhood. The sky girl had dodged the question of her parents quickly, likely having practise deflecting the question.

She seemed to use humour and sarcasm as a defence to keep others out. She wanted to be seen as strong and capable, which she was, but her stubborn pride refused to let her admit vulnerability.

"We are here," Anya stated as they stopped outside the hut.

"See. I wasn't that far. I would've made it."

The horses tail flicked and Anya dismounted quickly with no reply. She waited for Raven to dismount but the girl was frozen in her saddle, unmoving and staring ahead. Anya narrowed her eyes.

"You cannot get down can you?"

Raven turned to her, great sadness in her eyes. She shook her head and glanced down at the ground.

"This has happened before when you have ridden a horse, hasn't it?"

"Yes."

The latina's voice was low and quiet. Her lips were pressed together sullenly.

"Here," Anya offered, holding out her arms.

Raven stared at her with suspicion. She clearly still didn't trust Anya.

"I'm sure you don't want to stay up there all day," Anya teased, dryly.

Raven reached forward and fell into Anya's strong arms. Her whole body came with it and Anya lead it to the ground until Raven was standing upright. Anya kept her arms on her shoulder and waist as Raven regained her balance. The girl's head was down and Anya felt a stirring within her at their closeness. She lifted Raven's chin with one hand and leaned in and pressed their lips together. Startled, Raven jerked backwards.

"Hey!"

The girl seemed rattled by the chaste kiss and Anya felt frustrated. Had she misread Raven? She had thought she felt a connection.

"What's wrong? Are you not attracted to women?"

Raven still seemed frazzled, her body language all defensive.

"No! I've never even kissed a girl. I've only been with boys. No."

Anya inhaled, observing her reaction with half-closed eyes. For some reason she didn't fully believe that Raven had no attraction to women at all but clearly pushing her would not help.

"Well. If you change your mind I am willing to be your first. Let's go into the hut. We must work on a disguise for you."

Raven didn't move right away. She had clearly been shocked by the gesture and was still processing. Anya rolled her eyes understanding that Raven now feared being alone with her.

"I will not do anything without your permission Raven Reyes. I am not a savage. If Jaha's followers see you our whole plan is put at risk."

"Fine but keep your lips to yourself."

 _Defence mechanism_ Anya thought, her lips curving up at the corners. _That's what Clarke had told Lexa it was._

 _It's how she copes_ she had heard Clarke say.

Anya initially thought that she would have to have a word with Raven at some point about that bad habit but then a part of her would miss the brunette's humorous demeaner if she did so she decided it was best she left things alone for now.

 

Clarke and Lexa travelled on horseback through the woods, having little to do, inbetween waiting for Octavia to find the supplies and the villagers to discover intel. Lexa was at the front, Clarke's arms wrapped around her waist. Lexa was more comfortable on horseback than anyone she had ever met. The commander travelled frequently in that manner and rarely seemed even sore after travelling for hours on them.

"Did you have horses when you lived here?" Clarke asked, tilting her head sideways.

She was directly on level with Lexa's ears, able to speak in a low voice and be heard clearly by her. Lexa turned her head back towards her, just slightly.

"Yes. No one discovered my nightblood until I injured myself at the age of eight, fighting one of the other village girls. My parents used to take me riding every week. In our culture we teach our children to ride as young as possible."

"Makes sense," said Clarke. "Children are faster learners."

Lexa smiled, her eyes meeting Clarke's as she turned sideways to talk to her.

"You learned fast. You are much better on horseback than when I first taught you."

Clarke remembered that day well. It had been long before she had defeated the mountain. Lexa had presented Clarke with a horse after they'd escaped from the _Pauna_. She had called it a gift for saving her life. Clarke had accepted it reluctantly.

Horses were both beautiful and fascinating to her. Clarke had always dreamed of seeing one when she had been on the Ark. She had imagined riding them and how exciting it would be. When confronted with the reality of it, she had not expected the horse to seem so daunting or so tall. Lexa had clearly noticed her trepidation as she had held the reins awkwardly, not mounting or doing anything.

"You have never ridden," she stated, her green eyes observing Clarke.

"No," Clarke admitted, feeling embarrassed. "There are no horses in space."

Lexa dismissed her guards quietly, Clarke's blue eyes watching her. The authority she had was incredible. She commanded her people with just a raise of her hand. It was remarkable.

Lexa climbed into the saddle in one swift motion, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. She held out a hand to Clarke. "

Climb up behind me," she ordered. "We have little time to teach you but you need to learn."

Clarke had been nervous but the commander's tone was just matter of a fact. She reached out and took Lexa's hand and put one foot in the stirrup as she had seen others do. She propelled herself upwards and Lexa's pulled her up with suprisingly strong arms until Clarke was seated up behind her. She settled in the saddle, shifting until she was comfortable.

"You must hold onto me," Lexa had told her. "Falling from a horse or being thrown can be dangerous. Do _not_ let go."

Clarke had said nothing, feeling very out of her depth. The proximity with the commander raised concerning feelings within her. She ignored them, remembering that they were only working together to save their people, remembering that she was technically the enemy and that their truce was likely temporary. She had no time for fleeting attractions.

Lexa proceeded to give her various instructions and details about the correct way to ride a horse successfully. Clarke listened intently, feeling very high up. It was a strange new sensation. She might have felt frightened had it not been for having Lexa's strong body to hold onto and for Lexa's calm, confident manner in teaching her.

She felt a thrill at the activity, happy to finally be able to fulfill her long held dream of riding a horse.

"I'm going to speed up. Do not let go."

Lexa's tone was clear and commanding. Clarke tightened her arms around her waist, gripping her own wrist to lock herself around Lexa. The horse began to speed up, Clarke's body being shifted by the movement as the horse ran.

"Is this okay?" Lexa asked with a yell as they raced at near full speed.

"It's great," Clarke yelled back, pressing her whole body against Lexa's to keep in place.

The ride was exhilarating. Lexa gave her constant lessons but Clarke only took in half of what she was saying, enjoying the thrill of it all far too much to really absorb the lessons.

When they had finished Lexa dismounted and helped Clarke down. She felt unsteady on the ground, which Lexa assured her was normal in the beginning and she knew that her muscles would be sore later but she didn't care. It was the most fun that she'd had in forever.

"I will appoint you a proper instructor," Lexa stated. "You are a quick learner. I'm sure it will not take you long to learn the basics."

Clarke had just nodded at the time, confused by how she felt around the commander. The feeling of their bodies pressed together had resurrected many  feelings in her from when she had first realised she was attracted to women. She rarely told anyone that she liked women too. They usually just assumed that as she was attracted to men she was straight and she didn't correct them.

It wasn't a big deal in her culture anyway but the feelings still confused her and being attracted to Lexa was a mile past complicated, given their circumstances.

 _No, I will just keep it professional. I can't afford this right now_.

Clarke thought that she'd heard Lexa hitch her breath when Clarke had sat behind her and their bodies had pressed together. She thought she'd heard it again when she'd held on tight and their bodies had bumped a few times. Clarke just shook her head and told herself that she had imagined it. Lexa would not be attracted to her. Lexa could probably have anyone she wanted as the commander so why would she be interested in Clarke.

Who knew if she even liked woman? As a bisexual Clarke always had to try and weigh up whether the women she liked were straight or not. It was just the practical reality of her sexuality though she rarely talked about it with anyone.

 _Oh well. Maybe getting a different teacher will be for the best_ she thought.

 

As Clarke and Lexa rode through the village, Clarke thought about how wrong she had been about their relationship after their first lesson as she clung onto Lexa in a familiar fashion.

Anya had gone to investigate a rumour from one of the villagers of a stranger in the woods. Lexa and Clarke were travelling deep into the _trikru_ woods, Lexa well aware that horse riding was one of Clarke's favourite past times after drawing. For Lexa she suspected it was such a common activity and that it was just normal to her and not particularly exciting anymore though she seemed to enjoy it.

"Where are you taking me?" Clarke asked her.

"Nowhere in particular," she said softly.

Clarke didn't quite believe her. There was a satisfied smile on Lexa's face. She had something planned. She hadn't placed a large saddlebag on the horse for nothing. Clarke already had her suspicions what it might be.

They reached a small opening in the woods, sheltered by trees that contained a tiny pool of water. Lexa stopped the horse, gazing ahead.

"We're here," she said in a light voice.

They both dismounted and Lexa told Clarke to wait. She brought the saddlebag over and took out a large piece of fabric that she placed on the ground. She pulled out several pieces of food; meat, fruit, bread and a bottle of drink made from dark fruit that Clarke knew was not alcoholic but sweet and pleasant. They both sat down next to each other while Lexa placed two goblets down and filled them.

"I thought you said a picnic was careless and that it would attract wild animals."

Clarke quirked her eyebrow. She was surprised Lexa even remembered the conversation they'd had about a picnic when they'd been in Arkadia. It had been a long time they'd talked of it. Lexa ignored her teasing but was smiling broadly.

"It is one if your traditions. It is important to remember traditions."

"Even the one where you can only marry a man?" Clarke teased.

Lexa grinned back, her eyes darting away in amusement.

"Not absurd traditions."

Clarke smiled back in amusement, her lips curved up. She picked up some of the bread and fruit, feeling suddenly hungry at the sight of the meal.

"You have vertical straight lines at the edge of your mouth when you smile," Lexa observed. "It is as if someone has drawn them."

Clarke smiled. Lexa rarely mentioned her appearance but when she did it was always some random observation.

"Yours eyes change colour in different lights," she offered in reply. "Sometimes they're green, sometimes blue, sometimes dark."

Lexa's eyes darted away again, as if embarrassed but a satisfied smile was still spread across her lips.

"And your lips are like pillows, plump and pink. They're beautiful."

Clarke's voice was soft. It was the same tone she used when talking about a something she wanted to draw. Lexa recognised it as the artistic part of her nature. She saw beauty in the patterns of nature. Clarke had an artistic eye and vision that was exceptionally rare.

Lexa blinked as she watch Clarke's focussed gaze as the blonde traced Lexa's lips with her fingertips. Lexa leaned forward to press their lips together and Clarke responded, her own lips mashing back onto Lexa's.

Their noses brushed and Lexa hummed as she tilted her head and caught her lips again. Kissing Clarke was like nothing she had ever experienced. It was sweet and tender but also passionate. Clarke kept her head straight and moved her lips in response, only tilting ever so slightly and slowly. Lexa craned her head much more sideways connecting their lips better, thinking that she could do this forever as it felt so good.

They rested their foreheads together, needing no words as their lips naturally parted for rest. It was peaceful in the clearing, save for some birds calling in the distance. They gazed at each other, not breaking the contact, Lexa's hands seeking out Clarke's.

Clarke inhaled and let out her breath unable to look away from the beauty of the woman in front of her. She loved the feeling of their hands joined. She loved the sensation of their foreheads pressed together and the tingle left on her lips when Lexa's lips had been on hers.

"I used to run away here as a child to be alone," Lexa whispered. "My first kiss was here in this clearing."

"The village girl you had been fighting with?" Clarke asked.

Lexa gave her a small smile as if impressed that she had guessed.

"Yes. I kissed a boy too once but didn't enjoy it."

Clarke was dying to lean forward and kiss her again but wanted to explain to Lexa, so that she understood her different experiences.

"I've always been attracted to both though I didn't always understand it. I tend to prefer women but it doesn't matter. It's the person I'm attracted to."

Lexa gave a slight nod of understanding.

"It has never bothered me. I would be jealous of anyone that kissed you," Lexa raised an eyebrow, "besides me."

Clarke couldn't resist now and leaned forward and kissed her again, pushing her back down onto the blanket. She was on top of Lexa now, on the ground as they kissed.

They could take it further. They had the time but Clarke didn't want to stop. She enjoyed taking her time to appreciate Lexa. She enjoyed kissing her slowly and gently and the love that they shared. Lexa's hands were in her hair. They were back in their more usual position, with Clarke on top. Clarke felt a strong desire to care for her, a deep rooted protectiveness coming over her.

It was similar to the first time when she had seen Lexa more vulnerable than she had ever seen her before and it had filled her with this instinct to be gentle but to lead her also. Clarke had never felt that with anyone else. She had always hidden the desire to be sexually dominant. Men usually naturally expected her to fulfil traditionally expected roles even those who had no problem with strong women.

Even Niylah had jostled for control, Clarke giving it to her because she had not cared and had just needed comfort and relief, however she got it. Lexa so often seemed to understand and to enjoy letting Clarke be the more aggressive one. It was why their relationship worked so well. Clarke never felt like she was hiding or playing an expected role, based upon her gender. She could just be herself. Whether she needed to be dominant or submissive, Lexa obliged and Clarke did the same for her when she needed it.

Kissing more hungrily now, Lexa was undressing Clarke slowly. Clarke had been so caught up that she had barely noticed the change. The sudden speeding up of their kiss, spurred Clarke on and began to undress her too, not even caring where they where, when Lexa's body was underneath her. Lexa still wore the simple villager outfit that made her look more submissive than usual. It spurred Clarke's hunger and she threw the top to the side, thrilled when she could run her hands along the powerful muscles there.

If Clarke was honest with herself, she was highly attracted to powerful women. It thrilled her the idea that the commander of thirteen clans could be so powerful and yet so vulnerable beneath her. She loved fierce, strong, intelligent women. Lexa's intelligence had been one of the first traits that had attracted Clarke to her.

Lexa's hands were on her thighs. She was not waiting for Clarke to stop daydreaming about her. Their lips stayed connected, moving together as Lexa's hands moved inbetween Clarke's thighs. Clarke shuddered as she felt Lexa's fingers slipping inside her underwear to touch her.

She pressed herself tighter against Lexa and carried on kissing her, never wanting to break the contact. Clarke then shifted to kissing Lexa's neck, groaning into the skin  there as she felt Lexa's fingers playing with her.

She rained slow intense kisses along her lover's neck and under her jaw as Lexa's head tilted back, Clarke moving to kiss along and then down Lexa's body. She shifted down and left kisses on her shoulders and collarbone and down the front of Lexa's chest. She moved down to her breast and took it in her mouth, sucking the nipple softly with gentle moans. Lexa's hand stopped moving as if the sensation had shocked her into stillness.

Clarke felt Lexa's whole body stiffen as she sucked, moving across to the other breast to do the same, spending equal time on the sensitive bud there. When her hands grazed past Lexa's lower abdomen to touch the toned muscles there, Lexa's body spasmed from her touch, her skin incredibly sensitive.

Clarke moved her hands down further wanting to please her, wanting to tease more from her. She dipped her fingers inside Lexa and rubbed her forefingers across her clitoris making circular motions and then rubbing downwards, feeling the swell of her arousal against her fingers.

Lexa had been very quiet, focussed on Clarke's kisses and touches but now she inhaled sharply and Clarke continued, pressing kisses on her as she touched her, alternating between her lips and her fingers on her clitoris as she sucked inbetween her legs in her most sensitive places. She stayed focussed on this region, knowing from her biology lessons on the ark that this was where the nerves where and where most arousal occured for women.

She played and teased and kissed and sucked upon it until Lexa's body began to jerk repeatedly and Clarke teased out one orgasm and then another and another until she thought Lexa could take no more.

Lexa cried out and Clarke placed her hands on her stomach, keeping her from thrashing too much as she rode it out. When she was spent she moaned softly, almost in a whine and Clarke felt a surge of satisfaction that she had brought Lexa such pleasure.

Clarke climbed up over her and brought their lips into a kiss. Lexa was still struggling, breathing heavily. Her green eyes looked dark under the shade of the nearby trees, the pool glistening just beyond them in the sunlight.

Clarke placed a gentle but deep kiss onto her lips in loving reminder of their connection. She brushed Lexa's hair back as they stared at each other, glacing into each other eyes, down to their lips and then back to their eyes. Clarke couldn't imagine it ever being like this with anyone other than Lexa.

"What did I do to deserve this?" Lexa asked.

Lexa the girl was asking, not Lexa the commander. Clarke always knew the difference. She loved them both. Clarke brushed back her hair. She was propped up by one arm, resting her chin on her hand.

Clarke looked down at Lexa's lips and back to her eyes with a smile. She knew why Lexa was asking. She had been taught that she didn't deserve personal happiness, that being commander was all that mattered.

"Everything," Clarke replied.

Clarke watched her lip falter adorably, gazing at the forest green eyes staring back at her lovingly. She felt so happy, her eyes half-closed as she sleepily leaned down to press another kiss onto her lover's lips.

"Everything," she repeated with a whisper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kom skaikru - from the sky clan/people  
> Pauna - mutated gorilla  
> Trikru - tree clan


	15. Curious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke talks to Raven about her confusion and Anya and Raven share a room for night. Clarke spends some time drawing and Lexa gets a warning about Jaha.

"Where the _hell_ have you been? I've been waiting here for hours."

Clarke had not expected to find Raven in the hut when she returned. She was dressed as a grounder, her hair braided.

"What are you doing here?" Clarke asked in surprise.

"Looking for you of course. You didn't think I would let you run off and have all the fun did you?"

Clarke sighed. This would make things so much trickier.

"I guess not."

Lexa walked into the hut suddenly. Raven looked her up and down in her modest outfit and headscarf and Lexa's eyes searched Clarke's for a response.

"She followed us here," Clarke told her.

Lexa tilted her head, clearly not impressed with the new addition to their plan.

"Don't worry," Clarke stated quickly, sensing Lexa's concern. "She can stay here in the hut in Anya's room. Jaha will not see her. We'll say that she's a handmaiden."

"I will talk to Anya," Lexa replied with annoyance. 

Lexa glared at Raven but nodded. She touched Clarke's shoulder and then headed for Anya's room to discuss Raven's appearance.

Once they were alone in the room, Clarke sat down at the table across from Raven. Her friend seemed particularly agitation for some reason, though Clarke wasn't quite sure why.

"You can't be seen by Jaha," Clarke told her. "We already have Octavia and the others undercover. If there are too many he won't believe it and he'll get suspicious."

Raven's lips were curved into a sneer. Clarke knew that she hated being left out but her agitated seemed to be about something more.

"What's wrong?" Clarke asked.

"Nothing. Why would something be wrong?"

Clarke knew that expression Raven wore. She wore it when she was worried about something.

"Raven..."

"Fine," she said, glancing around and leaning forward.

Clarke leaned closer in response.

"Anya tried to kiss me," she said in a low voice.

"And..?"

Raven's eyes widened as if she had been expecting Clarke to be more shocked.

"No. She really tried to kiss me. She hit on me."

Clarke just observed her calmly not sure why Raven seemed so affected by it.

"Did you kiss her back?"

"No! I've never- I'm into men."

"So am I," Clarke said with a raised eyebrow. "That doesn't mean you can't like Anya."

Raven glanced behind her, as if expecting Anya to appear behind them without warning.

"I've never been into girls," she admitted.

Clarke kept Raven's gaze watching the girl struggle with something.

"Are you into girls _now_?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I've only been with Finn and Wick... and Bellamy."

Clarke's eyes flickered.

"Wait. _Bellamy_?"

"After I broke up with Finn. Just once. I was mad," Raven told her.

Clarke nodded in understanding. She leaned in closer to Raven, her head raised.

"You know, it's okay if you do like her," Clarke offered.

Raven, usually so cocky, seemed vulnerable and unsure of herself all of a sudden.

"Is it different with women?" she asked.

Clarke blinked but the question did not faze her.

"Each person is different but yeah I guess so. It feels more intimate."

Raven seemed to be thinking about it.Clarke sensed her concern about her new feelings.

"I don't know Anya very well but she seems a good person," Clarke continued. "She's a little untrusting but she's loyal. If you like her, then what's the problem? You deserve to be happy."

"I don't have any experience with women griff. I'm not a womaniser like you."

Clarke smiled at her teasing, Raven unaware of just why Clarke felt so confident about that statement in that moment. Her mind wandered back to the picnic and to Lexa.

"I'm sure Anya will not mind. Just think about it. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. It's your life."

Raven smiled gratefully.

"Maybe you can teach me a few pointers griff. Not that I'll need it."

 _Back to her cocky self_ Clarke thought. _That's a good sign._

"Well, you're sharing a room with her while we are here so..."

Raven looked a little alarmed now.

"You were serious about that?"

Clarke shook her head.

"Where else are you going to sleep? The bath tub?"

"The bath tub sounds real good about now."

 _She finds it hard to open up to people_ Clarke thought. _She doesn't seem like the type to have flings. Maybe that's why she's holding back._

"It doesn't have to mean anything," Clarke told her. "We all need someone sometimes."

"Like Niylah," Raven teased, trying to deflect from the topic.

"I guess so," she replied, unfazed. "Just think about it."

 

That night Raven walked into the room to find Anya dozing under the covers, her eyes half-closed.

"Alright. So how is this gonna work? Who's taking the floor?"

Anya opened her eyes.

"The bed is big enough for two people."

Raven pressed her lips together defiantly.

"I don't think so."

Anya rolled her eyes.

"I'm not going to touch you. You have made your feelings clear. Get in the bed."

Raven began to undress and Anya turned over onto her side, facing away from her. She got under the covers, still wearing a vest top and underwear and shifted as far away from Anya as possible.

" _Skaikru_ are strange," she murmoured. "Clarke is not so prudish."

"You heard them too? I was trying to block it out."

Anya shifted onto her back watching Raven as she spoke.

"Be thankful you are not their guard. They have had baths like that several times this week."

Raven scoffed.

"Who knew the princess was such a pro with the ladies?"

Anya watched her curiously.

"So you are okay talking about Clarke with women but not yourself."

"I'm not-".

Anya rolled her eyes again.

"You've _said_ ," she replied dryly.

Anya closed her eyes, turning her head slightly away.

"How many women have you been with?" Raven asked.

Anya's eyes opened and a confident smirk spread across her lips. She closed them again knowing that Raven was watching her. The brunette's voice was full of uncertainty but she was curious.

"A few."

"A few or a lot?"

"Enough," Anya just replied. "That's all you need to know. Now go to sleep."

Raven quietened but Anya could sense that she had more questions.

"I would rock your world and you know it," Raven murmoured to herself.

Anya opened her eyes again.

"You could if you didn't keep pretending that you are not interested."

Anya felt a dip in the bed as Raven appeared above her. The brunette straddled her with a grin.

"Maybe I'm a little interested."

Anya smirked at her.

"You talk a lot but I've yet to see the proof of your words sky girl."

"You want proof! I'll show you proof."

Raven threw herself at Anya, kissing her furiously. Anya gripped the brunette against her and flipped them suddenly, careful to avoid Raven's injury as she did. She pinned the brunette down easily and brown eyes full of surprise and arousal stared back up at her.

"I am your first woman yes?" Anya asked.

Raven nodded with a wide grin.

"Then I have much to teach you," Anya stated. "Tell me now if you want to change your mind."

"Hell no," Raven joked.

"Good," Anya replied. "Let's begin your first lesson."

 

Clarke sat on the sofa sketching the pool with steady, soft hands. She drew trees and a picnic blanket and two figures locked in an embrace on the fabric, with food scattered around them. She wanted to commit it to memory with her art, to mark it out in her journey as a key part of their story.

Lexa was dozing on her shoulder, the intense heat of the day tiring them both. Clarke felt immensly happy to have her there. When she began to stir, Clarke's eyes flickered up to her. She felt Lexa's body jerk a couple of times and heard her whimper and knew what was coming. Lexa jumped and awoke suddenly with a cry. Clarke put down her artwork and put her hands on Lexa's knee immediately. She watched as Lexa's eyes refocussed and she regained an understanding of her surroundings.

"What did you see?"

" _Praimheda_. I saw her death. The people wouldn't listen. They burned her."

Clarke leaned forward and wrapped one arm around her.

"Hey. It's okay. It's just a memory from the flame."

"No. She is warning me. Jaha cannot be allowed to continue his rebellion. If we do not stop him here, there will be a great war and many lives will be lost."

Clarke blinked twice. She knew that Lexa believed the memories to be warnings. Many times she had woken from these nightmares. Clarke wasn't sure what she believed but sometimes she wished she could just remove the damn flame altogether so that Lexa didn't have to experience the commanders deaths again and again. It worried her the thought that Madi might one day have this burden.

"We _will_ stop him," Clarke said softly. "We're here to stop him. Our plan will _work_."

Lexa put her head in her hands and ran her hands back over her head as if trying to regain her composure. Clarke rubbed her knee and put one arm around her, drawing her closer.

"It'll be fine," she said reassuringly. "We'll fix it."

Lexa accepted her comfort willingly and sighed as she leaned her head onto Clarke's shoulder again.

"It is a warning," she said. "Jaha is more dangerous than we anticipated."

Clarke hummed a little tune to ease Lexa, some distant unknown song that Lexa had never heard of. Lexa turned her head at the sound. She had never heard Clarke sing and her voice was sweet and graceful. Lexa felt her troubles drifting away at the sound,  though she would not forget the warning she was given. She closed her eyes and let Clarke's song fill her with comfort. It was the sweetest voice she had ever heard.

Raven and Anya suddenly burst into the room and the couple opened their eyes.

"Are we interrupting Griff?" Raven asked with a grin. "We can leave again."

"It's fine Raven," Clarke replied, glancing up at her.

Something about Raven's manner caught Clarke's attention. She seemed in a phenomenally good mood and there was a weird vibe between her and Anya. Clarke noticed a shared look between then and a grin at the corner of Raven's mouth. She raised her eyebrows in slight surprise but thought it best she say nothing while Raven and Anya figured out whatever the hell it was they had between them.

"So what's plan for today," Raven asked, picking up an apple and throwing it at Clarke.

Clarke caught it and placed it down on her art pad.

"Nothing much. We are still waiting for Octavia. We can't move forward until we know where the supplies are."

Almost as if on cue, Octavia burst into the house like a storm. Blood ran down one side of her head and she was bruised as if she'd been fighting.

"We have a problem," she rasped, out of breath.

Lexa gave Clarke an 'I told you so' look.

"It's Murphy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skaikru - sky clan  
> Praimheda - first commander (Becca)


	16. Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa meets someone she has not seen since childhood who tells her more of her family while Anya, Octavia and Clarke set out to rescue Murphy.

"They're gonna punish him."

"Slow down Octavia. What happened?"

Octavia paced the room as the other women watched. She had been agitated from the moment she'd entered the hut.

"He was searching for the supplies with Emori. Someone caught them and he took the blame so they're going to put him in some old _trikru_ ceremony to punish him. I fought and killed one of the guards to try and get to him but I couldn't risk getting seen."

"They'll take his hands," Lexa said plainly. "It was an old law that I removed many years ago. Jaha must be trying to resurrect it."

"We have to get Murphy out before that happens!" Octavia urged.

Lexa was standing up straight, back in full commander mode, despite her plain clothes.

"Anya. Go with Octavia and find out where he is being held. The punishment will likely be carried our tonight. You can release him under cover of darkness."

"I'm coming too," Clarke said.

Lexa opened her mouth to start to protest but Clarke shot her a look. He was one of her people. She knew that Clarke wouldn't stay behind while he was in danger. Lexa closed her mouth, frustrated but keeping her feelings hidden. The warning from Becca still worried her.

She watched Clarke wrap the scarf around her neck. Her short hair was beginning to grow, not reaching her shoulders yet but growing past her chin now. It was strange to see her with red hair but the disguise worked. It had kept her hidden for months after Mount Weather and she did blend in much better without wearing a visible beacon of blonde everywhere she went.

"Let's go get Murphy," Clarke urged, striding ahead.

Everyone except Raven followed and Lexa found herself alone with the brunette for first time ever. Lexa stayed on her feet, ruminating over the situation. She didn't like it one bit.

 

  
A few hours later and Clarke had not returned. Raven sat at the table, playing with some small device that she was building, a screwdriver in one hand. She seemed focussed entirely on the task.

"You'll wear a hole in the floor doing that. Clarke will be fine."

Lexa gave her a glare. She was not in the mood for humour. Dark thoughts and images still clouded her mind from the nightmare. Experiencing Becca's death was one of the most unpleasant of the flame's memories. She only saw it when Becca's spirit was really trying to get her attention.

"You really worry about her when she's out there don't you?"

Lexa ignored her and just continued to pace. The last time she had been like this had been after Pike, when Clarke had sneaked into Arkadia. All Lexa had been able to do was wait for her, Indra assuming that she was worrying about the impending war, which was true also.

She hadn't let her people see that she had a gnawing fear inside her when Clarke was rushing headlong into danger. She couldn't have told them that she was secretly in love with her _skaikru_ ambassador and dreaded every moment that she left the safety of her side.

She knew that _she_ would protect Clarke no matter what. She didn't always trust others to do the same. This was one of the few times that Lexa felt like a child again. She felt helpless waiting for Clarke and as a warrior she rarely ever felt helpless and disliked it a great deal.

 _At least Anya is with her_ she thought, turning back on her heel.

The thought gave her comfort.

There was a soft knock at the door and the girls both froze. Lexa motioned for Raven to cover the device she was working with and then opened it and found a familiar villager in front of her.

"Niro?" she said in disbelief.

The man was in his later years now, with a grey breard and flecks of grey in his hair. His steady brown eyes reflected back at her. He was the same height as her. She remembered him being much taller than he seemed now.

Lexa invited him in and shot a look at Raven. The brunette grabbed the device, her project now hidden by the cloth, and took it into the bedroom out of sight, her head lowered.

"When you were taken for the conclave I just knew that you would become the commander," he said in a deep voice. "You were always the best warrior for your age. No child in the village could ever best you."

Lexa wasn't quite sure how to respond. She had not seen this man since she was a child though he was extremely familiar to her. He had been a close friend of her parents, visiting their hut often when she was a child. He was the trader in the village, a friendly and jovial man with a deep loyalty to his clan and his village, who had travelled for new supplies and had always brought back strange, exciting objects and bizarre new tales.

"We are here to stop Jaha," Lexa started, jumping straight to business. "We will return your village to your people soon and I promise you he will be dealt with."

Niro chuckled.

"I know you will _heda_. Everyone here has faith in your leadership. We had have heard the tales of your victories. The one they call Jaha did not realise this was your home village. He expected us to join him but no one would follow him."

Lexa raised her head, feeling a swell of pride.

"Many were suprised to hear of your relationship with _Wanheda_ but not I," he teased. "I still remember how you used to fight all the time with Nala. You threatened any boy who dared get close and steal her attention from you."

Lexa felt a smile forming. She had forgotten how protective she had been of her childhood friend, though they had fought so much.

"You use to tell me that her hair was like sunshine. Isn't _Wanheda_ a blonde too?"

Lexa did smile now. That part she hadn't forgotten.

"Yes," she replied.

Niro laughed and Lexa felt a great sense of nostalgia in his presence but something tugged at her. There was an unresolved question that she had never had the opportunity to gain an answer for between them.

"What happened to them?" she asked. "I know that they were taken by the mountain and killed."

Niro's eyes darkened. He shook his head.

"They moved away from here several years after you were taken. They took it hard, losing you. They moved to _Louwoda Klin_ to be near your mother's sister."

Lexa's head snapped up, her eyes on him.

"Shadow Valley? My mother had a sister?"

"Yes," he told her. "With the new baby coming, your mother wanted to be closer to her family. When you parents were taken by the mountain men, your aunt took in the baby."

Lexa felt all the air go out of her lungs.

"My mother was pregnant?" she asked,  barely able to get the words out.

She had always thought herself an only child. When she had checked on what had happened to her parents no one told her anything about more children.

"She had a daughter. The girl resembled you a little."

_This cannot be coincidence. It is likely coincidence._

Lexa tried to convince herself but her heart was pounding. For all her training she had thought all her family dead long ago and the thought some may have survived filled her head with possibilities. She could not have this. She was the commander. She could not long for more family. She already had a family, Clarke and Madi. To want more was selfish.

"Where are they now?"

Niro lowered his head in sadness.

"Most of the Shadow Valley Clan was wiped out by Ontari. Some may have escaped but there was only one child who was known to survive. I do not know more than that."

Lexa's heart was still pounding. It couldn't be possible. It was too unlikely.

"Do you - do you know my sister's name?"

"She was named Madi," he said with certainty. "When I visited them before they were taken, she was barely two season old. She looked a little like you except she had gray eyes like your mother's sister and her hair was darker."

Lexa was fixed to the spot, her heart beating loudly in her chest. How had this been kept from her? Had she known, she would have protected Madi better. She would have sent trusted warriors to the village to train her and keep her safe. She would have protected her.

_She is my blood. She is my sister. She is-  
_

Lexa inhaled a deep breath. It had clearly been fate that Madi had come to be discovered by Ontari and thus rescued by Lexa's own warriors.

"Thank you Niro," she said, still staring ahead in shock. "I must go but I am-" Lexa turned back to him, meeting his gaze. "I am glad you visited me here. Once this is over the village's loyalty will be rewarded as will yours. You have my word."

Niro nodded, a sense of pride visible in his demeaner. He had lived longer than most of her people did, likely because of his quick wits and knack for trading well.

Lexa watched him leave the hut and then let out a deep breath, placing both hands on the table. She lowered her head, releasing the pent up emotion now that there was no one to see her lose her composure.

A million thoughts raced through her mind about Madi and her parents. She had never expected to see or hear from any of her family again. She had been cut away from all of that so young that it had all seemed a distant memory, though she had always secretly wished things were different.

"What was that about?"

Lexa raised her head. Raven lingered in the doorway. The commander straightened herself, meeting the girl's eyes.

"Nothing," she replied, holding eye contact with confidence. "He merely wanted to meet his _heda_. It is a common occurence."

Raven frowned and Lexa wasn't quite sure that she believed the lie but she maintained her sense of composure. Lexa knew that Raven would see little reason for her to lie in this situation and would ignore her doubts if Lexa held her ground under the scrutiny of her gaze. It was a trick she knew well when lying. Sometimes commanders had to conceal the truth and just sounding confident often caused opponents to doubt their own opinions.

"I'm making lunch since I'm supposed to be your handmaid and all. Did you want some?"

"Yes," Lexa replied plainly. "It's _sisgifa_. You might want to have Anya teach you some of our language if you are to blend in better."

Raven frowned as if a little insulted. Lexa noticed that sky crew members often took her advice for insults instead of how she intended. In her own culture, to receive advice was seen as honourable. It meant that the person cared if you live or die.

Clarke had often been more open to her advice but had taken offence to it to on occassion. When Lexa had told her during their battle with the _Pauna_ that she must make hard choices, she had been angered by the advice and had challenged Lexa for questioning her abilities. It was in that moment and during their discussion about how their leaders were chosen that Lexa had really began to see that their cultures varied quite a bit, even in simple conservational exchanges.

The offering of advice seemed to be a particular distinct cultural difference between their cultures. _Skaikru_ saw it as criticism while her people accepted it as wisdom from those with more experience and considered its merits. She realised that Raven did not yet understand this and watched as she went back into the other room a little annoyed at Lexa.

Lexa bit her bottom lip thinking desperately about the situation with Madi. Should she tell her? Should she tell Clarke? Would it even make a difference for Madi to know, given that she seemed to believe her aunt and uncle to be her parents. Did they ever tell her they weren't her true parents?

Lexa ruminated over the best course of action for Madi in this situation. Telling her for Lexa's own sake and desire to have a younger sister would be selfish if it brought her unnecessary pain. Lexa would not do that if it hurt her.

 _I need to talk to Clarke_ she thought suddenly.

Lexa rarely needed advice. She trusted herself to find the right choice but the feelings stirring in her were powerful and confusing and Clarke always seemed to know how to unravel them and to help her to understand them in a way that none of her other advisors ever did. She desperately wished Clarke would hurry back though she felt that she was being selfish in wanting that too so she sat down cross-legged on the floor and meditated, trying to gain some perspective in the midst of the storm in her  heart.

  
Clarke had the scarf wrapped across her face, covering all but her eyes. It was not entirely uncommon for _trikru_ grounders to do the same when travelling, though she feared it looked a little odd in the village so she had kept behind Anya and Octavia, lowering her head and keeping well out of Jaha's eyeline.

The leader stood in the centre of the village talking to some of his people as if he wasn't the cause of all of this trouble. Bellamy was there talking to him and from their body language, Jaha had no suspicion that Bellamy was working as a spy in his camp.

She saw Echo standing next to Bellamy, fairly close and comfortable and her eyes narrowed. Bellamy she trusted but Echo could complicate things. She would have to speak to him later about that. Echo had been allied with Nia and _azgeda_ and had betrayed them before for her own people, though Clarke couldn't really hold it against her. She was suprised Bellamy had forgiven her so soon after Gina but she had forgiven Lexa for Mount Weather so she couldn't criticise him too much.

She suddenly spotted Niylah trading with someone in the corner of her eye, her long blonde hair standing out. The woman was clearly pressing for information but in that quiet, non-threatening way that she always did. She was effective at this, Niylah, because no one ever saw her as a threat. She naturally inspired trust with her caring nature.

When she saw her, Clarke felt a sudden wish that Niylah would find someone who loved her too. She felt that the woman deserved to be cared for even if Clarke wasn't the one to do it.

She was so often in the background being ignored for her contributions. It concerned Clarke that she seemed so ignored. Clarke turned away quickly, avoiding the protective impulse knowing that she would never risk what she had with Lexa for anyone, not even Niylah. Niylah's life was none of her business.

 

Anya, Clarke and Octavia hid outside the hut where Murphy was being kept until the sky began to darken. Octavia picked the lock, a skill she had likely picked up from Monty, and they crept inside, Anya taking down the guard silently with a lethal blow. Clarke met her eyes, disapproving of her violence but Anya just told stared back.

"He would have warned Jaha when he woke," she stated. "We will hide the body. It will give Murphy more time to escape."

Clarke nodded silently. She didn't like it but she knew that Anya was right. The longer it took them to realise Murphy was gone, the longer his headstart would be on Jaha's men.

Murphy was bound and gagged to a chair and eyes lit up with hope when he saw them. Octavia rushed to untie him, removing the gag from his mouth.

"You took your sweet time rescuing me. Emori?"

"She's in the woods, waiting for you to flee," Octavia told him. "Anya and Clarke will lead the way. I can't be seen here or my cover will be blown."

"Understood."

Murphy got to his feet as soon as he was untied and Anya dragged the body of the guard out with them, dragging it far out into the high grasses and under a bush until it was well out of sight.

"Come to the hut tomorrow," Clarke told Octavia grabbing her arm before she left. "We'll talk about what comes next then. For tonight, stay close to Niylah and hide out. We'll need to get a message to Bellamy without raising suspicion but we'll worry about that tomorrow."

Octavia nodded and grabbed her arm in the grounder farewell.

"Tomorrow," she just said.

"Tomorrow," Octavia replied.

Clarke watched her spin around and leave and then she turned back to Anya and Murphy to follow them up the steep hill.

The walk was fairly long. Emori apparently liked to keep her distance whenever there was trouble nearby. She had decided to wait pretty far away.

"How's the girlfriend?" Murphy teased, walking alongside Clarke. "Didn't think you would have the time to come and rescue me. Thought you'd be too busy playing at being the perfect power couple."

"Leader's do not have time to play," Anya scoffed, clearly insulted by his mocking of Lexa.

"Geez. Why do so few grounders have an actual sense of humour? Emori isn't this serious. Lighten up."

"Just keep walking," Clarke said. "We need to get back to Lexa and Raven before anyone notices us."

Murphy's smile faded replaced by an expression of anger and self-loathing.

"Raven's here too? Didn't think she'd be able to keep up these days."

He used sarcasm as a defence mechanism, Clarke knew this, but anger rose within her at the insinuation. Raven was practically her best friend.

"And whose fault is that?" she snapped back, without thinking.

Anya stopped sharply behind them and Murphy and Clarke spun their heads around to her. Anya strode up to Murphy, stepping into his space in a terrifyingly intimidating manner. She sneered and stared into his eyes as if she wanted to murder him.

"Got a problem?" he asked defiantly, clearly scared but not wanting to admit it.

"This puny boy shot Raven?" Anya asked with distaste.

Clarke swallowed. This couldn't end well for Murphy if she didn't intervene immediately.

"Yes. He never intended to hurt her directly. He was shooting blindly at the floor and she was underneath."

Anya seemed even more angry at the notion that he had not faced Raven directly in combat.

"So he shot at her like a coward instead of fighting her like a warrior!" she snapped.

"Anya. We don't have time for this. We all know what Murphy did was wrong but he's one of my people and we handle things differenly in _skaikru_. He's been -"

Clarke did not want to say forgiven because she would never completely forgive him for hurting her friend and Raven certainly wouldn't.

"We've moved past it," was all she could say.

It sound feeble even to Clarke but it was the best she could do.

"She lives with it permanantly. Maybe he should have to suffer the same."

Murphy appeared nervous now and Clarke didn't blame him. Anya could be scary when she wanted to be. She could kill him before he could blink if she wanted.

"We can talk about this later. Right now we have to follow the plan. Emori is just ahead."

Murphy gave her a look, knowing that she was trying to save him. She had argued mercy for him before. She had been the only one who had spoken against hanging him when Bellamy and the 100 had wanted to murder him. Revenge for that act was the reason Murphy had gone after Bellamy and had shot at Raven in the first place. She knew that he had not forgotten that she spoke up for his life and suspected that was why he gave her less of a hard time than he did the others, though he was still vocal when he disagreed with her.

"Fine," said Anya. "But harm Raven again and you will not live to see another sunrise. I promise you that."

"Noted," Murphy replied dryly.

"Let's go," Clarke urged, walking ahead of them both to push up the hill faster.

 _Anya wants to kill Murphy for Raven. Anya and Raven are sleeping together. Bellamy seems to like Echo. Jaha wants to kill us all if we don't follow him and is holding Lexa's home village to ransom. Lexa is acting all soft and talking about families and stuff. Could this_ _get anymore complicated?_ she thought in frustration. _Thank God we never let him get to that A.I at least._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trikru - Tree clan  
> Louwoda Klin - Shadow Valley/Low water clean.  
> Skaikru - Sky clan/people  
> Heda - Commander  
> Wanheda - Commander of death  
> Pauna - Mutated gorilla  
> Azgeda - Ice nation
> 
> * Sisgifa (new term/NT) - Handmaid/handmaiden
> 
> I created this from 'sis au' meaning assist/help for and 'gifa in' meaning 'to care for/to give a fuck'. Trigedasleng is rarely specifically gendered so although sky crew might say handmaiden or servant I theorised that they would have a more gender neutral term, that was more about the role itself.


	17. Deserving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa talks to Clarke about her family and Clarke finds herself needing to rest. Raven and Anya gamble at poker and Lexa opens up to Clarke about Costia. 
> 
> A lot of fluff in this chapter.

When Clarke returned to the hut she was fatigued more than usual. Her body ached from climbing the steep hill and she felt tired after having to listen to Anya and Murphy make digs at each other all the way up the hill and keep them from killing each other.

_Or rather Anya from killing Murphy._

Anya had challenged her all the way back down about her defence of Murphy and Clarke felt drained emotionally and mentally.

When she found Lexa calmly meditating on the floor of her bedroom, she knew something was wrong. Lexa only did this when she needed to calm herself or was filled with worries. She knew Lexa worried for her safety but she would have been eased by the knowledge of Anya's presence so what had she missed?

"Lexa?" 

"You're back," Lexa replied, opening her eyes but staring ahead. "Raven seemed annoyed by me meditating in the other room while she ate so I came in here."

Clarke glanced down at her.

"It's your hut. You can meditate where you want."

"I was not in the mood to argue with her," Lexa admitted. " _Skaikru_ love to challenge every command. It can be tiring."

Clarke gave her a hint of a smile.

"I can't argue with that."

Lexa smiled back in amusement, as if all of her worries had faded the moment Clarke had returned. Then she got to her feet and she looked nervous and pensive. Clarke's eyes darkened as she sensed the hesitation in the woman stood in front of her.

"I met a man from my childhood today. Niro. He knew my parents."

Concern clouded Clarke's gaze. She had known that Lexa was bothered by something. From the expression her lover wore right in that moment, it was something important.

"They had another child," Lexa said, taking in a breath.

She tilted her head sideways. This was the most nervous Clarke had seen her since she had asked her to stay in Polis before the blockade started.

"I have a younger sister. She's a nightblood."

"Who is it?" Clarke asked, leaning forward with a frown. "Can we find her and bring her to Polis?"

Lexa paused before speaking.

"We already have. It's Madi."

Lexa's voice was low, her eyes focussed on Clarke's as if to gauge her every reaction. Clarke froze at the words, completely stunned.

"I don't understand. How-? Madi's parents were killed by Ontari, yours in the mountain..."

Lexa watched Clarke's blue eyes fill with confusion as she tried to work out how it was possible, her own head tilted back to observe her.

"Madi's your _sister_? How is this possible?"

Clarke seemed to struggle with it as much as Lexa had at first.

"My parents moved to the valley a few years after I was taken. Niro told me that my mother fell pregnant and that the child was called Madi. My mother's sister took in the child and raised it with her _houmon_ when the mountain men killed my parents."

Clarke's eyes refocussed as she thought it through.

"That's why they hid her, because they'd already taken you. Being a nightblood _could_ occur more frequently in certain families."

"Do you understand what this means?" Lexa asked her with a nod.

A pair of fierce blue eyes met hers.

" _No one_ can know. She would be an immediate target. She's a target already as a nightblood but as the commander's sister..."

"And if she wins the conclave and people know some will claim it's favouritism and it will create more unrest."

Clarke nodded, her eyes narrowed.

"Should we tell her?" she asked, raising her head up and meeting Lexa's eyes again. "She has a right to know."

"Tell her that the parents she lost were not really her parents? That she was _lied_ to for years? I don't know."

Clarke had never heard Lexa admit that. She never showed indecision but in truth, Clarke wasn't sure herself what was best here. She just wanted to protect Madi whatever choice they made.

"We have time to think about it. We don't have to decide right _now_. For now, we say nothing to anyone, not even our friends."

"Agreed," said Lexa with determination.

They were both quiet for a moment, Clarke still reeling from the revelation.

"I can't believe it," she admitted, raising her eyebrows as she glanced away. "We were planning to adopt her but she's already family."

She noticed Lexa stiffen at the word and locked eyes with her.

"Hey," she said softly, her hands coming up to rub Lexa's shoulders. "It'll be okay. We'll protect her. I know that this must be - confusing for you. I'm here."

Lexa blinked so very relieved not to be alone in that moment.

"We'll deal with this together," Clarke said in a soothing tone.

"I know we will," Lexa said, as much to herself as to Clarke.

She was trying to sound self assured but Clarke knew her too well. Lexa was worried. Clarke just nodded back, her lips pressed together, pouting slightly as she raised her chin.

She ran her fingers along Lexa's jaw, studying her lips and then looking back up to her eyes. Lexa gazed at her, unable to move from her undivided attention. This had shaken her more than she had ever expected. It had been so unexpected. Lexa could normally deal with the unexpected but this...

"You didn't tell me that you could sing so well," Lexa stated, referring to hearing Clarke's humming for the first time that morning.

Clarke seemed unfazed by the compliment, as if it was just a matter of fact that she could sing. She still caressed Lexa's jawline softly, tracing the lines with her thumb and and fingertips.

"I liked it," Lexa told her in a low voice.

They were very close now. Clarke started to hum in response, singing a little. She never sang for anyone. She had rarely done the activity for years. It was a memory she had associated with her mother.

Clarke had seen her mother do it once when she was with a seriously ill patient. The man had been in distress and Clarke had sneaked in to see her at work, far too young to witness such things. Her mother's humming had eased the man before he passed away and it had stayed in her memory, the effect a little softness could have on someone's suffering. Her mother had been horrified when she realised Clarke had witnessed his death and they'd had a long talk about her sneaking into places without an adult.

Her mother had hummed her to sleep many times as a child with the same song. It was a song she didn't know the words to but the tune remained deep in her soul. She had often used it as a comfort in private moments but after her dad had been floated, she had stopped humming it altogether.

She hadn't hummed it again until that day she'd had to kill a man with radiation burns. It had been the only thing she could think of at the time to ease him.

Clarke put her arms around Lexa and hummed it louder and felt the commander relax completely in her arms, bringing her arms around Clarke's waist. How long they stayed like that they didn't know or care. Clarke only cared that Lexa needed it and she needed to take care of Lexa. She needed this too after how tired she was from dealing with Murphy and Anya.

She felt her head falling slowly onto Lexa's shoulder and her hum became quieter as she closed her eyes. Lexa placed a steadying hand on her back to stop her from falling and Clarke felt herself drifting off.

When she woke, she was asleep in their bed in her undergarments realising that Lexa must have put her there. She hadn't meant to fall asleep where she had stood but she had been exhausted.

Clarke dressed with a little embarrassment, realising that it was still night time and went into the other room with a yawn.

Lexa whipped her head around as she entered, her concerned gaze immediately on her.

Raven and Anya were playing cards, Raven laughing as she tried to teach the warrior woman what looked like poker. They looked very flirtatious, Raven grinning and Anya wearing a sly smile.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," Clarke said, as she walked over to sit next to Lexa on the couch.

Lexa placed a hand on her knee.

"You need to rest properly Clarke. You push yourself too far."

Lexa's eyes were full of concern.

"I'm not normally so tired. I don't know what happened."

"It's all those baths you've been having," Raven teased. "Even you need to rest sometimes Griff."

Lexa and Clarke smiled at each other broadly and then looked away. Their eyes found each other again a few seconds later, Clarke staring at her, as if she couldn't take her eyes off of her. They watched each other, content just to be together in that moment, filled with happiness.

"Geez," said Raven, placing down her cards. "Could you cut out the constant heart eyes."

"What are heart eyes," Anya demanded.

"Being ridiculously in love and looking at each other like that," she joked. "I win."

Anya stared down at the cards in disbelief.

"You cheat!"

"I did not. I won fair and square. I'm just better at it than you. What can I say? I'm a natural winner."

Anya glowered at her but there was no malice in her stare.

"You've had more practise. I will get better and then I will defeat you."

"Oh yeah. What you willing to bet that you never beat me?"

Anya glanced down at her with clear arousal.

"I'm sure we will think of something. It's a bet."

Raven winked at her and Clarke didn't know what she was more concerned at, their blatant flirting or the fact that Raven had already introduced the concept of gambling to Anya. She shook her head, thinking it best to mind her own business.

Lexa was sat very close to her on the couch, watching her intensely.

"What?" Clarke asked.

"Nothing," Lexa replied.

Her eyes were scanning over Clarke's face as if memorising it and she took Clarke's hand in her own. Clarke gazed into her eyes trying to figure out the emotions she read there. She was thinking about Madi and family, Clarke thought but whatever was on Lexa's mind she clearly wasn't ready to talk about it.

 

A few hours before Lexa had held Clarke in their bedroom listening to the sweetest song she had ever heard in her life. It filled her with love to hear it, the sound of it so soothing to her spirit. When she felt Clarke's head resting on her, she placed a hand on the girl's back realising that she was falling asleep on the spot. It was not like her to tire so easily but Lexa understood why she was fatigued. They had been fairly active in their time there, mostly out of boredom.

Lexa had been training with her each morning, Clarke insisting that she could keep her pace, despite not being as used to it. They had gone horse riding often and they had been spending a lot of time alone, enjoying each others bodies until exhaustion. It had been bliss but even Clarke ran out of stamina eventually.

Her mission to rescue Murphy and the constant caregiving she provided for Lexa, Madi and her people had been enough to send her to sleep on her feet. Lexa held her close, her body a support for Clarke's. When the blonde's breaths shifted into the familiar rhythm that meant she was deeply asleep, Lexa lifted her up off her feet and took her to the bed. Clarke didn't even stir, her head turning to the side on the bed as she placed her down. Lexa pulled back the covers and gently removed her clothing. She lifted up Clarke's body to put her under the covers and covered her with the blankets to keep her warm.

Lexa sat beside her on the bed for a second just watching her. Clarke's was lying on one side, resting her head on one arm. She appeared so vulnerable like this and Lexa brushed her hair back from her face, stroking her forehead gently.

It reminded her of the first time she had seen Clarke sleep, after they had escaped the _Pauna_. Lexa had watched her curiously, that first time, unable to ignore how adorable Clarke looked as she slept on the ground. She had felt a stirring of feelings that she had not expected, the blonde too difficult to look away from as she curled up on her side.

As she had watched Clarke rest in her family's hut those memories resurfaced and she knew deep in her heart that she would do anything for this woman. Lexa had been full of concern for Madi and uncertain what to do. She was usually always confident in making decisions but this time she had faltered and Clarke had been there to support her as always. Lexa hadn't had to deal with it alone as she surely would have had to if Clarke _hadn't_ been there. She had come to rely on Clarke's constant support.

 

Now she sat on the couch, Clarke awake as the other two women played card games and she could not stop thinking about how wonderful their time had been together in the village. They had made so many great memories there.

It was rare Lexa got time to herself, even in Polis and this had been more enjoyable than Lexa had thought it would be. She knew that she had to focus, to remain vigilant but for once in her life she actually felt free. They were free here.

When Clarke asked her why she was staring she found herself unable to voice the new feeling. Instead she watched Clarke, taking in the depth of those eyes and her unique beauty. She loved Clarke's lips which pulled back to show her teeth when she smiled or tended to curve upwards, particularly her top lip. And then there was that tiny mark just above her lip. It was beyond cute to Lexa how it was just so innocently positioned there. Clarke had a tendency to pout which often drew Lexa's gaze to the mark. She knew that she stared but she couldn't help it.

"You are everything to me," she told her in a low voice, unable to look away from her for even a moment.

Anya and Raven turned around in surprise but Lexa did not care if they heard her. It was true. Clarke's face transformed and she wore a shy smile as if she did not expect or even think herself deserving of such love.

Lexa smiled back and leaned in to kiss her with a tilt of her head. Their lips connected and for the first time since she was a child, Lexa did not feel the weight of being a commander and of having to hide her affections behind a mask of stoicism. Anya and Raven were right there, privy to her admission but she did not care.

It was like when she had chased Nala and kissed her in the woods as a child. It was just natural. Something about being in the hut reminded her of that.

Clarke was kissing her back, her hands in Lexa's hair as their lips joined and melded together, brushing over each other so sweetly.

Lexa opened her eyes first as they separated and saw Clarke still with her eyes closed, her lips pouted forward. She looked relaxed and happy and Lexa leaned in again not able to resist sweeping her into another kiss as they were both carried away by the sensations. Lexa moaned a little as she lost herself in the kiss.

"Maybe we should leave them alone," Raven said in a low voice.

Lexa heard Anya agree and the door closed as they both left the room.

Neither her nor Clarke opened their eyes or stopped the kiss. They both knew that soon the world would soon return and they would have to return to their full responsibilities. They could only shut out the world for so long but in that kiss they were free from all the pressures and the expectations and they never wanted it to end.

"I love you so much," Clarke whispered, as they broke apart.

Their eyes were still closed, their foreheads touching and Clarke just lowered her head onto Lexa's shoulder.

"I wish we could stay here," Lexa told her. "I have been so happy here. For the first time-" Lexa sighed. "For the first time I feel free."

Clarke raised her head to look up into her sea green eyes. Lexa was struggling to express her feelings now, the words catching in her throat.

"I know what you mean. If things had been different we could have lived here together, you, me and Madi. Polis is our home but it's a nice dream."

Lexa let out a breath, brushing the back of Clarke's head, the red hair wavy and thick in her fingers.

"Although, I do miss your hair being blonde," Lexa joked.

Clarke laughed.

"It'll rinse out. It'll be blonde again soon."

"I see that Raven and Anya are getting close," Lexa said.

"It was a suprise for me too."

Lexa smirked.

"Anya was always very successful with women. She is very experienced with that."

"I was surprised that you weren't, what with those eyes and that jawline," Clarke teased. "And those _amazing_ lips."

Clarke thought that she should stop or she would be listing features for days.

"I don't trust easily," Lexa replied, in serious tone.

"So there were others that you liked."

"There was never time," Lexa replied quickly.

Clarke saw through the lie. Lexa didn't like to let people see her vulnerability, that was why she had been alone for so much of her life. She must have liked and trusted Costia a lot to let her in.

Clarke felt a sudden burning desire to ask her about Costia. She had never asked anything about the girl though she knew that Lexa had clearly loved her and that her death had been extremely devastating for Lexa. She wanted to know everything but Lexa still rarely even mentioned her and Clarke didn't want to cause her pain.

"You can ask," Lexa told her, clearly reading the mix of emotions in her eyes.

"If it's too difficult..." Clarke began.

Lexa stopped her.

"You told me about Finn. Ask."

"What was Costia like?"

Lexa's body tensed, her eyes filling with painful emotions but she maintained her composure.

"She was a handmaiden at Polis. She tended to me everyday, braiding my hair, cleaning my wounds. She was kind and soft."

"What did she look like?"

"Her hair was short and very curly and brown and her skin quite dark. She was about your height and was quite petite."

Clarke felt a slight pang of jealousy but pushed it away. She couldn't be jealous of Costia. That couldn't happen.

"We talked sometimes as she tended to my needs. She would often restitch my clothes when they tore and would not wait for me to get out of them while she fixed them. Costia liked to get things done right away. She wasn't very patient and she would sometimes demand I stand still if I moved."

"She challenged you?" Clarke asked in surprise.

"Not really. Not on important matters but she took her role seriously and wanted to do it well. I have been the commander from a young age. I am used to dismissing people as I wish. Costia would always obey but she would grumble and say things under her breath. At first I was offended-."

Clarke smiled.

"-but you liked her bravery. It amused you and she was cute."

This was the most she had ever gotten out Lexa about Costia and Clarke could already picture what had happened. They had been in close quarters with each other on a daily basis, Costia's hands on Lexa as she tended to her.

"Wait is that why you were snappy with me when I fixed your arm when we first met. Did it remind you of _her_?"

Lexa pressed her lips together and rolled her eyes which meant yes.

"I was _not_ _snappy_ , as your people say. I was giving you much needed advice and it would have been a smarter decision to leave me to die instead of us both being at risk."

"Not really. Then we couldn't have worked together and our people would still be in Mount Weather."

Lexa grew frustrated.

"Clarke, just because it-"

She stopped herself as she began to argue back and thought better of breaking the positive mood between them.

"You are infuriating sometimes," she muttered.

Clarke looked at her to challenge her words, as if demanding an explanation. Lexa smiled at her tenacity. Clarke's offended expression disappeared and she returned the smile.

"Who kissed who?" Clarke asked quietly, as if treading lightly in the conversation.

"I kissed her. I don't think she would have ever done it first, as I was her commander. She was tending my shoulder and she was close and pretty and she smelled very nice."

Lexa blinked as she spoke and let out a sigh as she paused.

"It really just accelerated from there. After that we kept kissing in secret until Anya caught us together in the stables."

Clarke was grinning a little as if this was too amusing. Then she was quiet and Lexa thought maybe she had said too much and that hearing her talk of her former lover was too difficult for Clarke.

"So you thought of kissing me when I tended your shoulder. It reminded you."

Clarke raised her eyebrows in amusement and Lexa admonished herself for how easily the girl had seen through her.

"I was busy thinking how we might both be killed by the _Pauna_."

Clarke's lips were curved into a satisfied smirk. She knew that she was right.

"I did think about it," Lexa admitted in a deep, low tone.

Clarke ran her hand down Lexa's shoulder, smiling broadly, her teeth showing between her lips. Her tongue flicked between her lips, the movement just barely visible if you weren't paying attention.

"Thank you for telling me about her. I know that it's still difficult."

Lexa inhaled deeply and nodded her head.

"It's okay. I have you now. I'm not haunted in the same way that I once was. But if anything happened to you-"

Lexa took Clarke's hands in her own on her lap.

"I don't think that I would get over it," she admitted, finding it difficult to speak.

Clarke gripped her fingertips around her own, holding onto her tightly.

"Let's make sure that we never have to find out, one way or another. I can't lose you either."

Lexa nodded, gazing at her, full of love, not sure what she had done to be so lucky. Clarke drew her closer and Lexa kissed her neck, gazing down into Clarke's steady blue eyes that were focussed so intently on her.

Clarke always looked vulnerable like this, as if her feelings for Lexa surprised her and she didn't know how to put them into words. She was looking up to Lexa as if waiting for her to lead her, as if _wanting_ her to lead her but unsure how to voice that.

Clarke always acted suprised by Lexa's affections, as if she thought so little of herself, that she still couldn't understand why the commander of the thirteen clans wanted her at all.

Those who thought they knew Clarke so rarely understood how little the sky girl believed herself deserving of happiness. Lexa saw her own insecurities mirrored there and Clarke often reminded her of her early days as a commander, when she had still been hesistant to accept that she was meant to be commander and what the weight of that burden meant.

She had long suspected that part of why Clarke had run away from Arkadia was because she didn't believe herself a leader and had been unable to accept who she truly was.

It endeared Lexa to her even more. She found it immensely adorable and it stirred that protectiveness in her that she always felt for Clarke. She had a innate desire to help lead her down the correct path and to help her to accept herself. Clarke just never saw how special she was and Lexa was completely sure that she even considered their relationship just a random twist of fate and gave herself no credit for why Lexa had fallen in love with her.

"You give yourself so little credit for your actions," Lexa said, thinking out loud.

She squeezed Clarke's hands as she spoke, brushing her thumb across the back of them. Clarke's was turned away now.

"You are special yet you think yourself ordinary."

Clarke didn't reply. Lexa knew that she found compliments hard to accept.

"You are a great leader. You care for your people every day, you care for Madi, you care for me and you care for your friends. Yet you act as if it is all just an accident that they love you for it."

Lexa turned to her and saw tears threatening to spill in the corner of Clarke's eyes. She was fighting them, for some reason refusing to allow them, but seeing the wetness in the corner of her eyes, Lexa knew that she had been right.

She released one of her hands and guided Clarke's cheek to meet their eyes again. Clarke struggled to return her gaze, struggling with a mix of emotions.

"I have always seen that you are special," Lexa told her. "Even from the beginning. You deserve to be happy. We both do."

_Don't we deserve better than that?_

_Maybe we do._

Lexa knew that they both remembered that moment so clearly. The statement had been meant by Clarke to tell Lexa that she deserved more but she had said _we_ because deep down Clarke had been wondering if she deserved happiness too. Clarke had been doubting herself as always. Lexa had instantly understood the deeper question behind her words.

Clarke was very quiet but Lexa saw a single tear drop from her eyes. She brushed it with her fingertips softly and kissed just above her cheek where it had fallen, cupping Clarke's face in her hands.

"I will spend the rest of my life convincing you," Lexa whispered.

Clarke still looked downwards, as if hearing this was still too hard but she wore a weak smile and Lexa thought that she was getting through to her, just a little.

"I don't think Raven and Anya are coming back. There's another set of cards if you want to learn how to play," Clarke said, quickly changing the subject.

Lexa recognised that she had pushed this enough and that Clarke was getting beyond her comfort level and pulled back a little.

"I would like that," she said, softly. "You can teach me."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skaikru - Sky clan/people  
> Houmon - Spouse  
> Pauna - Mutated gorilla


	18. Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke teaches Lexa how to play poker while Raven and Anya have fun in Anya's room. Raven learns about Costia and Anya begins to develop an attachment to Raven.

Clarke smiled and got up to the get the cards from her pack. She returned and sat down at the table, Lexa following her.

"I'll teach you to beat Raven and Anya," she joked. "I used to play with Wells all the time and he was good at every game. Other people are easy in comparison."

"Is that why you are so good at chess?"

"Yes," Clarke nodded. "After losing to him a million times, every other player was a piece of cake. He was ridiculously good. Even Jaha couldn't beat him and he was a good player."

Lexa sighed closing her mouth suddenly as if thinking.

"I forgot how close you were to Jaha growing up. This must be difficult for you."

Clarke shrugged.

"He floated my dad. He could be a cruel leader. He always thought he was doing the right thing but even Wells often thought that he was too convinced of his own words. He didn't listen well to others. It used to drive Wells crazy. You could never change his mind about anything."

Clarke set up the cards as she talked, not even needing to look what her hands were doing, the action so natural to her.

"Here. Those are yours. I'll help you the first game. Poker's a lot like leadership. You have to hide your hand and bluff a lot. I've got a feeling you'll be a natural at it."

Lexa leaned over her cards curiously.

"You aren't meant to look at my hand Lexa," she chuckled. "That's cheating."

"There is no cheating. There is winning and losing."

Clarke raised an eyebrow as she reordered her cards.

"Wow. We are really going to have to have a talk about your ethics if we are going to be married some day."

"You would cheat if it would save your people. Isn't it smarter to know your opponents hand?"

"Yes,"Clarke agreed "but in Poker it's cheating and so you will lose. You have to follow the rules of the game."

Lexa gave her an adorable look of frustration. She really was incredibly competitive.

"Fine," she said. "I will follow the rules."

Clarke gave her a slight smile, amused by her attitude.

"You know there is another version of this game that you might find interesting," she teased playfully.

Lexa was examining her cards, unimpressed.

"Oh? Is it more exciting than this because so far this is not thrilling?"

Clarke smirked and raised an eyebrow trying to appear innocent as she spoke.

"It involves the loser taking off items of clothing if they lose."

Lexa's head shot up, her hungry eyes on Clarke immediately.

"Let's play that version then," she replied with a mischievous smile.

Clarke looked very satisfied at the reaction her suggestion achieved. Their eyes met and they held eye contact, both of them hiding unbidden thoughts of desire and already imagining where the rest of their night was going.

 

"This is so much better than I thought it would be," Raven said with a broad grin.

She was straddling Anya, just finishing another intense round of sex. The grounder woman was staring up at her, her eyes unreadable as always. Raven swung her leg over and rolled onto her back unaware that Anya's eyes were following her.

"I guess you're used to it with all the women you've been with," Raven teased, her eyes closed, her head thrown back.

She wore a large satisfied grin and Anya was watching her, a little awed at her beauty.

"It isn't always like this," she replied.

"I guess they aren't all as good as me," Raven joked. "They don't have my natural talent."

Anya brushed her hair back from her forehead. It was untied and long, dark hair framed her face, messy and luxoriously thick. Anya ran her fingers through it's rich layers enjoying the sensation of it. Raven almost always wore her hair back. It was only in these moments she got to see it in all it'a glory.

"What no comeback?" Raven continued. "Did I wear you out that much?"

Anya rolled her eyes as if the mere notion was absurd.

"Think again sky girl. It takes more than you to do that."

Raven turned her head to her, their eyes meeting. She was grinning so broadly, her rich, dark eyes lit up with excitement, that Anya felt herself smiling back, the brunette's mood infectious. Her body felt so deliciously satisfied. She had had her way with the sky girl several times, dominating her but finding her partner to be much wilder than she expected. Raven was the most energetic partner she had ever had.

In truth, she had never expected the sky people to be so intense when it came to sex. Clarke and Lexa's sex life certainly seemed intense but she had thought Clarke an exception. Raven was all fire and intensity when they made love while Anya was strong and instructive.

They lay there for a moment, just enjoying the after effects of their night.

"So. What about those two? Are you still convinced Clarke is just with her for revenge?"

Anya met her eyes again.

"No. It is clear how they feel for each other. It was a shock. I've never seen Lexa like this, not even with Costia."

"Costia?" Raven asked.

"Clarke never told you?" Anya frowned.

Clarke had clearly kept much of Lexa's past secret from her friends. She had assumed that Clarke told Raven everything given how close they seemed.

"Not a thing. Who's Costia?"

"Lexa was in love with her. The Ice Queen murdered her when she learned of their love."

Raven's smile faded. Her eyes darkened as she took in the knowledge.

"She was tortured and beheaded and left in Lexa's bed for her to find. Lexa was never quite the same afterwards."

Raven's eyes darted away. Anya knew she thought of Finn. 

"That's why she's so possessive of Clarke." Raven replied.

"She fears that her enemies will target her. They already have from what I hear. She was attacked?"

Raven lips curled, her anger visible on her face.

"Jaha's revolution. He nearly killed her. It's lucky Abby was there to save her."

"Clarke's mother? Tell me is there something between you two? You seem very fond of her."

Raven laughed increduously as if the thought was ridiculous but Anya wasn't sure she believed her completely.

"Clarke's mom! No. She- she's been a good friend to me. She's my doctor."

Anya narrowed her eyes but relaxed and placed one hand on Raven's stomach.

"It's okay. I do not get jealous easily. I am not Lexa."

"Oh my god, you should have seen when she and Niylah were eating dinner after Lexa first found out. I thought Lexa was going to murder her with the death glare she was giving her. It was hilarious. Clarke was just in the middle of it, all awkward as hell."

"You have a very strange sense of humour."

"Don't you?" Raven joked.

Anya said little in response but found herself very much enjoying Raven's humour. In fact, her whole presence and the way she was holding Anya's hand in place over her stomach and the way she looked up at Anya with those big brown eyes that seemed to plead 'love me', 'don't leave me', even as Raven acted incredibly self-confident. It was all very pleasant. Anya found herself feeling very comfortable with the young woman's presence.

"We should probably check on those two," Raven said suddenly. "Something seemed to be going on in there earlier. It wasn't like Clarke to fall asleep like that. There was a vibe like they were keeping secrets too."

"It seemed so," Anya replied. "Before we go, I must warn you. Do not mention Costia to Lexa. You do not want to anger her. However she feels for Clarke she is still the commander and that name- it still has an effect on her."

Raven went quiet.

"How did she get past it? How do you ever get over it?"

Anya watched her now. She was no longer talking about Lexa.

"You focus on the living. The past cannot be changed. Love can happen more than once in a lifetime."

"Have you ever been in love?" Raven asked. "No. Probably not. Silly question Reyes. You are a warrior. You probably think it's childish."

Anya felt a stirring in her heart as she watched the sky girl correct herself.

"I have not," she said. "That doesn't mean I never will."

"Well don't," Raven replied. "It sucks. They always leave you one way or another."

There was a deep sadness in her tone. Anya caressed her stomach and felt Raven's hand clench around hers tighter. Raven's eyes were full of vulnerability. She seemed afraid almost and it made Anya want to protect her from ever being hurt again.

"You cannot let fear stop you from living," Anya told her. "Pushing away those who would love you in case they leave you later is a fool's game. We are all human."

Raven smiled at her and Anya felt an unusual new thudding in her heart.

"We should check on them," Raven replied, as if embarrassed now.

"Let's go."

 

When the pair were dressed, they walked towards the living area expecting to find Clarke and Lexa in some serious discussion about the day's events. Anya moved to stride right in, grabbing the door handle with force but Raven stopped her.

"I've made that mistake before," she joked, gripping Anya's hand. "Let's just peek first."

They both opened the door slowly and leaned their heads in the gap, Anya towering behind Raven.

Clarke and Lexa were playing strip poker it seemed. Lexa was half-dressed yet Clarke still fully clothed. They sat on the floor on a large rug with playing cards set out in front of them.

"This game is unfair! You have barely taken off any clothing."

Lexa tilted her head, clearing unimpressed by her current situation.

"I _did_ tell you that I was good at this game. You still wanted to play. If you want me naked, you have to _win_."

"You could take off _something_ to make it more fair. You are being cruel."

Clarke groaned and pulled her top over her head, revealing a black bra underneath. Lexa wore only a bra and knickers.

"There. Better?"

Lexa's eyes dropped downwards as she ran her eyes over Clarke's exposed skin. She relaxed at the sight, her frustration dissipating.

"Much better," she replied. "Your turn."

"Pair of Aces," Clarke told her in a husky voice.

"Full house."

"Lexa! Did you trick me into taking something off knowing you were gonna win the next hand?"

"Of course not."

"I can play dirty too."

 

Raven and Anya closed the door before the women saw them.

"See I told you. Never just walk in on them."

"I'll remember your advice," Anya replied.

Raven smirked, her eyes falling to Anya's lips.

"I guess we'll have to stay in your room all night and give them space. Who knows how long they'll be doing it."

Anya's eyes flickered down.

"That is a sound strategy Raven Reyes."

"Of course it is. I'm a total genius."

Anya couldn't help but smile broadly now in reply and was rewarded with Raven's ever so attractive, wide grin.

"Be careful what you wish for," she teased. "You may find your body regretting it in the morning. I have a lot of plans for you."

"Bring it on grounder girl."

Raven threw herself forward, pressing her lips to Anya's and Anya stood still, holding the smaller woman's waist as she stretched her body upwards. There was a height difference between them but Raven seemed to overcompensate by launching herself up into her arms and kissing her with force. Anya raised her up off the ground and the brunette's legs wrapped around her waist. She stroked the skin between Raven's leg brace, taking care to be less aggressive with her there and spun around, carrying her back to her bedroom.

 _I am getting too attached to this one_ she thought.

Anya did not voice the thought, her mouth far too busy responding to the sky girl's aggressive kisses but she knew that it was trying to tell her something important. If only she could find herself able to care she might have listened.


	19. Flirting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia and Niylah become closer after Octavia walks in unexpectedly on Clarke and Lexa and Octavia comes up with a plan to get to the supplies.
> 
> NSFW - This chapter features Niytavia so if you are not comfortable with the ship or don't like it, you might want to skip it. Personally I quite like them so I don't see the problem.

When Octavia burst into the hut like a hurricane Lexa and Clarke were in fairly compromising position. They were both stripped completely to their underwear, both holding playing cards and Octavia stared at them with disbelief.

"What's wrong?" Clarke asked quickly grabbing her clothes to hold over herself.

Octavia darted her eyes away in embarrassment.

"I-it's not important. It can wait."

Octavia seemed furious with them though Clarke didn't know why. She turned on her heel and exited immediately slamming the door behind her. Lexa and Clarke just glanced at each other, not sure what had just happened.

"Maybe I should go after her?" Clarke said.

"She said it was not important," Lexa replied, clearly a little annoyed at the interruption.

Clarke glanced at Lexa's half-naked form, the curve of her neck and shoulders, the shape of her breasts and hips.

"You're right. It can wait."

Clarke smiled and Lexa beamed back at her.

"It's your move. What do you have?"

Clarke faked a frown and then smiled suddenly.

"Four Jacks," she said confidently, her eyes on Lexa's remaining clothing.

Clarke pressed her lips together, wondering what she was going to remove next but then she saw Lexa's increasing smile.

"What do you have?" Clarke asked in disbelief.

"Four queens," she said, appearing very pleased with herself.

Clarke shook her head, unable to believe her luck. Lexa watched her hands move to her back to unfasten her bra. When the material loosened and dropped away, Lexa's eyes seemed unable to keep from wandering down to her body. She glanced at it with hunger and then back at her cards.

"You were right Clarke. As you predicted I am a natural at this game."

Clarke muttered something about an AI enhancing her thinking and how unfair it was as she dealt the next hand. When Lexa raised an eyebrow to challenge her, Clarke just shook her head.

"I'll win this one," Clarke said with determination.

Lexa smiled in amusment glancing at her and then down at her cards.

"We shall see Clarke."

 

Octavia returned to the hut she shared with Niylah, full of fury.

Niylah walked into the main room as soon as she heard the girl return. Her blonde hair was long and braided and worn to the side. She saw right away that Octavia was upset. The sky girl clenched her fists pacing back and forth.

"I can't believe those two-!" she raged.

Niylah watched her with narrowed eyes wondering what was wrong.

"What happened?"

Octavia spun her head around to the blonde woman gesturing back at the door.

"I went to talk to them about a possible plan to get the supplies and they're both in their underwear playing strip poker."

Niylah frowned. She had no idea what strip poker was but it sounded interesting and a part of her wondered, if she had ended up with Clarke instead of Lexa, would she be in a hut with Clarke enjoying the sight of her half naked form right now. The thought was very appealing but useless. As Niylah well knew Clarke wanted no one but Lexa. She pushed it away and concentrated on the sky girl in front of her instead and on soothing her upset.

The brunette girl had been friends with her for a while. She always seemed quick to anger but Niylah couldn't help but think that it was to mask some kind of pain or insecurity. The girl was very pretty and always kind to Niylah, never ignoring her as many of _skaikru_ had a tendency to do besides Clarke.

Niylah had been flirting with her since the day they had met but Octavia had not noticed, assuming her motive purely friendship and Niylah was not one to pursue someone who didn't want her back.

"So you can tell them tomorrow," Niylah told her. "It's unlikely they expected you at this hour."

Octavia blinked and sat down on the couch. Niylah sat down beside her wanting desperately to take things further with the girl but not wanting to overstep their boundaries.

"You're _defending_ them. Ever since she got with Lexa, it's all she cares about. She barely ever visits. She's always at Polis. They're at it like rabbits and they don't care who knows it. This thing with Jaha is serious. People could _die_ if we don't stop him."

Niylah's eyes darted away as she remembered her night with Clarke. The news that they had a rich sex life was no surprise to her. Clarke had been one of the best lovers she had ever had.

She remembered that hungry look in Clarke's eyes as she had pressed Niylah's hand to her shoulder. She had lunged forward at Niylah as if she had been starving for the connection. She had boldly pushed her back on the bed and pulled her own clothing down, exposing her bare back and breasts as Niylah's hands had gripped her body.

Niylah usually preferred being on top but Clarke's body had been delicious, her mouth desperately searching to reconnect with Niylah's when she had pulled away. If Niylah had not flipped her over when they had kissed, she was sure Clarke would have dominated their whole encounter and that she would have happily let her.

"I mean I'm happy for her but this is no time for playing _sex games_ when my brother is putting his life at risk."

Niylah's eyes were on her and she unable to keep from moving closer to the upset girl.

"There is always danger. When would be the time if she waited?"

Octavia's eyes burned into her with hurt and betrayal.

"Not _now_. Why are you always defending her? Don't tell me that you still have a thing for her after she ditched you that night?"

Niylah glared at her, hurt by the sudden accusation and the reminder of Clarke's quick departure from her bed. She understood why Clarke had left so quickly but it had still been disappointing when she woken and found her gone. She turned away quietly.

"I'm sorry," Octavia said in a softer tone. "I shouldn't take it out on you. I didn't expect to see them like that."

"It is forgotten," said Niylah with a broad smile.

Octavia felt a heat rise within her body. Niylah hovered so closely to her and her smile always had a mischievousness to it, as if she did it to impress Octavia for some reason. Octavia saw Niylah's eyes drop to her lips. She had caught Niylah looking at her like this before but she had ignored it, confused by the feelings she had when she did and by how much she liked the attention.

A few times, she had thought that Niylah was flirting with her but dismissed it as her imagination. She frequently complimented her and when she returned from training Niylah was often there waiting with a smile, telling her how impressive a warrior she was. She had even given her one of the books her mother had read to her as a child as a gift.

Unable to hold back any longer, Octavia leaned forward and slowly pressed her lips onto the blonde's. Niylah immediately reciprocated as if she had been waiting forever for a chance to and Octavia lost herself in the new sensations finding it even more pleasant than she had imagined.

Niylah gently pushed her down on the couch so that she was on her back, staring down at her with lust in her eyes. Octavia waited for her to move, completely still, not sure what she was even doing and then Niylah kissed her again, pushing her hands deep into Octavia's coat and underneath her clothes. Octavia threw her head back as Niylah's hands dipped into her underwear.

She gasped as the blonde's hands pressed into her folds and ran circles over her clitoris. She slipped her fingers inside her. Octavia was as a quiet as mouse, watching her with fascination and arousal. Niylah pulled her pants and underwear down and lowered herself down to meet the slickness there.

Octavia just lay on her back, releasing a quiet gasp as Niylah's mouth met her core. She lost all sense of anger, all sense of nervousness disappearing as the older woman tasted her.

Octavia turned her head to side unable to focus on anything but the intense arousal and the woman's tongue moving inside her body. When she came it was intense and afterwards she couldn't quite believe what they had done. She hadn't even thought herself attracted to women. Maybe that's why she had been so jealous of Clarke and Lexa. She had wanted what they had but had been too afraid to even consider it.

Niylah wasn't stopping even after she had orgasmed. She seemed to enjoy caring for other's needs a great deal. Octavia wasn't even sure where she would start when it was her turn. She had been with Lincoln for a long time but had limited experience of sex beyond that.

 

"You do not have to do this if you are uncomfortable with it," Niylah told her later when they were undressing in the bedroom.

"I want to," Octavia replied.

They undressed and climbed into the bed and Octavia felt increasingly nervous. Niylah guided her hands to her own body, one to her breasts and the other between her legs. She guided Octavia's movements before climbing on top of her and allowing the girl to get used to it.

"You can put them inside," she told Octavia with a smile. "Push them in."

Niylah guided Octavia's fingers deep into her. Octavia was wide eyed, completely inexperienced at the act. Niylah instructed her patiently flashing a broad grin at the nervous girl underneath her. When they sank into her, Niylah inhaled deeply and Octavia began to push them in and out slowly. Niylah guided her at first but when she found the right rhythm, she let her continue her movements unguided and soon Niylah felt the momentum of an orgasm building within her.

Octavia seemed spurred on by this and increased her pace but was still frustratingly slow in her motions. Niylah told her to speed up and Octavia obeyed, watching her face as she did as if curiously observing the effect she was having.

"Ah. Like that. Keep going. You are good at this."

Octavia moved in and out of her until Niylah's body jerked repeatedly and she groaned out with the sound of climax. Octavia as if by instinct moved in and out of her a few times more slowly teasing out the last of the orgasm until complete satisfaction. Niylah finally took her hands and withdrew them from herself and sucked over Octavia's fingers looking at her as she did.

"Now you see why they spend so much time alone," she joked.

Octavia was very quiet as if still stunned. Niylah cradled her face, brushing her hair back and placed a kiss on her lips. She lay down beside Octavia who still seemed confused by what had happened and she put an arm around the sky girl.

"This is the part where we go to sleep," she teased, noticing Octavia's awkwardness.

Octavia turned to meet her eyes and Niylah saw softness in them. She looked at Niylah with affection and then curled up closer to her. Niylah kissed the back of her neck and they settled down to sleep.

 

Clarke knocked on the door of the hut, Anya following her like a ghost. Niylah answered with a smile and invited her in politely. Anya chose to wait outside.

"Is Octavia here?" she asked, sitting on a chair across from the couch.

Niylah didn't sit down, instead sorting through some of her stock for the day.

"She is getting dressed. You are early."

"Well she seemed pretty upset," Clarke explained. "I wanted to check on her."

"I'm sure her anger will have passed."

It was then that Clarke's noticed Niylah's confident smile. She recognised what it meant having been the cause of that smile once before.

"Octavia's anger rarely passes quickly."

"Maybe she is learning to control it."

Clarke narrowed her eyes, meeting Niylah's gaze. When Octavia entered the room, dressed in her usual warrior clothes, Niylah's gaze averted to her. Octavia looked up at Clarke immediately.

"Clarke?"

"You wanted to talk?"

"Yes. I had some ideas. One or two of Jaha's most trusted men liked it when Murphy introduced them to drinking alcohol. I have the recipe to Monty's moonshine. I thought we could use it on them."

Clarke raised her head, thinking about the possibility.

"I am just leaving so you can talk alone."

Octavia raised her head to respond, her eyes on Niylah. She wore an innocent expression.

"When will you be back?"

Niylah opened the door looking back at Octavia with a broad smile.

"I will return for lunch and cook for us. Don't worry, you will not go hungry. I will not leave you to Ryko's terrible cooking."

Clarke watched them understanding exactly what was happening between them now.

 _Niylah. You couldn't resist could you?_ she thought with humour. _How many of skaikru have you seduced?_

Clarke wondered how often Niylah had done this with other women when they had come to her trading station. She certainly seemed practised at it, though she suspected the time between them was very long given how remote the station had been. No doubt she took her opportunities when they arose else she might not get another chance for months.

When the door was closed and Octavia and Clarke were alone, Clarke listened patiently to Octavia's idea to use the moonshine to take out the guards.

"I can find out when they are on rotation and leave it in their quarters. They will assume that it's a gift from Jaha and it will hit them like a ton of bricks."

"Are you sure they'll pass out? Lexa and I lasted hours on the stuff."

"So I _heard_ ," Octavia replied in amusement.

Clarke ignored the embarrassment rising in her. She was never going to hear the end of that night.

"They had a real low tolerance when Murphy drank with them," Octavia continued. "Barely lasted through a few rounds. Trust me, Monty's moonshine will have them passed out on the floor in a no time."

Clarke was thinking about it, trying to calculate if they would know who placed the moonshine or it they should remove the bottle. Jaha would know of Monty's brew and that Octavia was friends with him.

"You should make sure to hide it in the normal alcohol supply. If you leave a strange new bottle and Jaha finds it..."

"I know Clarke. I thought of that."

Clarke nodded. "It's a great plan. Come by the hut after I've spoken to Lexa. She has the final decision as commander. I'm sure she'll agree to it."

"She'd probably agree to anything you suggest. Like strip poker?"

Clarke could feel a slight blush coming to her cheeks.

"We weren't expecting you. It was pretty late."

"I'll remember to knock next time."

Clarke smiled, glancing away.

"Anyway I have to get to work. Jaha put me on duty training their warriors. I'll see you later."

Clarke nodded in reply and got to her feet. She exited the hut feeling more positive now that they had a more tangible plan to move forward with.

_Good. Now maybe we can move forward._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skaikru - sky people/clan


	20. What Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anya becomes jealous when Raven meets an ex in the village. Clarke gives Anya some advice. Clarke and Lexa arrange another picnic date and Raven opens up to Anya about her fears. 
> 
> References to alcoholism.

When Clarke exited the hut, Anya was waiting for her but her eyes were drawn towards the marketplace where Raven was talking to another _skaikru_ defector. She didn't say much but Clarke could sense her dislike at how Raven smiled back at him, at how she playfully punched his arm and leaned in closer as she spoke.

Clarke turned her head to watch Anya who was still as a statue but bubbling up with deep buried emotions as she watched then.

"That's Wick," Clarke told her. "They worked together in engineering. I'm surprised he's one of the defectors."

"Traitors," Anya corrected with distaste.

Clarke sensed that Anya's dislike for him was because of more than just his shaky loyalties.

"So... you like Raven?" she asked, thinking a conversation about it long overdue.

Anya's eyes darted to Clarke. She looked thoroughly unimpressed with the question.

"We are having sex yes."

"But you like her _more_ than that."

Anya turned her gaze towards Raven again, her eyes filled with confusion.

"Of course not. A warrior has no time for love."

"Who said anything about love?" Clarke teased.

Anya blinked and didn't answer her. She knew that Clarke had caught her out on her true affections for Raven.

"Were they intimate Raven and Wick?" she asked begrudgingly. "She seems very comfortable with him."

"Erm. You better ask Raven that herself."

Anya's eyes narrowed further. She was visibly unhappy with the answer.

"Yes then," she growled.

Clarke took one look at her and then smiled. Anya clearly cared for Raven more than she wanted people to know. She knew that like Lexa, many grounder warriors thought love was a luxury that they could not afford.

Raven suddenly turned and headed back to them, with that familiar bounce in her walk.

"Was it wise talking to Wick?" Clarke asked. "He might tell Jaha you are here."

"I told him that I was a defector too. He believes that I'm hiding out here from you and Lexa."

Clarke lifted her chin and nodded, thinking it over.

"Don't worry Clarke," Raven said confidently. "I handled it. I can handle Wick. We go way back."

Anya made a sound of annoyance.

"Apparently so," she growled.

Raven's smile disappeared as she met the warrior's eyes. She tried to hide it but Raven didn't seem to like that she had bothered Anya.

"I thought you didn't get jealous. Isn't that what you said?" she teased with a seriousness to her tone.

"I don't," Anya replied. "I don't care about your past lovers but we are on a mission."

Anya started walking back to the hut, not even waiting for Clarke and Raven to follow.

Raven jogged to catch up and Clarke walked behind them as they bickered seemingly forgetting she was even there.

"Bullshit, you don't care! You were actually bothered by me talking to Wick."

"Raven _kom skaikru_ thinks very highly of herself."

"And how many exes might you bump into? You won't even tell me the number you've slept with."

Anya squared up to Raven slowly while Raven glared back up at her with defiance.

"I do not spend my life keeping count of my encounters as if it is some competition."

"And _I_ don't cheat. You really think I'd sleep with Wick again when we're together right now. You're the one who won't say that we're girlfriends, not me."

Anya blinked as if that had hurt her and Raven stepped closer. They were outside Lexa's hut now, facing each other.

"Come and find me when you're ready to be honest with me and act like an actual grown up," Raven told her.

Anya just watched as the sky girl pushed past her and entered the hut, slamming the door behind her. There was an uncomfortable silence between Anya and Clarke.

"How did you do it?" Anya asked her suddenly. "You and Lexa. How did you help her to get past 'love is weakness'?"

Anya was looking at her with expectation, her emotions buried behind years of training. Clarke realised suddenly that Lexa wasn't the only grounder to be brainwashed into repressing her emotions. It seemed to be a very strong message in their culture that few ever escaped. Clarke wondered for how long it had been repeated to them. How many generations had been taught to believe it?

"By teaching her that it isn't. Love can be strength too. Emotions are just information. You need all the relevant information in a situation to make good decisions."

"You are sounding more like Lexa, the longer you are together. She speaks more like you too sometimes now."

There was a note of sadness in Anya's tone as if she felt she was losing something.

"You will always be her mentor. She loves you though she doesn't say it. You didn't see how she reacted when I gave her your braid. She tried to hide it but she was clearly upset."

Anya smiled. It was such a rare sight that Clarke thought that she must draw it later, to memorise the image.

"Maybe you should be honest with Raven about how you feel," Clarke suggested.

The smile disappeared rapidly replaced by a bitterness.

"I don't know how," she replied.

"All you have to do is try," Clarke told her, tilting her head sympathetically. "Just try."

Anya gave her a nod as if accepting her advice and then turned away to enter the hut, Clarke following behind her.

 

"What did Octavia want?" Lexa asked as soon as she entered.

She was sat on the couch, a book in her hand and several maps scattered around her. Lexa was fond of studying layouts. Clarke had drawn her a detailed sketch of the village layout. Clarke noticed her sketchbook hiding under the papers, the sketch of her and Lexa's bodies joined together at their picnic just poking out. Lexa noticed her eyes on the image and pushed it out of sight, hiding it from the other women in the room.

Clarke stepped towards her. Anya made her excuses and went straight to her room which was presumably where Raven had disappeared to. 

"She has a plan to get to the guards. It could work."

"It is the one they keep well guarded?"

Clarke nodded.

"We don't know what's in there but the fact that it's guarded 24 hours a day means that it must be important. If we get to that, we can start making an impact."

Lexa's eyes were not on her. Whenever she was considering something she got this far away look that meant she was thinking about her options. Clarke knew that she was imagining the possible outcomes of their actions, just as Clarke had done when Octavia had told her the plan.

"It will work," Lexa said with assurance.

Her eyes refocussed and she met Clarke's gaze.

"Octavia will come by later to get the go ahead."

"This is good. We can make progress. We have been here too long."

Clarke smiled.

"You haven't seemed bothered by that."

Lexa smiled back in return, her face transformed.

"It has been a very good journey but we have to get back soon."

Clarke knew exactly what it was she was worrying about. It was the same thing she was concerned about.

"Madi," she said knowingly, in a low tone.

Clarke reached to hold Lexa's hands, as much for her own comfort as for Lexa's. Her head dropped, that familiar worry for her adopted daughter burning in her heart. Whenever she was away from her, she found it hard not to think of anything else, though she knew that she was well cared for in Polis. Lexa brushed her thumbs over the back of Clarke's hands.

"She will be well cared for in Polis. No harm will come to her."

Clarke nodded silently and Lexa separated their hands and stood up to place her hands around Clarke's waist.

"And we still have time for one more picnic today before Octavia's plan starts."

Clarke laughed at the way she raised her eyebrows as she tried to convince her. Few ever saw this side of Lexa. She could be very charming and persuasive when she wanted to be.

"Oh _now_ you like picnics!"

"They are more enjoyable than I had thought they would be."

Clarke leaned in closer brushing Lexa's loose hair back from her neck.

"Is this you admitting you were wrong?"

Lexa huffed and she stared down at Clarke's lips which where getting ever closer to her own.

"If it is will you kiss me?"

_Always a negotiation. She can't ever just concede._

Clarke loved that about her. It was always a power play between them.

"I might."

"Then I was wrong."

Satisfied Clarke leaned forward and pressed their lips together and they melded onto each other, losing themselves in the sensation of each other's embrace. Lexa's lips were plump and soft against her own.

Ever since the first time she had been surprised by how well they fitted against her own, how soft and slow and tentative they were, as if Lexa wanted not just to kiss her but to savour the moment so that the kiss lasted forever and they never had to be separate again. Clarke thought that she could happily do this for the rest of their lives.

Lexa sighed when they finally separated and their foreheads leaned together.

"Could we stay like this forever?" Lexa whispered so very softly.

Clarke had to inhale a deep breath for she had been holding hers without realising.

"Sounds like a good plan," she replied teasingly.

The broad grin that Lexa responded with brought a wide smile to her lips and she surged forward, her arms around Lexa's back as she reconnected them into a playful, hungry kiss.

"Careful," Clarke murmoured pulling back. "If we don't stop now we might never make it to the picnic. We have to prepare it first."

Lexa smirked.

"No we don't."

Lexa moved to the side of the couch, Clarke loosening her grip on her and picked up a saddlebag.

"All done."

Clarke smiled, her lips separating to slightly show her teeth.

"We'll have to tell Anya to escort Octavia to us if she's early - and to announce herself before entering the clearing."

"Don't worry. Anya has excellent hearing. If we are in the middle of anything she will hear you before they reach the clearing."

Clarke smirked.

"You're very sure of yourself. How do you know it will be _me_ she will hear?"

"Past experience," Lexa said with a smile. "You _are_ the more vocal one."

"I don't think so. You have no idea just how often you moan out my name and how _loudly_."

Lexa raised an eyebrow.

"Is that a challenge?"

"Yes," said Clarke defiantly. "We'll see who's the loud one. It won't be me."

"I accept your challenge," Lexa said with a mischievious smirk.

 

"I don't want to talk to you!"

When Anya entered the room, Raven was on the bed, playing with another one of her contraptions. Anya had no idea what the device was or why Raven was building it. She suspected Raven had numerous inventions that she was working on at any given time.

"I want to talk to you."

"Didn't you hear what I said? I don't."

"Then listen."

Raven refused to look at her, twisting her screwdriver as she fiddle with one of the screws inside her device.

"I am not accustomed to being someone's _niron_."

"I thought you'd been with loads of women or were you lying about that too?"

Anya made a noise of frustration.

"It means 'near one' as well as lover. Clarke and Lexa use it to mean lover but it also means what your people call 'a loved one'. There is no word for as you call it - girlfriend."

"Oh," replied Raven a little embarrassed at her error. "So you're saying you have never had a girlfriend."

Anya's eyes were on her.

"I am a warrior and a leader in _trikru_. I am either travelling or I am at Polis. It leaves little time for girlfriends."

She said the word awkwardly as if it was deeply unfamiliar to her.

"We live dangerous lives here on the ground," she continued. "We take what joy we can and do not question it but we are taught not to get attached."

Raven understood that. She had felt afraid of attachment ever since Finn, for fear of loving someone only for them to be taken again. She stopped moving the screwdriver thinking of her mother's drink problems and how often she had let her verbally hurt her, how often she'd disappointed her.

Her mother had not really been much of a mother and her death had left Raven feeling even more abandoned by her.

"It makes sense. It's smart."

Anya narrowed her eyes.

"Maybe we were wrong. Clarke seems to disagree. Lexa too since she met Clarke. They seem happy despite the danger."

Raven shrugged.

"Good for them. It's not so easy for everyone else."

Anya sat down on the bed next to her.

"Why not?" she asked finding herself emboldened by her curiosity.

"People let you down in the end either way so what difference does it make. I did sleep with Wick but I knew that it wouldn't work."

Anya was watching her intently.

"You pushed him away."

"He thought I was playing games. He didn't get why I couldn't be with him."

Anya frowned again. She did not like the sound of this. It sounded as if he had given Raven an ultimatum when she clearly hadn't been ready for a deeper relationship with him.

"Who hurt you? This isn't just about Finn."

Raven looked down and there was immeasurable sadness in her eyes.

"Who?" Anya repeatedly in a softer tone.

"Have you ever loved someone so much that no matter what they do to your or themselves you take it? My mom. She drank herself to death."

Anya watched Raven break down, her head in her hands. She had clearly told very few people about this. She wondered how many years Raven had suffered with these memories. Anya raised up Raven's chin with her fingers to meet her eyes.

"You must learn to take care of yourself and not take it," she said. "You are as important as they are."

Anya stared deep into her eyes.

"Love is not meant to be one-sided. If it is then they do not deserve you. You matter too. You matter to me."

Raven gave her a weak smile, her watery eyes looking back into Anya's with gratitude. Anya connected their lips once and then pulled her into a hug and held her. Raven accepted it, curling up in the woman's embrace. She closed her eyes and Anya just held her. She felt Anya kiss the top of her head and thought that maybe just this once there was someone who wouldn't leave her when things got too rough. That Anya would always choose her first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kom - from/of  
> Skaikru - sky clan/people  
> Niron - near one/lover  
> Trikru - tree clan


	21. Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa remembers how Clarke reacted the first time she gives her new clothing as a gift and how different their cultures are and the couple make love in the pool and on the picnic blanket. Clarke has a surprise for Lexa.
> 
> NSFW

Lexa loved the feeling of Clarke's arms around her waist as they rode on horseback to their spot.

 _Their spot_ she mused. _She has already made herself a part of that too._

Clarke never meant to but without trying she always found a way into parts of Lexa's life that no one else ever did. Lexa lifted her head regally as Clarke's soft hands gripped her waist tighter.

"Afraid you will fall off?" she joked in a deep voice, not turning her head.

"No. I just like holding onto you."

Lexa smiled and raised her head confidently eyeing the scenery with pride. This was _her_ land, _her_ home, and she happily shared it now with her _niron_.

"We are here," Lexa stated stopping the horse.

Clarke dismounted before her and then Lexa followed soon after watching her fiancée swipe the saddlebag and start laying out the picnic.

Lexa gave a slight hum as she watched her. She wasn't the most patient person. Clarke liked to get things done and to get it done as soon as she could.

They were both frustrated at their lack of progress with Jaha yet for once they had both been able to take a break from the constant burden of leadership and just enjoy each other's company.

They both sat down and Clarke handed her a piece of bread which Lexa ripped apart with her hands. She had noticed more than once that Clarke was particularly happy when she was eating her people's food which Clarke seemed to prefer much more than her own people's. Lexa knew that the rations had been very limited on the Ark.

She loved Clarke's curious and happy smile whenever she encountered items she had not seen before or tasted new flavours.

 

Over a Year and Seven Months Ago

"What's this?" Clarke asked in surprise.

She was in Lexa's tent. The missile had hit TonDC not long before. Clarke had remained in Lexa's presence as she had followed her back to her army in the woods.

"You are a leader to your people. You need to look the part," Lexa replied.

She watched as Clarke ran her hands over the black leather buckle and the metal studs with a curious smile. There was a raised metal shoulder pad on one side and smaller fabric one on the other side. Lexa wasn't quite sure Clarke understood the significance.

Shoulder pads, pauldrons and capes were reserved for leaders only. Warriors wore armour too but of a different kind. Clothing respresented rank in her culture.

"It's beautiful," Clarke gushed, still running her hands over the jacket. Lexa watched in fascination, unable to turn away. She acted as though she had never been given a new outfit in her life and had never seen such a customly designed one.

It occurred to Lexa, not for the first time, just how much of Earth's culture was new to Clarke. The textures, the tastes, the sights, the sounds... She really was an alien to Earth. It made Lexa curious to know what her life had been like before she had landed there.

"Er- thank you," Clarke said a little abashed. "You didn't have to."

Lexa frowned at her unable to stop that flutter in her heart as she watched that shy smile appear at the corners of Clarke's mouth. It was so genuine and innocent a smile, like a child receiving an unexpected present.

Except Clarke wasn't a child and in her presence Lexa was being reminded of that every day as her body reacted to the sight of Clarke's curves, to that hair that shone like sunshine and to her tendency to wear tops that were cut almost cruelly low to show the downward slopes of her breasts.

Lexa had to ignore the impulse to kiss her, to touch her, to take her as her own each time she was in close proximity with Clarke. She ignored the feelings but they seemed to grow stronger as did her affection for her. It was an affection that she couldn't afford.

"As I said. You need to look the part. My people will listen to you more if you follow our customs."

Clarke didn't reply but just gave her a sideways glance. She had been subdued ever since the missile, plagued by guilt. Whatever exchange she had had with her mother was bothering her greatly but Clarke had refused to talk about it when Lexa had pried and she gave up on the matter.

When Lexa found herself staring into those blue eyes a little too long she wandered over to pore over her war table. Behind her she heard the sound of a zipper and froze. She reasoned that it was Clarke changing into the new coat but for a second her mind had jumped to another conclusion and stopped her dead in her tracks.

Clarke tested the zip but then chose to unzip it and leave it open. It was as if she was playing with outfit. Lexa wasn't quite sure how to cope with her strange habits and Clarke caught her watching as she adjusted the jacket.

"What?" she asked. "We didn't get many new clothes in space."

Lexa raised her head in a nod to show understanding and then felt a wave of fatigue wash over her. She eyed the blonde and wondered just how she was supposed to sleep with her sharing a tent. They hadn't had the time or resources to get her one of her own and Lexa had offered to share. It had seemed logical at the time, given the larger size of her own tent.

Right in that moment though she was regretting the decision, realising the error in her logic. She wondered just how long she could resist her desires for Clarke if she kept being so utterly irresistable in everything that she did. 

Later that night they had bickered as Clarke had kept her from sleep by poring over her war table and battle plans and worrying that she had gotten it all wrong. Lexa had tried to ease her worry but when Clarke had seemed unable to rest, she had gotten up with a sigh and tried to calm Clarke's restless mind. She had been patient with Clarke until she had heard the note of concern in Clarke's voice when she had mentioned Bellamy's possible death.

"You care about him?" Lexa had asked, jealousy stirring within her.

She had no right to be jealous. Clarke was not hers but she hadn't been able to help it.

"I care about all of them."

"But you worry about him more?"

Clarke's answer to the question suggested that she cared about him but not romantically and Lexa realised very quickly that Clarke was doubting herself, that she didn't even realise let alone accept that she was a natural leader, born for the role as Lexa was.

After Clarke had taken a break outside and talked to Octavia, Lexa had found herself even more unsettled. She knew that Clarke would be furious with her choice to remove Octavia as a threat. In her heart Lexa felt something akin to guilt about what she was doing but she had to protect the alliance at all costs, even if it meant risking upsetting Clarke.

She ignored the gnawing inside that told her to trust Clarke. She _couldn't_ trust. Trust was a luxury a commander didn't have no matter how much she desired it.

It kept her awake and she lay flat on her bed wondering if Clarke was ever going to rest until finally she felt a dip in the weight of her bed as Clarke climbed in. Lexa turned away, placing her back to Clarke, ignoring the desire that she felt in every fibre of her being at the knowledge the sky girl lay just a few inches away from her body.

She held herself still, trying to mediate, trying to to calm herself but then she heard Clarke exhale and bit her lip to keep the unsafe thoughts she was having about Clarke from taking control of her whole being.

Lexa closed her eyes and inhaled trying to refocus. Clarke rolled onto her side, facing Lexa and she could hear her breathing change as she fell asleep, clearly exhausted.

_I cannot do this. I cannot care for her._

_To be commander is to be alone._

Lexa turned over on her other side, unable to stop herself from catching a glimpse of the sleeping girl. Her eyelashes were long, some dark, some blonde and they fluttered delicately against her skin. Her lips were tightened with worry as if she was having bad dreams but then she relaxed again.

Lexa inhaled sharply, unable to look away at the blonde strands of hair falling over her face and the way Clarke curled up so innocently beside her. She looked vulnerable and defensive as if afraid that danger would return at any time. Lexa had seen her sleep like this before when they had escape from the _Pauna_.

Clarke had awoken as soon as she had heard the beast, jolting upright and Lexa realised that this was how she had lived since landing on the Earth and how she had probably lived too for the months she was imprisoned on the Ark.

Lexa understood Jaha's motive for wanting to keep the truth from his people about the Ark dying and it seemed as if Clarke only intended to help to save her people by telling them the truth. When she had recounted the story to Lexa it seemed as though it had been the pivotal moment that Clarke's whole life had changed.

She had lost her father, had become a prisoner and had been exiled to Earth all within a short space of time. Clarke had had to grow up very quickly and had no longer had the luxury of feeling safe, even when sleeping. She knew that Clarke lived in constant worry of the next threat to herself and her people. It bothered Lexa more than she cared to admit that she could not seem to ease Clarke's concerns though she tried.

In her own culture they were prepared to deal with dangerous life and death situations from a young age, given how perilous living on the Earth was. They were used to it.

Clarke's breathing was light now and Lexa listened to it's rhythm with fascination. She had not experienced this before. Costia had been one of her own people, their culture had been the same.

Clarke was incredibly foreign to her and yet she felt a connection with her, a trust for her, that she should not have for a stranger. It terrified her but fascinated her in equal measure and she gave a weak smile as she watched over the sky girl as she slept, thinking that she would never let any harm come to this strange creature that had commanded her way into Lexa's life.

 

Presently

Clarke was removing her clothing in front of Lexa who was already naked in the water. This particular pool was fresh and clean and lacked any predators or wildlife. Lexa had frquently bathed in it as a child and it was so often warmed with the sunshine at this time of year and very pleasant to soak in. She inhaled a sharp breath as the last of Clarke's clothing dropped away and she stretched out her hands to guide the blonde as she stepped down into the water.

Clarke waded forward into the water and dipped her head back to immerse herself. Lexa smiled as she watched her, awed at the sight of her as the sunlight glistened on the water as it dripped from her body.

Lexa's lips were pressed tightly together as she waited for Clarke to emerge a few seconds later. Clarke shook her head, her eyes closed and wiped the water from her eyes, blinking before she caught Lexa's gaze.

She wore an innocent smile, that smile that Lexa recognised whenever Clarke experienced some of the joys that the Earth had to offer. She knew that water had been scarce on the ark and that this was why Clarke took such pleasure in baths and swimming, particularly outdoor swimming where she could experience both the sun and the water on her skin.

All these things Lexa has taken for granted growing up, just as she noticed that Clarke's people tended to take their technology for granted in a way that hers never could. Clarke was particularly fond of keeping that gun of hers close by and had shown Lexa a strange device that played music that she carried with her.

"It's so warm," Clarke said beaming with both surprise and joy.

Lexa waded around her, circling close.

"It is the sunlight. It warms the water throughout the day and the water is more pleasant if you choose the right time to bathe."

Clarke smiled and raised her head to stare at the blue sky above her.

"The Earth is nothing like I had imagined. The colours are so vivid. There are colours here that I've never seen before."

Lexa watched Clarke with pure bliss as she gazed wide-eyed with marvel at the scenery. She felt that she always experienced the Earth anew through Clarke's eyes. Environments that had once seemed mundane to Lexa brought her new joy as Clarke experienced them as if through the eyes of a child.

"Like the colour of your eyes," Clarke said in a husky voice as she moved to wrap her arms around Lexa's naked form. "They're such a rich green," she continued. "Sometimes dark, sometimes light, sometimes even a little blue."

"Not as blue as your eyes," Lexa replied staring directly into them.

The colour always captivated her though she wasn't sure why. It was like once she looked into them she could never look away again, transfixed by them.

"And your hair," Clarke continued. "This shade. I don't even know what you'd call it. Chestnut? Light brown?"

Lexa couldn't resist any longer and tilted her head sideways to connect their lips into a kiss. She tilted her head sideways, her body surging forward to slowly press her skin against Clarke's, her hands running down over her lover's soft, attractive body. She connected their hands as they kissed, content just with the feel of Clarke's lips on hers for the moment, thinking that she could kiss her all day and night and never stop.

Clarke pulled back for air and Lexa broke one hand free from Clarke's to touch her. She skimmed Clarke's chin with her fingertips and drew a line all the way down her neck and shoulder and along the edges of her breasts to skim around to her sides. She brushed her fingertips along the skin there and brought her hand down to rest on Clarke's waist.

She felt Clarke's own free hand gently caress and then squeeze her ass and a surge of pleasure shot through her at the gesture. Clarke's hand moved up to rest on her lower back now and Lexa met her lips again, both of them searching for each other's mouths.

"What was that you said earlier about challenging me?" Clarke asked, her husky voice whispering into Lexa's ear.

Clarke ran her hands down to the inside of Lexa's thighs skirting to dip inbetween them. Lexa grabbed her hand immediately.

" _No,"_ she commanded. "I will not let you win so easily."

Clarke stopped, captivated by the authority in Lexa's voice and Lexa pressed their bodies together and began to grind against Clarke. She put one leg in between Clarke's so that their centres would meet as Lexa rubbed against her body, fucking her slowly.

Lexa held her tightly, her hands on Clarke's back now as she held her against the edge of the pool, still pushing forward her hips in circular motions. Their bodies seemed to fit together perfectly, rubbing against each other, their bodies connecting as Lexa fucked her steadily against the side of the pool.

Clarke let out a high pitched sound, much higher than her usual tone as Lexa continued to control the pace between them.

"Lexa. That's good. Don't stop."

"I don't intend to," Lexa said in a deep tone that was almost a whisper.

"That's s-so.."

Clarke made a strangled noise of pleasure and her jaw clenched, her head craned backwards as she began to lose all sense of speech or thought.

"Fuck me. Oh God fuck me"

Clarke rarely ever swore but she couldn't help it now. She could barely think straight, the shuddering of her body shutting out all ability for coherent thought.

She jerked against Lexa and moaned so very loudly that anyone within half a mile might have hears her release.

"God," she said in a deep, dry voice, as she came down slowly from the last spasms of her orgasm. Lexa was breathing deeper but when Clarke met her eyes there was a self-satisfied look on her face.

"You haven't won yet," Clarke said after regaining her breath. "Just wait. On the blanket."

Lexa still wore a satisfied smile as she emerged from the water, Clarke watching with hunger as she followed behind.  As Lexa sat on the blanket, her long athletic legs stretched out on the material and Clarke knew that there was no way she letting Lexa win this one, not after how badly Lexa had beaten her at strip poker.

"There was a reason I rushed to unpack the picnic first," Clarke told her with a mischievous smirk. "I didn't want to spoil the surprise."

Clarke pulled out her warpaint and the outfit she had worn that day she had bowed before Lexa as _Wanheda_. She turned away to apply the paint. It took a few moments to get it right but when she turned back she was wearing her full _Wanheda_ paint and for the first time Lexa could suddenly envisage herself losing this challenge.

Clarke looked so much like she had that day save for her hair, which was blonde dripping with red ends just now and much shorter.

 _She will have to wear her hood on the way back_ Lexa thought.

"You're going to lose this time," Clarke said in a low voice standing over Lexa. "Now kneel."

Lexa obliged and looked up at her with more hunger than Clarke had ever seen.

"Good," said Clarke gazing down at her. "Now lie on your back and spread your legs," 

Lexa lay down quicker than if she had been ordered to at gunpoint and watched as Clarke slowly crawled over her body pushing aside the remants of their food and their drinking cups without care.

"You don't touch me unless I say so," Clarke ordered. "Do you understand?"

Lexa gulped and nodded already eyeing the straps on Clarke's dress and wishing that she could push them down. Clark straddled her, wrapping her thighs around Lexa's body and she began to kiss Lexa on the lips, slipping her tongue inbetween them in a hungry heated frenzy. Clarke kissed under her jaw, kissing along it and down under her neck sloppily, gripping her hands in Lexa's hair as she latched onto the skin there with her lips and sucked. Lexa felt teeth nip her throat lightly, just enough that so it was going to leave a mark and then hands palmed over her breasts and nipples and squeezed gently.

Clarke moved downwards, shuffling slowly back down, her hands holding her body off the ground. Clarke's eyes locked onto hers as she hovered a few inches above Lexa's toned stomach muscles and then held her gaze.

The look was a threat. It was warning Lexa what she was about to do to her and Lexa was dying to touch Clarke back but Clarke now took her hands and pinned them by her sides by the wrists. Lexa could easily escape if she wanted but found herself helpless to move as Clarke pressed a kiss on her stomach and then flicked her tongue there to indicate what was going to happen next.

Lexa closed her eyes and Clarke dove right into her with her mouth. She could feel herself coming right away, the slow build up Clarke had punished her with, pushing her into new heights of ecstasy. She gasped and groaned and arched her back and lifted her hips and gripped Clarke's back with her lower legs and then her body jerked upwards lifting off the ground, Clarke followed it upwards but kept her face firmly buried there as Lexa cried out, actually cried out, in a high girlish tone with release, her body spasming against Clarke with abandon.

She felt like she was floating for a moment, almost as if she was in space. She was breathing rapidly and her body jerked a few more times, another couple of orgasms hitting her and then another and then another as Clarke kept going and Lexa's body kept responding until she could take no more and Clarke pulled away.

Lexa could not even find words but just whimpered as she fell back down to the Earth. Her eyes were still closed and she felt Clarke shuffle up beside her and put a protective arm around her stomach. Lexa shuddered at the touch unable to move or to do anything.

"Did I win?" Clarke whispered in her ear after a while.

Lexa opened her eyes sleepily. The facepaint was smudged badly and was likely all over her inner thighs by now. They would have to wash again before they left. Lexa huffed unable to verbally respond, her body craving a respite.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Clarke cuddled up to her, resting her head on Lexa's and watched her fall asleep in her arms and Lexa never wanted the moment to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Niron - lover/near one  
> Pauna - Mutated gorilla  
> Wanheda - Commander of Death


	22. Normal is Overrated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke get some much needed rest while Anya and Raven discuss what happens when they get back to Polis. Raven's leg has some trouble and Anya get's overprotective.

The horse cantered forward at first as they rode back to the hut. When it slowed down to barely a trot, Clarke noticed Lexa's head nodding forward. She was falling asleep on horseback.

"Lexa!"

Clarke nudged her gently and Lexa straightened up.

"What is it?"

"You're falling asleep. You'll fall off the horse."

"I'm fine."

Lexa yawned and Clarke frowned.

"Let's switch then you can rest a while."

"If you wish Clarke."

That she had given in so easily to her suggestion showed just how tired she was and they switched in the saddle so that Clarke was in front. Lexa immediately leaned forward against Clarke's back, her head resting on her shoulder, her arms around her waist. Clarke felt the warmth of her body against her own and Lexa's soft breath on her neck as she slept. Clarke worried for a second that she still might fall off but she felt Lexa stir and knew that she was only in a light sleep.

Clarke kept her hands on the reins but desperately wanted to close her eyes too, the feeling of Lexa's breath exhaling on her neck deepening her love for the woman even more. She loved everything about her. Her presence, her voice, her eyes, the sweet smiles she gave Clarke and only Clarke. She had never seen her smile in that way for anyone else. It filled her heart to realise that she felt this only for her.

 _Leksa kom trikru_ she thought. _What did I ever do without you? You have changed my life._

When they arrived at the hut, Lexa awoke and Clarke immediately missed the feeling of Lexa slumbering on her.

They dismounted and went inside. Octavia was waiting there already. It was beginning to get dark. They had spent half the day at their hidden spot.

"Is the plan in place?" Lexa asked in a commanding tone, trying to mask her fatigue

Octavia as always seemed a little unsure in her presence.

"Yes. Everything is ready. They'll find the bottle when they are on rotation tomorrow night. Bellamy will distract Jaha and I'll sneak in when they're knocked out."

"This is Monty's moonshine?" Lexa queried in a deep tone.

Octavia nodded.

"Yes."

Lexa raised her head meeting Octavia's eyes.

"Then it will be effective I'm sure. Make sure you are ready Octavia."

"I will be," Octavia said with a nod.

Lexa raised her hands to dismiss her, immediately reverting back to her commander mode by habit. She had been just Lexa for the time they had been there but now she neared her goal Clarke saw more of the commander returning.

When Octavia left, Lexa dropped all sense of propriety and went straight to lie on the couch with a sigh. She lay on her side and fell fast asleep immediately. Clarke brushed her hair back from her face and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. She took off her jacket and placed it over the sleeping girl and then remembered that she had to re-dye her hair.

Anya walked in at that moment and took a look at Lexa and then at Clarke. Her hair was loose and a little wild and Clarke was sure Raven was still in the bedroom the shared and was the cause of the unrulyness of her appearance.

"What did you do to her?" Anya asked her expression deadpan.

Clarke didn't reply but just turned her head to the side and took another glance at her sleeping love who slept peacefully on her side, her face a picture of beauty and grace.

"She is so beautiful," Clarke murmoured.

Anya shot a look at her and Clarke realised that she had spoken aloud and avoided her gaze. Anya moved to stand by her side.

"I was wrong about you," Anya said towering beside her. "You _do_ love her."

Clarke glanced at her, raising her eyes slightly.

"I do," she said nodding her head. "Very much."

"Then you and I are family," Anya told her.

Clarke turned her head to meet her eyes.

" _Seingeda_ ," Clarke said.

" _Seingeda_." Anya agreed.

The word repeated itself in Clarke's mind and in her heart meaning more to her than anything. Anya exited the room taking two apples off the table with her and Clarke unpacked the saddle bag.

"I told you she just needed time."

Lexa's voice was low and quiet. Clarke turned to see that her eyes were wide open and staring at her.

"I thought you were asleep."

"Not until you join me," Lexa replied.

One corner of Clarke's mouth curved into a soft smile and she moved over to Lexa. The woman shuffled and made room for her. Clarke lay down on the couch in front of her and felt Lexa's safe arms wrap around her.

 _"Ai hodness_ ," Lexa murmoured, kissing the back of her neck tenderly. " _Ai hod yu in bitam. Feva ain._ "

She held Clarke tightly as she whispered sweet words in her ear over and over. Clarke felt safer in her embrace than anywhere in the world and the words filled her with a sense of love and belonging. She almost wanted to cry she felt so happy. Instead she curled up and gave in to Lexa's protective embrace not sure what she had done to deserve such a caring lover.

" _Feva yun_ ," she murmoured in reply. " _Feva_."

 

"One more day and we get out of this place and back to normal," Raven said as Anya returned to the bedroom.

Raven was in a sitting position, getting dressed. Anya threw her an apple and she caught it easily.

"You don't seem thrilled about that," Raven said sarcastically. "What's up?"

Anya was hovering around as if she was back on guard duty, still as a statue. She avoided the brunette's eyes.

"Come on. Spill."

Anya caught her gaze. It was curious and searching.

"What happens to us when we return? Does this end here?"

Raven shifted on the bed, her leg free from the brace that normally bound it.

"Do you want it to end?" Raven asked immediately on the defensive.

There is that look again thought Anya. The one that pleads 'don't leave me'.

"No," she admitted. "I have enjoyed our time together."

A small smile formed on Raven's lips, the smile growing wider.

"I told you that I would rock your world."

Anya blinked and rolled her eyes but her lips were twitching at the corners, a smile threatening to form.

"So... Polis. We can just take it slowly and see how it pans out."

Anya frowned in confusion. So many of the sky girl's phrases were unfamiliar to her. Raven seemed to realise and correct herself.

"It means we'll see what happens."

"I think it's too late for that," Anya replied. "We have enjoyed each other's bodies multiple times. I don't know how we can forget that it happened."

"No I didn't mean-"

Raven shook her head. Anya was not getting this. She stood up off the bed not resting her weight on her leg and closed the gap between them. Her leg was hurting badly. She had not been keeping up her physical therapy and she was beginning to regret it as the pain shot through her.

"You are in pain," Anya said with concern.

Her eyes scanned over Raven's leg as she observed the difficulty she had in moving it now.

"Forget about that for now. We need to fix this. I didn't mean we stop sleeping together. I meant that we just carry on as we have been and take it from there."

Anya was listening but she was clearly distracted by the leg.

"You need to see Clarke. You are clearly in pain."

"Listen I can-".

Anya suddenly put her arms under Raven's torso and legs and lifted her clean off the ground. She seemed to hold her up easily, her arms much stronger than they appeared.

"An! I don't need-"

"A warrior accepts the limits of their body. There is no need for shame. It will not take long."

Her calm voice silenced Raven. Raven stared up at her a sideways grin appearing on her lips.

"You know if you wanted to go another round with me you could've just asked," she said flirtaciously.

"Quiet. You know that is not what this is about."

Anya sounded completely serious if you didn't understand her dry manner of speaking. At first Raven had thought her rude but she now understood that this was how Anya talked to everyone and that she just wasn't much of a talker by nature.

She carried Raven in her arms into the living area where Clarke and Lexa were sleeping, curled up closely together with Lexa's protective arms around the blonde.

"Aww. Look at Griff and her girl being all sweet. It's almost too much."

Anya frowned.

"Clarke of the sky people!"

Clarke jerked awake immediately to a half-sitting, half-lying position and Raven shot a look at Anya as if to ask 'what the hell?'. Lexa stirred too, yawning and sitting up behind Clarke, one hand placed on her back.

"What's wrong?" Clarke asked, her blue eyes immediately full of concern.

"Raven is in pain. She needs medical attention. Her leg..."

Lexa glared at Anya but said nothing as if understanding Anya's feelings for Raven ran deep. Clarke sat up fully and motioned for her to lie Raven down.

"You can use the couch," said Lexa. "I will go to our bed."

Clarke turned her head back slightly to respond.

"I'll be there shortly."

Lexa's eyes focussed on her and then she leaned forward and kissed the top of Clarke's shoulder.

"Don't take too long," she said under her breath.

Clarke sighed as she watched her leave the room, their tranquility broken and got up. She motioned for Anya to place Raven on the couch.

"You know I can sit up," Raven teased.

Anya and Clarke both ignored her teasing, Clarke sitting at the other end of the couch and examining the leg over her own knee. Her hands skimmed the skin there and she tested the muscles and joint movement. Anya hovered protectively behind Clarke casting a shadow over her.

"Um. You need to move back. I can't work if I can't see."

"Snappy Griff? Did we disturb your happy couple time?"

Clarke didn't reply a little disgruntled at having been woken so abruptly.

"She could've just shaken me awake," she said under her breath.

"She needed immediate attention."

Clarke gave her an exhasparated look. She was too tired to explain just why Raven's condition didn't qualify as needing 'immediate attention' compared to real medical emergencies and she suspected that Anya well knew the difference and was just being protective.

"She's just being the protective girlfriend. She's very attached to me. You know the women just can't resist me."

Clarke couldn't help but grin.

"You're spending a lot of time down there. I know I have hot legs but don't forget about your hot grounder girlfriend. I don't have time to to run away with you."

Anya made a noise something akin to a snort.

"You know if Lexa hears you flirting with me even as a joke, she'll kill you right?"

"Nah," Raven said with a shrug. "Grounder women love me. They can't get enough of me."

She caught Anya's eyes, tilting her head and staring back into to them with a grin. It was a challenge for Anya to correct her. When Anya didn't, Raven grinned wider knowing that she was right.

"It's fine. You just need to keep off your leg as much as possible for a few days. We need to do your physio every day for at least a week. You haven't been keeping up the exercises."

"I've had plenty of exercise," Raven said giving Anya a wink.

"Not the right kind," Clarke replied, all business now. "And certainly not tonight. Give your leg a rest."

Clarke shifted her leg from her knee and stood up and faced Anya.

"Make sure she rests it properly. It'll be fine again soon."

"Thank you."

Clarke nodded, still tired and headed straight for the bedroom.

"See. You were worrying for nothing," Raven teased.

"Are you hungry?"

"Starving. I guess you're making dinner seeing as I'm on bed rest."

"I will find somehing. Stay there."

Raven laughed.

"As if I have much of a choice."

 

When Clarke entered the bedroom, she was half undressed already, undressing as quickly as possible, wanting to return to her peaceful sleep that had been so abruptly interrupted. When she was undressed, Lexa lifted the covers, allowing her space to climb into bed. Lexa's arms slid around her waist and Clarke shifted her head on the pillow to get comfortable.

"How is Raven?"

"Anya is watching her," Clarke said. "She"ll be fine. They've just been overdoing it and forgetting her physio."

"Anya is in love with her."

"It seems so. Raven was practically bragging about it right in front of her."

Lexa shifted her body closer, drawing gentle lines across Clarke's lower abdomen.

"It is not like her to fall for them but I can see the appeal."

"Do I need to be worried about you and Raven?" Clarke teased.

Lexa pressed a kiss to the back of her neck and pulled her closer.

"You know that you don't."

"I guess she is pretty attractive..."

Lexa growled into the back of her neck.

"I would kill her if she even tried."

"We really need to work on that jealousy of yours," Clarke replied.

She wore a smile that Lexa could not see but her tone was light.

"No we don't."

Clarke smiled broadly now and shifted to get more comfortable. She closed her eyes to fall back asleep thinking to herself that she really didn't mind Lexa's occassional jealousy. Lexa never tried to control her or act as if she wasn't her own person.

"We should try to sleep. Everything starts to go back to normal after tomorrow."

"Mmmm...," Lexa replied. "Back to normal."

Lexa didn't have to voice it aloud. Clarke could practically hear what she was thinking. It was the same thought that Clarke had.

_Normal is overrated. This is better._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leksa Kom Trikru - Lexa from the tree clan  
> Seingeda - family  
> Ai hodness - My love  
> Ai hod yu in bitam - I love you very much  
> Feva ain - Forever mine  
> Feva yun - Forever yours


	23. Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia is suprised by a familiar face, plans go awry and Clarke and Lexa get an unexpected visitor.

Octavia opened the door to find the two guards drunken and passed out. She crept past them easily and into the hut, making no sound as she moved. They were slumped over a table and so far gone that they didn't even stir once.

Octavia moved past them into the other room to see what they had been guarding.

"The supplies," she muttered under her breath as she glanced around the room.

There were stacks of food and bottled water, enough to last for months. Octavia picked up and examined some of it. A lot of it looked like it had been stolen Arkadia. Jaha must have has someone stealing it for him in secret.

Octavia started opening packets and throwing it on the floor in the centre. She emptied bottles of water and destroyed all that she could. She opened the small flask she had with her and poured it around the room.

 _I'll have to drag the guards outside_ she thought. _Man destroying all this good food will be a waste._

It was necessary to their plan to destroy it so Octavia relented with her task. Once enough alcohol was scattered around the room Octavia dragged both guards outside with difficulty, both of them pretty heavy.

She returned and readied herself to start a fire with the small lighter that Raven had created for her. She was about to stand back and drop the flame when she heard a sound coming from one of the bedrooms. It was high pitched and sounded like someone struggling. Octavia listened for a moment then heard banging. The sound repeated four times and then stopped, then another three and stopped.

Octavia drew her sword and walked towards the bedroom. She readied herself and then turned straight into the room and found herself staring into two familiar blue eyes.

"Madi!" she rasped.

The girl stared back at her. She was tied to a wooden chair, her hair mussed and her face scratched, her grey eyes lit up with surprise. Octavia rushed forward and untied her.

"What are you doing here? How long have you been here?"

Octavia removed her cloth gag.

"Watch out!"

Octavia turned and heard a click. Jaha was behind her with two men she recognised from Arkadia. They both held guns as Jaha calmly addressed her.

"Put it down."

She glared at him ferociously wanting nothing more than to swing her sword at him.

"Down. _Now_ , or she gets hurt."

Octavia's eyes darted to Madi and then back to Jaha and his guards. She slowly lowered the sword and placed it on the ground.

"If you're here then I'm guessing you're not alone. Who else is here?"

Octavia spat at his feet.

"Go to hell."

Jaha didn't seem affected by her hatred.

"Tie her up," he ordered calmly. "Send someone to clean up the supplies after your done. Someone trustworthy."

Octavia's eyes burned into him. She knew that she was beaten for now. She had to hope that Clarke would realise something was wrong when she didn't return.

"I wish Bellamy had've murdered you when he had the chance."

Jaha met her eyes.

"You should've joined me Octavia. Clarke and Lexa will be the end of us all."

"There's been nothing but peace for the last year. You are the only one threatening that."

"I saw it," Jaha replied his eyes focussed on the distance. "That day Clarke pulled a gun on us to save Lexa. She choose her over our people. I saw it then. Clarke would betray us. Together they would be the end of us all. Then they stopped me from reaching the city of light. It was my destiny to find it. To save us. I dreamt it."

Octavia scoffed.

"You started a rebellion over a dream. You're _insane_."

Jaha smiled as if he knew the secret to everything.

"Great leaders in history are always viewed by their people as crazy."

Octavia saw the truth then. He had lost it. He beleived that he was chose, special. Lexa had been right when she described him as a zealot. The commander had seen it right from the start.

Jaha believed that he was some destined saviour of his people. He couldn't deal with not being the leader anymore. He needed a cause to justify his actions or else Wells' death was for nothing. He _had_ to believe that his actions were predestined to alleviate the guilt.

"Something's wrong. She should've reported back yet."

Clarke paced nervously in the hut she shared with Lexa. Octavia had been gone for a while now and there was no sign or her or any fire in the village.

"We must be patient. She has not been gone long," Anya replied.

"It's been long _enough_."

Clarke spun her head around to Anya who was sat on the couch, Raven's legs over her lap. Lexa entered the room dressed now in her normal commander clothes minus warpaint or the sacred symbol. Clarke had not redyed her hair yet but her blonde hair was still tipped red.

"Is she not back yet?" Lexa asked with concern.

Clarke shook her head as their eyes met. Both saw their own concern mirrored back in each other's gaze. Something wasn't right.

"I'm going," said Clarke grabbing her headscarf off the table.

"Wait!" Lexa urged grabbing her wrist.

Her fingers were soft of Clarke's skin, her grip firm but not too hard.

"Do you hear that?" she asked.

Everyone went silent.

"Footsteps," said Anya. "Someone's coming. Hide. I will talk to them."

Lexa and Clarke exited the room quickly and closed the door. They went into the bedroom.

"Where are you going? Clarke!"

Lexa watched as Clarke marched towards the door to then living room. She leaned against the door, ears pressed to the wood to listen as Lexa tried in vain to urge her back into hiding in the bedroom and back to safety. She heard a knock at the door and Anya letting someone in. No greeting were exchanged.

"Come out Clarke. I know you are here."

It was Jaha's voice. Clarke had heard it but she knew that Lexa hadn't. She took a glance back at her lover with sadness and then went out into the other room, Lexa calling after her.

Jaha held a gun to Raven's head. Another guard held Anya at gunpoint. Three more circled them with guns.

"Stop," Clarke ordered, aware that Lexa was probably on the other side of the door listening now.

She desperately hoped that Lexa stayed where she was. With all the guns, she stood no chance of fighting them. If Lexa rushed in now she would get injured or worse. She felt sick at the thought.

_She couldn't-_

Clarke's heart was pounding as she faced them. One wrong move and they could all die.

"No one needs to get hurt Clarke. Surrender yourself. We have your Octavia and your daughter too. Give up and I won't hurt them."

Clarke's eyes widened at the knowledge that he had Madi. She glared at him as she refocussed caught between worry and rage.

_If they had hurt Madi..._

_If they dared..._

_She would kill them with her bare hands._

She gritted her teeth and raised her hands.

"Okay, I surrender."

A guard rushed forward to take her and bind her hands. Jaha walked around the room as if observing it and then turned towards the door.

"Commander Lexa! They all die tomorrow at midday if you do not surrender yourself in the centre of the village in front of your people. You will renounce all claim to lead or I will kill everyone you care about, including your nightblood."

"No!" Clarke yelled, struggling as two guards tried to hold her back. "You said you wouldn't hurt them! No! Let me go!"

"Tomorrow. Midday. Your command or the people you care about. It's your choice."

When everything went quiet, it took everything in Lexa not to charge straight after them. She hit the door with a scream, her fists clenched tightly. Her heart pounded fast but her head told her to think. She had to think clearly. If she rushed straight in Jaha would just shoot her and everyone else. He would kill Clarke. He would kill Anya and Raven. He would kill Madi.

She was the commander. She had to be smart no matter how much she was filled with dread. No matter how much it tore her apart to do nothing as they took away the woman she loved kicking and screaming, the sound haunting her.

 

"Madi. Did they hurt you?"

When Clarke saw Madi in the room, alive and well she thought of nothing but her child's safety first. Madi was tied to a chair, Clarke and the others bound and forced into the room where Octavia and Madi were already held.

"You're bleeding," Madi said softly.

Clarke felt the blood dripping down the side of her face. She had struggled hard and one of them had hit her on the side of the head to try to subdue her. It hadn't been hard enough to knock her out but it hurt and dazed her.

"It's nothing. Did they hurt you?"

"No. Clarke I'm so sorry. When you didn't come back I tried to follow you. This is my fault."

Clarke raised her head determinedly.

" _Listen_. This is not your fault. Jaha did this _not you_. He's the one the blame."

"I-is Lexa?"

The girl faltered and Clarke knew what she was asking. Lexa wasn't with them and Madi knew that she wouldn't go down without a fight.She feared the worst. 

"No. Don't worry. We'll get out of this. Lexa is fine."

Deep in her own heart Clarke was terrified for Lexa and what was going to happen come midday but she wanted to keep Madi from being scared and that was more important than her own fears.

"How exactly are we going to get out of this?" Raven asked with a whisper.

"I don't know," said Clarke in a low voice, watching Madi from the corner of her eye. "But we can't let her be scared. Whatever happens, Madi _must_ survive."

_My daughter will survive._

She felt Anya's knowing eyes on her. Anya understood exactly what she was saying. She would die before she let Jaha hurt Madi. Clarke glanced at her daughter, the worry both for her daughter and future wife gnawing at her. Her emotions were in turmoil but Madi needed her and Madi came first above all else, even her people. The thought of losing her and Lexa brought her close to breaking.

_I have to stay together. Madi needs me._

She repeated the mantra in her head. 

"Lexa will find a way to defeat him," Anya said noticing her worry. "She is very resourceful. She will outsmart him."

"How?" Clarke asked under her breath.

Clarke felt Anya's hand on her shoulder. It was such an unexpected gesture that she turned towards her and met her eyes.

"She will find a way. Have faith in her."

"Sometimes duty calls us away from those we love. We must trust her to return as she trusts us," said Madi suddenly, clearly eavesdropping. 

Clarke's eyes widened as she recognised Lexa's tone in the words and realised that Lexa must've had talked to Madi about this while she was at Arkadia. She turned her head away, so Madi could not see her breaking and she shook her head, blinking as she suppressed the warring emotions within her.

"You are right _yongun_ ," Anya said. "We must trust her."

_Trust her._

Clarke's thoughts echoed the words holding onto them. 

_She will find a way._

_She will defeat him._

_She has to.  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yongun - child (usually one's own child but used by Anya here as a term of endearment)


	24. Showdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Jaha come face to face.
> 
> *Sorry to leave it on a cliffhanger but I've already started writing the next chapter so it won't be long.

Lexa stepped out into the centre of the village surrounded by guns. She was in full commander armour, her face masked with warpaint and her head held high.

"Jaha," she said, clenching her jaw.

Clarke, Madi, Anya, Raven and Octavia were all on their knees. Jaha's followers held guns to their heads. Lexa met Clarke's eyes. They were full of both worry and fierce determination.

Clarke glanced once at Madi and Lexa read the message there in her gaze and nodded.

_Protect Madi first._

Lexa understood. They were responsible for her. Parents put their child first above all else.

"Do you surrender yourself and your leadership?"

Lexa kept her gaze cold, her face a mask. She observed the cut on the side of Clarke's face with calm fury. Madi seemed uninjured but just the knowledge that they had been keep her hostage filled her with intense rage.

"No," she said, finally answering his question.

She turned to meet his eyes.

"You are the one who will surrender."

Jaha observed her reply curiously. He clearly hadn't expected it.

"You will start by releasing _Wanheda_ and my people and returning the village you have taken. Then you will be taken back to Polis and imprisoned for your treachery."

"You are not in a position to negotiate. You're surrounded. We have your loved ones at gunpoint."

Lexa remained calm as she stepped closer, eyeing the guns around her.

"You are not the commander. You have no right to lead. We have laws and you have broken them."

"Laws that you changed. You turned your back on your own people when you let _Wanheda_ strip away your death penalty. You even changed the ritual to decide the next commander."

Jaha turned and addressed his people and Lexa knew what he was doing. He was trying to keep the people on his side. It was exactly as she had anticipated. Zealots needed followers.

"Who will you follow? A commander who betrays you for her own selfish desires or someone who will stay true to your people and make your lives better?"

Lexa sneered then relaxed her expression trying to appear unmoved by his speech.

"You talk of turning your back on your people but you let 300 of your people offer their lives to save your own and ignored a solution. They died thinking that there was no other choice when all along you knew that there was another option."

Jaha's confidence faltered, doubt flickering in her deep brown eyes.

"There was no other way."

"There was," said Lexa."You only had to wait. Your own doctor begged you to because she knew that the your people could survive here on Earth. You wouldn't listen."

Jaha shook his head, arguing against her and Lexa took another step forward noticing the hesitation in his followers, their guns slowly lowering.

"And you hid the truth from your own people, murdering one of your own best friends because he wanted to tell his people that your ship's systems were failing."

Jaha disagreed but Lexa persisted.

"Jake Griffin was your friend was he not? Yet you executed him in cold blood to protect your secret."

The guns lowered further and Lexa turned to address the crowd.

"He pretends to care for you and talks of betrayal but he sent his own son to die to find out if our land was survivable for his people. What kind of leader kills his only son to save his own life?"

"It wasn't for me. We had to know if we could survive here. Our people were dying."

Jaha was visibly distraught now, the mention of his son weakening his confidence. She saw it in his eyes. He needed to justify his actions to keep him from accepting the guilt.

He sent his son to die and had to believe that he hadn't made a mistake. The culling and Well's death only made sense to him if his actions were justified.

"And yet you still chose to send your son to his death. Even Wells disagreed with your choices didn't he? What would he think of you threatening his best friend's life? Would he be proud of you?"

"Don't talk about him! I lost my son! My _son_! You can't understand what I had to do."

He was losing his people. They followed him because had seemed strong and calm. Just the mention of Wells unraveled that. He snatched a gun from one of his men, the one holding Clarke and pointed it directly at Lexa. Lexa only hoped that Clarke understood what she was doing and didn't act rashly.

The gun was directly pointed at her but Jaha was struggling with the action. He knew that if he directly killed her in this way, her people would think him weak. Commanders were challenged to single combat. A challenge for leadership in this manner never happened.

"He talks of protecting our ways but everything he has done has gone against them. He has not challenged me to _soulou gonplei_ as a true warrior would. He has used guns like a mountain men would."

Lexa spoke loudly to make sure that everyone could hear her words.

"He is no better than those people who stole our people and created the reapers. This is not our way."

"Be quiet commander or I will kill you," Jaha warned. 

"He has lied to you. He is the one who has betrayed his people over and over again. He stole supplies from his own people. He urged you to attack one of his own. He threatens one of our _natblidas_ lives right now. You cannot trust the loyalty of a man who has no loyalty to his own kind."

Lexa saw the man standing over Madi lower his gun further as if in shame. He lowered his eyes and backed away from the girl. Lexa felt immediate relief at the action, just glad that Madi seemed okay.

"You think that this is over," said Jaha. "But I can take what you love away from you."

He swung the gun towards Clarke and pointed it at her head. Lexa pressed her lips toward, her jaw clenching.

"You don't have to do this," she whispered. "Clarke is not at fault here."

Jaha seemed determined. Lexa believed him capable of killing her. She had seen his cruelty in that moment when she had first met him. He had acted nicely at first but when he had taken the chance he had put a knife to her throat, willing to kill her to save himself.

"Your son cared for her. Attack me all you want but he would not have wanted Clarke to be harmed."

"Let her go!"

Suddenly Madi surged forward and pushed Jaha and the gun went off.

"Madi!" Clarke screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanheda - Commander of death  
> Soulou gonplei - Single combat  
> Natblidas - Nightbleeders


	25. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa recover from the day's events and try to figure out how to move forward with Madi. Anya and Raven find out a few secrets and babysit.

Lexa surged forward immediately and disarmed Jaha. She pushed the gun upwards with force, slamming his chin. He fell backwards knocked out and Lexa turned back to Madi with horror.

Clarke ran over to her distraught but the young nightblood was awake and sat up, black blood dripping from her shoulder. Clarke was checking her over. 

"It's just a graze," she told Lexa with notable relief in her voice.

She turned back to Madi.

"What were you thinking? He could have killed you!"

"He was going to kill you," Madi replied, her grey eyes focussed on Clarke.

She was so brave and determined that Lexa just wanted to hug her. Knowing that she was her little sister made her even more protective of Madi but she had to address the village first. This had to end.

"This rebellion is over," Lexa said confidently "Leave your weapons on the ground and return to your people and you will be spared this time. Attack again and the armies of the thirteen clans will destroy you all."

Jaha's followers looked scared now. Most of them back away, leaving the guns on the ground but a few of _skaikru_ still held theirs.

"Put them down," Clarke ordered.

"Do as she says," Bellamy said appearing from the crowd holding a gun.

The _skaikru_ members obeyed them and it was over.

"Our _heda_ has returned our village," said Niro. "Long live _heda Leksa_."

The villagers cheered and Lexa felt a sense of pride at restoring her home village. These were her people and she had given them back her homes.

"Let's get her home," Clarke said quietly.

"I'll untie the others," said Bellamy. "Go take care of her."

Clarke nodded and ushered Madi away. Lexa followed her, just us hurriedly both deeply concerned for their child.

 

 

"What where you _thinking_ Madi? You can't act without thinking like _that_. Running away from _Polis_. Throwing yourself at someone with a _gun_! You could've been _killed_."

Clarke and Lexa were in their hut now, Madi sitting on the couch while Clarke bandaged her shoulder. Madi winced and glanced at Lexa who was standing up in front of them. Her eyes were pleading for her to save her from Clarke's lecture.

"She's right," said Lexa. "I was getting through to him. Another moment and I would have been close enough to disable him."

"Don't ever do that again! Do you hear me? _Never_."

"I'm sorry Clarke," Madi replied with a sigh. "I was afraid he would shoot you."

Clarke cupped her face and placed a desperate kiss on the forehead and then got to her feet.

"I'm going to get more bandages," she said diverting her eyes.

Clarke got up and strode towards her room.

"I didn't mean to anger her. I just wanted to protect her."

Lexa smiled at Madi warmly.

"You were very brave. She is just upset because she was scared."

"Clarke is never scared of anything," Madi replied, raising her eyebrows.

Lexa kneeled down in front of her and Madi seemed surprised by the action. A commander wasn't ever supposed to kneel. She put her hands on Madi's shoulders reassuringly.

"She's scared of losing you just like I am. We love you. We can't lose you."

Lexa put her arms around Madi and hugged her tightly.

"I love you too," Madi replied.

Lexa pulled back and turned as she noticed Clarke watching them both from the doorway. She had a soft smile on her face and a tender look in her eyes.

"Are you mad at me?" Madi asked.

Clarke rushed over to sit on the couch beside her and put her arm around her and Lexa moved to sit on the other side of Madi.

"No honey. You just scared me. Promise me that you'll never do that again."

Madi nodded.

"I promise." Clarke hugged her tightly.

"Can I go and eat now? I'm kinda hungry."

Clarke wanted to laugh at how calm she was given the situation. She was definitely related to Lexa.

"There's food in the other room in the supply bag."

Clarke let her go and watched her sail happily off into the other room. She turned to Lexa who was watching her.

"She got shot."

"I know Clarke."

Clarke was close to tears. Lexa knew that's why she had left the room earlier. She hadn't wanted Madi to see her break.

"Jaha could've killed her and you. He had a gun to your head."

She shook her head, her eyes filling.

"You could've... I could've..."

Clarke shook her head again and Lexa closed the gap betwen them and put her arms around her, holding her tight. She rested her chin on Clarke's head as the girl broke down into sobs. Her instinct as a mother was to protect Madi at any cost. 

"I was so scared that I would lose you both."

Lexa held her and hummed a tune, the same one that Clarke had hummed to her after her nightmare. Clarke quietened at the sound of it and calmed in her arms. Lexa held her there, soothing her fears and worries.

"You have a nice voice," Clarke whispered against her skin. "It's sweet."

"I was scared for you too. All I could picture was losing you. I couldn't go through that again."

"You saved us. You got them to turn away from him. You're amazing Lexa."

Clarke raised her head and they gazed into each other's eyes.

"Amazing," she repeated.

Clarke leaned forward and pressed her lips onto Lexa's, drawing her into a sweet, desperate kiss. It was hurried and hungry, born out of relief that they were still both okay, that they hadn't lost each other.

"Will we marry when we return," Lexa said breaking the kiss but keeping their foreheads touching. "We can't wait any longer. It's time."

"We'll make arrangements when we get back. We'll do it as soon as possible. I don't want to wait either. I want to marry you as soon as I can."

" _Ai hodness. Ai niron. Ai hod yu in._ "

Lexa started kissing under her jaw, murmouring the words inbetween unable to keep herself from kissing every part of her soft skin.

"We should tell her," Clarke said in a husky voice, pulling back a little.

"About the bonding ceremony?"

"That she's yours her sister. She has a right to know."

Lexa kissed Clarke once more on her cheek, brushing her fingers along her jaw and neck tenderly.

"You're right. We should tell her before we leave. We'll head back to Polis tomorrow."

Lexa pulled back and Clarke nodded.

"I really going to miss this place."

"I'm going to miss our picnics."

Clarke smirked.

"We can still have picnics in Polis. We'll find a spot."

Lexa sighed.

"Being back here reminded me of who I was before I was the commander. Sharing it with you was - I enjoyed it."

Clarke couldn't hold back a laugh.

"Oh I bet you did. I still have the bite mark on my neck to prove it."

Clarke pulled her collar down to show her the fading yellowish bruise. Lexa raised an eyebrow.

"You clearly enjoyed it too."

She pulled down her top at the shoulder and revealed several marks all over her neck and collarbone.

"Oh. I didn't realise I was that bad."

Clarke was a little embarrassed at the lack of restraint she had shown in their lovemaking. They both heard Madi returning and pulled up their collars quickly to hide the evidence of their time together.

Madi stopped and stared at them realising that she had interrupted something.

"You weren't kissing again were you? You're always kissing. It's gross."

Clarke raised an eyebrow in warning but still smiled broadly.

"Madi. Come here. We have something to tell you. In fact we have two things to tell you."

Madi hovered in front of them awkwardly.

Clarke and Lexa shared a look not sure how exactly to tell her.

"I'll er start. About your parents-".

Anya and Raven burst into the hut not even knocking and the moment was lost. Clarke turned away, trying to hide her tension and Lexa slipped her hand over Clarke's and squeezed it.

"Later," she whispered.

Clarke nodded silently.

"There's the hero of the day!" Raven exclaimed with a grin.

Madi smiled back, her eyes lighting up at the praise.

"She was foolish," Anya said. "Brave but foolish. She needs much more training is she is to be _heda_ one day."

Madi's smile disappeared and she pressed her lips together with a frown in a very similar manner to Lexa did when she was biting her tongue.

"She saved Clarke," said Lexa suddenly standing beside Madi and placing on arm around her shoulder. "She is a true warrior and she will be a great commander."

Madi grinned, glancing up at Lexa who smiled back warmly. Anya glanced between the two of them and then at Clarke. Clarke noticed immediately and got to her feet.

"Madi. Go and wash up before dinner."

"I already ate."

"This is not up for discussion. Now."

Madi groaned and headed back into the other room.

"Who is that child?" asked Anya suspiciously.

Clarke moved to shut the door to make sure Madi did not interrupt the conversation.

"Madi?" replied Raven. "She's our little badass nightblood."

"You cannot tell me that you do not see the resemblance Raven."

Raven frowned and shook her head.

"Resemblance?"

Lexa and Clarke said nothing.

"I trained you as a child Lexa. I see it. She is very much like you were at that age."

Raven's jaw dropped as she gaped at Lexa.

"You have a lovechild! Who's the dad? I thought you only liked women!"

"Keep your voice down," Clarke chided remembering Madi in the next room. "She can't hear. She's not Lexa's lovechild."

Anya stared at Lexa who stayed firm in her position. Clarke stood up beside her, the two women both refusing to answer.

"Who is she Clarke?"

Clarke glanced at Lexa.

"We can trust them," she said in a low voice, her head tilted towards Lexa's.

"We have not even told Madi yet."

Raven huffed.

"Just tell us! We won't say anything."

Lexa eyed the two women in front of her suspiciously.

"She is my youger sister," Lexa told them her head raised as she spoke.

"She doesn't know yet," said Clarke keeping her voice low. "We were just about to tell her. You can't say a word to anyone. Not a _word_."

Anya's eyes were firmly fixed on Lexa.

"You never mentioned this before. I thought your family all dead."

"We only just found out. A friend of my family, Niro, he still lives here. He told me of her existence. We did not know when we saved her from Ontari."

Raven tilted her head sideways, one hand on Anya's shoulder.

"Damn... A mini Lexa running around. That explains why she is so fierce. Must be genetic."

"You have no idea," Clarke mumbled.

Anya still held Lexa's gaze as if gauging her reactions to the whole situation.

"Your enemies will target her if they know who she is."

"We know," replied Lexa.

"Will you tell her before the bonding ceremony?"

Raven's eyes widened and she looked from Clarke to Lexa with excitement. 

"You're getting married!"

"Keep your voice down. We want to tell her ourselves," Clarke warned.

She glanced towards the door hoping that Madi wasn't listening.

"You're getting married," Raven repeated in a low voice.

"Congrats! I am soo going to get you a stripper."

"No strippers Raven!"

Lexa turned her head towards Clarke in confusion.

"What are-?" Lexa began.

"I'll tell you later. You won't like it. Anyway. I better go and talk to the others and check on Jaha. Bellamy will have him contained but I don't want to take any chances."

"I will join you. We must address the village before we leave. Anya will guard Madi until we return."

Clarke noticed the commander part of Lexa was beginning to reassert itself more and more.

"Watch her carefully. She's quick and rebellious. She'll be out of sight before you can blink."

Anya gave a Lexa a look as if to say 'of course she is'.

"Don't worry. I've had experience with those sort of children."

Clarke smiled suddenly amused.

"Were you a handful Lexa?"

"You have no idea," said Anya.

Lexa averted her eyes as if embarrassed.

"I will protect her with my life. Go."

Clarke and Lexa exited the hut leaving Raven and Anya alone.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me they were getting married," Raven said suddenly in a teasing tone. "I thought we were close."

Anya huffed.

"It wasn't my secret to tell sky girl."

"That doesn't apply to your girlfried. You're supposed to tell me everything."

"That seems unwise. Do all sky people follow this silly rule?"

Raven grinned.

"Yes," she lied. "It's our custom."

Anya frowned at her suspecting she was lying.

"Very well," she replied. "I will keep nothing more from you."

"Shame we gotta babysit or we could make the most of this empty room right now."

Anya smiled broadly.

"Oh we will make up for that later. Believe me."

There was a nervousness coming from Raven. They both knew that returning to Polis could change their dynamic, that this was the point at which they either continued or stopped their relationship.

"One more day before we go home," Raven said lowering her eyes.

Anya raised her head and placed a hungry kiss on her lips.

"I will not abandon you," she said fiercly. "Not like the others.

Raven smiled back, her eyes still lowered.

"It would be your loss. I'm awesome."

"I can't disagree."

Madi entered the room and groaned as she saw the two women.

"Not you two as well! It's bad enough with Clarke and Lexa."

Raven chuckled and the women separated.

"Well your Aunty Raven is gonna make it up to by showing you how to make cool stuff to blow up your enemies."

Madi's eyes lit up as Raven walked with a slight limp towards the door.

"Come on kid. Let me show you how to use make explosives out of household items."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skaikru - sky people  
> Heda - commander  
> Leksa - Lexa  
> Ai hodness - My love  
> Ai niron - My lover/near one  
> Ai hod yu in - I love you


	26. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke observes a sweet moment between Madi and Lexa. Raven and Clarke chat about relationships and Clarke and Lexa enjoy their last night in the hut together.

Clarke watched with a peaceful smile as Madi and Lexa both slept peacefully on the settee, both curled up on their sides. Lexa had one arm protectively around her little sister and the resemblance between them was so clear to Clarke now that she wasn't sure how she had missed it.

Raven entered the room and handed her the device she had been working on. It was a watch for Madi. The girl had always been intrigued by Clarke's and had wanted one of her own but they were in short supply at Arkadia.

"It's digital and energy efficient. She'll never need to charge it or replace the battery."

"You're a genius Raven. Thanks. She'll be so happy."

Raven sat down in the chair across from her at the wooden table.

"You really love those two huh?"

Clarke was still smiling wistfully.

"More than you know."

"I think I have a fair idea. I've seen the way you are together. She was wearing a hole in the floor every time you left the hut to talk to Octavia."

Clarke smiled broader now.

"And then there was your baths- and those oh so obvious extra long picnics."

Clarke turned to her abruptly with a frown.

"Shhh... Madi is too young to hear about that."

"She's fast asleep. They both are. Geez you really are a protective mom. You're just like Abby."

"Yeah. Besides - I understand why she was so protective now."

Clarke sighed thoughtfully. She had never understood before why her mother couldn't trust her, why she couldn't let her make her own mistakes. Now she understood everything. Her mother had been scared to lose her. She had only ever been trying to keep her safe.

Clarke had never truly forgiven her for her mother's choice to turn in her father. Clarke thought of what she would do to keep her daughter safe, of the lengths she would go to. She could be just as ruthless if it came down to protecting her child. She would have killed every single one of Jaha's men,  even her own people, to protect Madi.

She had never felt so torn as when she had seen Lexa facing Jaha. A part of her had hoped she would not come, that she would stay safe but that would have meant Jaha would kill Madi. Clarke shook her head. Either way she would have lost one of them. Either way would have broken her heart forever

"You are never coming back to Arkadia for good are you?" Raven asked quietly.

"No," Clarke replied, meeting her eyes. "Polis is my home. When you found out about Lexa and you asked me where loyalties lay I didn't answer. Maybe Jaha was right to question my loyalty to my people. Things have changed."

Clarke lowered her eyes and Raven scoffed.

"That's insane. I was just mad at you. You've always looked out for us. Besides, I get it now."

Clarke smiled at her with a knowing look.

"Because of Anya?"

Raven smiled and turned away.

"I thought it'd just be a bit of fun but it's more than that. I really like her. She's something. Don't tell her I said so."

"Well she'd be crazy not to like you back. Anyone would be lucky to have a chance with you."

Raven grinned mischieviously.

"Careful Griff! My girlfriend gets very jealous and yours gets very murderous."

Clarke rolled her eyes.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Sure you didn't. It's not your fault. Who can resist me?"

Raven leaned back, swinging her injured leg over her other leg as if it was uncomfortable.

"Seriously though. I'm not sure what's gonna happen when we get back to Polis. We said we were gonna try and keep this going but you know."

Clarke leaned in, tilting her head as she listened. She could tell that Raven was a little worried about this.

"What makes you think that anything will change between you in Polis?"

"Well for one thing, I live in Arkadia. For another, she has responsibilities there and it won't be private any more. What if she changes how she acts towards me in front of people?"

Clarke shook her head, her blue eyes fixed on Raven's. She couldn't believe that the girl didn't see how Anya looked at her. There was no way Anya was about to give Raven up.

"Anya is not the type to be worried too much about what other people think and you can always stay in Polis for a while. There's plenty of room for you here. We could use an engineer too."

Raven's lips were turned downward at the corners as if she was considering Clarke's words.

"What would I do in Polis besides play with the space junk?"

"I don't know. Find solutions to problems there? Make indoor lighting? Although the grounders seem to prefer candles. Lexa hates artificial lighting, Anya too. They both hate the light in my bedroom on the Ark."

Raven gave her a glare, looking Clarke up and down.

"Something you want to tell me Clarke?"

Clarke's eyes widened.

"No Raven! She was my guard. She was in my room in Arkadia for barely a few minutes."

Raven's lips were pursed together in annoyance.

"She better have _been_. You have your own hot grounder girlfriend already so hands off."

"Who's the jealous one now? And you told Anya off for being jealous of Wick."

Raven's expression changed, relaxing a little.

"I'm just saying..."

"I would never do that. Not to you or to Lexa. Finn was a mistake. I didn't know he was seeing you."

Raven lowered her voice.

"I know."

There was a moment of silence as they both reflected on the past.

"So... Am I the only one of our friends who knows about the you know what?"

Clarke knew that she was referring to the wedding but they hadn't told Madi yet. They wanted to tell her personally.

"Yes."

"Who was it? It was Lexa wasn't it. I could see her down on one knee being all gushy."

Clarke frowned trying to figure out just who had brought up the topic first.

"It was me," she said. "Sort of. We had talked about it before and that night at Monty's party I slipped up and called her _ai houmon_ which means my wife. The next morning we agreed to do it."

Raven groaned.

"So no big proposal? No getting down on one knee?"

"I - er I did get down on one knee and propose."

Raven grinned leaning closer.

"Wow. Really? I would have never thought you the romantic type."

Clarke made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a scoff.

"Oh I'm _really_ not but it's Lexa. How could I not?"

Clarke's eyes drifted to the two sleeping figures on the settee again. Sometimes she couldn't believe how lucky she was.

"They are really cute like that. Big sis and little sis."

"I can't believe it. It was an accident we even found her. If Ontari hadn't gone after her and Luna we would have never even met. Oh -"

Clarke stopped getting lost in her thoughts.

"What?"

"Luna is going to be so disappointed."

Clarke turned to Raven.

"She had a crush on you."

Raven's eyes widened and then she broke out into a laugh.

"Are all the grounders hot for us sky girls or what? Must be because we are exotic."

Clarke thought of the obvious closeness she had seen between Niylah and Octavia when she had been in their hut.

"It seems so," she said with a shrug.

Anya entered the room at that moment, looking at little annoyed. She was dressed in a slim black night gown that showed more of her skin than Clarke thought she should see.

"Are you ever coming to bed or do I have to wait all night?"

Clarke tried to hide a smile at Anya's bluntness.

"It's not even that late! What's your hurry?"

Anya gave her a hungry look, her eyes raking over Raven's figure. Raven caught the look, the warrior's intentions clear and got to her feet.

"Sorry Griff. I got a hot girl waiting to get me into her bed and have her way with me. Can't keep her all night. That'd be cruel."

"Oh I don't know. Making them wait can sometimes be worth it in the end," Clarke said with a smirk.

Raven raised her eyebrows in shock.

"Wow. Now we're seeing the real Clarke Griffin. Damn..."

"Raven," Anya urged, getting impatient.

"I'm moving. I'm moving. Gimme a sec."

Despite their blunt words, Clarke noticed that they both spoke in softer voices to each other than to anyone else and it warmed her heart to see her friend finally happy and with someone who would truly care for her.

She turned back to watch her sleeping girls happily content just to sit there and take the sight in. After a while she couldn't resist getting her sketchbook and drawing them,  moving her left hand to sketch and smudge the markings on the page as she tried to capture them accurately.

 

When Lexa woke up, her arm was still around Madi. She sat up slowly so as not to wake her and saw Clarke sketching them at the table, her head lowered over the page, her blonde falling forward in short waves.

When she raised her eyes and saw Lexa awake she smiled.

"Good evening," she teased.

"I didn't intend to fall asleep," said Lexa. "This is our last night here."

Clarke grinned.

"It's fine. I got a new sketch out of it."

Lexa got to her feet and moved to find a blanket. Clarke moved to help her putting her sketchpad down and found one nearby. Lexa hovered behind her as Clarke placed the blanket gently over Madi, covering her up to her neck. She brushed Madi's hair from her face and placed a kiss on her cheek.

When she stood up, Lexa's hands were on her arms gripping her lovingly. Lexa pulled her closer, wrapping one arm around her waist.

"She's ours," Lexa said quietly.

Clarke didn't turn around. She could feel Lexa's warm breath on her neck as Lexa's cheek pressed on hers.

"She's ours," Clarke reaffirmed. 

Lexa held her tighter. Clarke knew that this feeling was new for her too. This feeling of being complete.

"I never even wanted this. I never dreamed-"

Clarke knew what she meant and turned around wearing the softest expression. Lexa's eyes were wide, her lower lip trembling. Clarke didn't need words. She just ran her fingers along Lexa's jaw.

"Let's go to bed," she said.

Lexa understood immediately and smiled broadly just as she had after the first time they had made love together.

_Can we talk about something else?_

_We don't have to talk at all._

It was the happiest smile Clarke ever saw from Lexa, one of pure joy. It was her favourite of all Lexa's smiles for it was one only Lexa wore and never the commander and one she was sure no one else ever got to see but her.

 

Once in the bedroom, they closed the door tightly behind them and hurriedly undressed. They jumped under the covers quickly pulling them over theirselves and found themselves naked and alone together under the covers, Lexa on top of Clarke.

Clarke kissed her hungrily, chasing her lips, skin sliding over skin as they shifted under the blankets. Their shoulders, their thighs, and their breasts were pressed together, their complete nakedness heightening each sensation as they kissed, lips upon lips, sliding over each other. Lexa tilted her head into the kiss and moaned quietly, her whole body resting on Clarke's as she leaned over one side of her.

She moved her left hand to find Clarke's, her eyes still closed as they kissed and joined their fingers together, holding onto her lover tenderly.

They didn't need words this time. This was like their last moments before Clarke had left for the blockade, soft and loving. Lexa shifted her long athletic legs up, using one knee to push open Clarke's legs wider as she shifted up and ran her knee up and down between Clarke's legs making her gasp.

They knew that they really had to be quiet this time and Lexa contained her moans to whimpers as Clarke moved back and forward on her knee and brought her left hand down reach betwen Lexa's own legs. Clarke's breathing was heavy and she inhaled deeply as Lexa's continued her ministrations, Lexa whimpering as she covered her mouth with her own.

This was as much about love as it was sex. They needed each other, they desired each other and they wanted to care for each others' needs and to enjoy each other with abandonment. There was no one else who could make them feel this tenderness, who could make them feel the way that they made each other feel.

With Clarke, sex with others was about fulfilling a physical need, it was about feeling a connection with another human being, if only for a little while. With Lexa, it felt like an act of worship, as if she wanted to trace and kiss every part of her body and to show her just how much she meant to her. With Lexa it was always about love as much as it was about sex.

Lexa moaned sexily into her lips, as Clarke's hands caressed the secret parts of her body, sliding inbetwen her folds and inside her to stroke her and to tease her. She moved up and down and in circles, touching her until she could easily slip inside her.

Lexa was breathing heavily now too and the feeling of her thigh between her legs was sending Clarke wild. She closed her eyes and raised her head back, gripping Lexa's hand very tightly, pressing her lips together and turning to one side to keep from calling out. Lexa moaned into her neck, pressing hot kisses there, her lips moving fast as she tasted the skin on her neck, the skin under her jaw and down her collarbone.

Clarke felt her climax coming. She had to press her lips together so tightly to keep from making a noise now. She was so close, her fingers still moving inside Lexa, bringing her with her. She felt Lexa bury her head in her neck again and knew she was close too.

That knowledge and the sweet scent that eminated from Lexa's luxurious, thick chestnut hair that filled her senses, pushed her other the edge and she came hard in a long, intense body-screaming orgasm at the same time as Lexa did. Lexa muffled a high-pitched moan into her neck and Clarke whimpered and groaned and they both came against each other in unison multiple times. Lexa shifted her body for a second and Clarke came again unable to help herself as she felt Lexa shift against her already oversensitive core. 

It happened two or three times. Clarke couldn't even count and she was sure she heard Lexa whimper as Clarke continued her movements inside her. She felt Lexa building and releasing multiple times and wondered just how many times they could both do this over and over again, wondering how much their bodies could take of it.

When it was finally over and they both came down from their intense highs, they both lay back on the bed, out of breath and with their eyes closed.

"That was-" Clarke started.

Neither of them felt able to speak, their minds in a haze from so much pleasure.

"Wow," Clarke mumbled.

Lexa had her eyes closed but she was not asleep. Her breathing was deep as she tried to recover from the experience.

"Wow," Clarke said again, not able to voice the insensity of what she had experienced.

Lexa turned over on her side and nuzzled into the pillow with complete satisfaction. Clarke followed her and ran her hands along Lexa's arms unable to completely comprehend how Lexa did this to her. She rested her head on one hand and her elbow on the pillow.

"It's never been like that with anyone else. Never."

Lexa shifted on her pillow in that adorable manner that Clarke was used to. She almost always did this after sex. It was the most contented Lexa ever was.

"Was it ever like that - with Costia I mean?"

Lexa's eyes opened and she turned over to face Clarke who was looking at her ever so softly. Lexa wondered if anyone else had ever gotten to see Clarke looking at them so softly and sweetly.

"No Clarke. Never. Stop comparing yourself to her. What we have is far deeper than what I had with her."

Lexa leaned in closer and Clarke's eyelids fluttered.

"I loved her very much but not as much I love you. It is different."

Clarke expression couldn't be anymore loving. Her gentle smile in these moments was Lexa's favourite one of all. Clarke leaned down and kissed her. It was sweet and deep kiss full of promise. A promise to be hers forever.

"We should rest," Lexa said softly, as their lips parted, her eyes still half-closed. "Tomorrow we return to Polis. "I will likely be very busy for some time."

"You always are," said Clarke with a loving smile.

Lexa smiled in return, her eyes open now and thought that she could happily stare into Clarke's beautiful blue eyes forever. She felt her eyelids beginning to close and sighed and turned over. Clarke wrapped her arms around her waist and pressed her head against Lexa's shoulder and closed her eyes.

"I can't wait to make you my wife," she muttered.

Lexa didn't reply but smiled to herself, feeling so so happy because she couldn't wait either and because she had never in a million years dreamed that she would be in Clarke's arms even once let alone have a chance to be bonded with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ai houmon - My wife/husband/spouse


	27. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa finally get a chance to talk to Madi and Anya and Raven try to work out their cultural differences.

When Clarke and Lexa returned to Polis everything was busy. Lexa had a lot to catch up on and Arkadia had been sending constant word to Clarke.

 _Mom_ thought Clarke. _Wondering what happened to me and Lexa and why we didn't answer._

Jaha was locked away awaiting a decision as to his fate and the ambassadors of the other clans immediately wanted answers.

Lexa had to attend meeting after meeting and they still hadn't had a chance to talk to Madi.

After a few weeks everything began to calm down and Clarke sat waiting on their couch for Madi to finish her training for the day. Lexa paced back and forward in front of her.

Clarke watched her carefully. Lexa would not admit it but she was worried about how Madi would take the news.

Madi entered the room with a sigh and Lexa's eyes were on her immediately. Anya had been training Madi and the others pretty hard since they'd returned and she seemed fairly tired.

"Madi. Come and sit down. We have something to tell you," Clarke told her.

Madi obeyed and sat next to her. Clarke glanced at Lexa who was watching them carefully, her green eyes clouded with doubts. They had both agreed that Clarke would break the news to her given that she was closer to the girl.

"So that village we were staying in. It was where Lexa lived before she was taken to Polis. We - er we spoke to someone who knew her parents and your parents and found out something that we think you have a right to know."

Madi frowned in the same way Lexa always did when she was confused. If not for her gray eyes and darker hair Clarke was sure that more people would see it.

"My parents? They weren't from _trikru_. They were _louwoda klironkru_."

Clarke bit her lip, trying to break this to her as gently as possible.

"That's the thing Madi. They weren't. Lexa's parents were _your_ biological parents. Your mother's aunt took you in after they died."

Lexa's eyes were dark and low as she listened, hovering close by but not intervening.

"No. That's not right. They were my parents."

Clarke put her hands on the side of Madi's arms to reassure her.

"We have no reason to lie. I know this is hard to hear but they kept it a secret to keep you safe. Your aunt and uncle still loved you. They were still your parents too."

Madi shook her head, her bottom lip trembling.

"What happened to them? How did they die?"

Clarke glanced up towards Lexa to check if she was okay with this. Lexa nodded slowly in reply.

"They were taken by the mountain. They're gone."

"Wait. That means-"

Madi's eyes flickered to Lexa's as she turned her head. Lexa had remained very quiet throughout the conversation knowing that this would be hard for her.

"Yes," Lexa told her. "I'm your sister by blood."

Madi spun her head back and forward between Clarke and Lexa wide eyed and confused.

"We've been trying to tell you," Clarke told her.

Madi's eyes were firmly fixed on Lexa as she adjusted to the new knowledge. She got to her feet and stood in front of the commander. Lexa looked down into her determined gray eyes waiting for her to speak.

"Are you really my sister?"

"Yes," Lexa replied. "It appears so."

"Madi," Clarke said calling her back to the sofa. "Come here."

The girl turned back to face her.

"You can never tell _anyone_ ," she urged. "You would be targeted by Lexa's enemies. They would try to use you to get to her. Do you understand?"

Madi nodded slowly.

" _Promise_ me," Clarke urged. "You won't say a word to anyone else."

"I promise Clarke."

Clarke let out a sigh of relief and Madi turned back to Lexa, staring at her as if with new eyes. They were both silent.

"Does this mean that I need to be hidden again? Do I have to leave Polis?" Madi said with a slight sadness.

"No," said Clarke. "Of course not. You belong here with us. Both of us."

Clarke met Lexa's eyes and nodded as she spoke. Lexa's face was a mask. She was trying to keep her emotions under control but Clarke could see great depths behind her green eyes.

"Do not fear," Lexa told her. "We will not send you away. _Yu laik oson seingeda._ This is your home."

Madi lips were crooked as she frowned back at Lexa and Clarke thought that this was going to take some time for her to digest. She had expected as much.

" _Ai hou_ ," Madi replied. "My home," she repeated for Clarke's benefit giving her a glance.

Clarke insisted on her speaking as much English as possible to help her learning. Madi had not spoken a word of it when they had first met but was almost as fluent as anyone else since Clarke had spent so much time teaching her.

Madi glanced up at Lexa calmly.

"It's weird having a sister but I'm glad that it's you. I love you Lexa."

Clarke smiled to herself at the words and saw Lexa blink suddenly and swallow. The words affected her more than she would ever let anyone know. Clarke was very glad too. Of everyone Lexa was the best person she could think of to protect Madi. Clarke knew that Lexa would die before she let any harm come to her.

"I love you too," Lexa said carefully.

The girl's both stood awkwardly, mirror images of each other in body language.

Madi threw her arms around Lexa and hugged her and Lexa stood very still at first. Gradually her arms came around the little girl and she hugged her back. Someone knocked on the door and Madi pulled back, glancing back at Clarke.

"I know," she muttered. "Not in front of anyone else. Not with Lexa. _Heda_ can't show favouritism

Clarke smiled with satisfaction happy that Madi had listened to her words. She had explained to her why Lexa couldn't be seen to show favouritism in Polis in public but as long as Madi understood that her apparent indifference towards her was all just an act, that was enough.

"Enter," Lexa said straightening herself.

Anya entered in full training gear and Madi groaned visibly unhappy to see her. Anya noticed right away.

"One day you will thank me little _natblida_ ," she said dryly. "I am teaching you to be the best."

Clarke caught a small smile forming in the corner of Lexa's mouth as she watched the interaction.

"She tells the truth. She pushes her students hard but few can ever defeat those who complete her training. Even if you do find yourself hating her while she is teaching you."

Madi smiled at her in amusement.

"It worked on _you_. You defeated Prince Roan of _Azgeda_ did you not?"

Anya's expression was neutral but Clarke knew that she was teasing.

"Oh she _definitely_ did. I was there."

Lexa smirked at her suddenly.

"Yet you didn't believe I could. She tried everything to stop the fight, including trying to personally poison Nia."

Anya raised an eyebrow and Madi spun her head around to her.

"Did you?" Madi exclaimed.

Clarke avoided their eyes.

"I hadn't seen her fight before. I was afraid she might lose."

Lexa raised an eyebrow back as if to say 'I told you so' and Clarke glowered at her for bringing it up in front of everyone.

" _Klarke_ _kom_ _skaikru_ can be very brave when she wishes. She jumped from a dam when she didn't know how to swim. If I hadn't pulled you from the water you would have drowned."

Madi's eyes widened with excitement.

"You never told me that."

"Clarke doesn't like to see herself as the hero," Lexa told Madi calmly. "She prefers to paint others as the hero and to ignore her own accomplishments. You mother has saved her people many times."

"Raven says she's a badass."

"Raven is right," said Lexa.

Anya muttered something under her breath about her not always being right and Clarke wondered what was going on between the two of them. She knew that they had continued their relationship in Polis but recently she had sensed tension between them, as if they were having a disagreement.

 _I'll ask her later_ Clarke thought. _It's probably a misunderstanding._

Raven and Anya were still in that stage were they often misunderstood their cultural differences and both of them were usually too stubborn to make the first move to resolve it. Clarke was thankful that her and Lexa usually just communicated their misunderstandings as soon as they happened. It made things much clearer.

 

Later that night Anya entered the bedroom she shared with Raven to be received by stony silence and a hostile glare. Raven as usual was working on on her projects. The sky girl rarely had a screwdriver out of her hand.

"Still mad at me I see. This is foolish."

"Oh I'm foolish. You're the one being an ass."

Anya undressed and got into the bed besides her. Raven immediately shifted away and turned over putting her project on the side cabinet.

"I did not say that you could not go to Arkadia. It was not a command."

"That's exactly what you said. You said 'you cannot go' and asked me if Wick was going to be there."

"I only meant that I did not want you to go," Anya told her in a calm voice.

Raven half turned to yell back at her.

"What you meant is that you don't trust me and if that's how you feel then why am I even here?"

Anya turned to her, placing one hand on her arm. Raven shrugged it off, turning around.

"This is new for me, this type of bond. I let my jealousy get the better of me. It was wrong of me."

Raven watched her apology with a stubborness. She wasn't going to let anyone treat her like a possession.

"Other people are gonna like me. Other people will flirt with me. I'm your girlfriend but you don't own me."

"I know," Anya replied. "I trust you. In truth-"

Raven stopped at her hesitation. Anya rarely ever hesitated, usually full of confidence.

"What? Just tell me. We keep getting it wrong because we don't talk to each other. If this is gonna work you need to be honest with me."

Anya forced herself to meet her eyes but Raven could see that talking about her emotions was somewhat difficult for her. Clarke had told her that the grounders thought it weakness to admit to having feelings the last time they had fought and that they had difficulting expressing them. 

"I am afraid I will lose you to them," said Anya. "Arkadia was your home."

"So come _with_ me like I asked. Lexa can spare you for a few days. Being an idiot and acting all possessive is what will make you lose me. I won't put up with that stuff."

Anya lowered her eyes.

"Our ways are different. When we love another in our culture, others can challenge us for their love. If the prove more worthy they may leave with another. It is why we are possessive with our _nirons_."

"Well in my culture no one owns anyone and we choose who we want to be with and it doesn't matter who challenges th - wait love?"

Anya kept her gaze as she watched Raven's realisation.

"You just said love," Raven said.

"I did," Anya replied. "Surely that is not a surprise by now."

Raven's eyes widened.

"You haven't said it. How could I know?"

Anya blinked in confusion.

"By my actions. Why do you think I challenged that man to a fight for showing his attraction to you in the market? Why do think I asked you to watch me fight him in the arena personally. It was a challenge for your love. Did you not understand that?"

Raven laughed increduously.

"Well no. I thought that you were just being jealous again."

"No. I was fighting for _you_. As I said in our culture we are expected to defend our spouses from rivals."

"Well in ours it means that you are treating me like an object and that isn't seen as a good thing."

Both women sat upright now, not looking at each other as they reevaluated their recent discussions with a new perspective.

"I love you too," Raven said quickly.

"That is fortunate for me," Anya replied. 

"So no more possessiveness okay?"

"Okay."

"And you come with me to Arkadia."

"As you wish Raven. I will travel with you."

Raven threw her arms around her and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Good. Now let's have crazy makeup sex until we pass out."

Raven grinned at her and Anya smirked back and threw herself at the sky girl with enthusiasm.

 

 

"I told you she would be okay."

Clarke unbraided Lexa's hair as she sat in bed, her hands running through the soft strands with joy.

"You did."

Lexa had been quieter than usual since they'd talked to Madi. Clarke's fingers worked on her braids as she sat in silence in front of her on the bed.

"You still seem worried."

"I'm not. I- It's just strange. My father had gray eyes. I had forgotten until now."

Clarke brushed her hair back from her neck. It now fell in loose waves down Lexa's back.

"Does she remind you of him?"

Lexa did not turn around.

"She reminds me of them both, what little I remember."

Clarke put her arm around Lexa's waist and rested her head on her shoulder.

"A part of them lives on through you both."

Lexa placed her hand over the one that Clarke rested on her waist. She turned her head back with a smile.

"You don't believe in reincarnation."

"No but it's true. Genetically she is their child so their DNA lives on within her."

"I still don't understand how that works."

Clarke kissed her neck.

"You'll get it next time I explain it to you. It's not complicated really."

"You always say that about your science but you learned it from a young age. It is easy for you."

Clarke pulled her closer pressing more kisses on her shoulder.

"I guess so. Are you nervous?"

"About the ceremony. No. You?"

"No. I feel like we've waited forever."

"I would wait forever for you. You know that."

Clarke smiled. As ferocious and ruthless as she could be, Lexa was so sweet sometimes.

"Is everything ready?"

"Raven will deliver the invitations herself when she visits Arkadia."

Clarke beamed as she thought of the event.

"We better avoid Monty's moonshine. I have a feeling he'll bring a new batch just for us."

"I have kept the ceremony fairly small. The fewer people that attend the lower the chance of my enemes attacking. There will be guards at every entrance and Anya will be tasked with guarding Madi personally."

"Of course," Clarke replied, with a knowing smile. "Now let's go to bed and practise for our wedding night."

Lexa made a sudden noise almost like a giggle that surprised Clarke. It was so girlish and so unlike her.

"What?"

"You do not need practise at _that_."

"But I _want_ to practise. Don't you?"

"I think you already know the answer to that Clarke."

Lexa was grinning wildly.

"Bed it is," Clarke teased.

They both fell back down onto the bed and into each others' arms as they kissed each other with abandonment.

"You did this to me the first time," Lexa said in between kisses.

"What? Kissed you?"

"Took me to my bed," Lexa replied.

Clarke kissed the corners of her lips softy.

"As I remember it was you that took me to your bed."

"After you _kissed_ me. I only meant to say goodbye. You surprised me."

Clarke kissed the under side of her jaw, trailing over her skin with her soft lips.

"You can hardly blame me. With lips like these."

Clarke pressed her lips over Lexa's and drew her into a kiss.

"And besides," she said breaking the kiss but still so very close to Lexa's lips. "You kissed me first."

"You backed me into a table."

"You were going to kill Octavia."

Clarke raised an eyebrow and Lexa sighed knowing that she would not win this argument. She had in fact kissed Clarke first, though she could never regret that moment.

"I was doing what I thought necessary."

"I know that. It was still the wrong decision but I know. Let's just never tell Octavia about that. I think it's better she never finds out."

Lexa nodded.

"Agreed," she said in a deeper tone. "Now kiss me again Clarke of the sky people."

"Mmmm..."

Clarke didn't hesitate and soon they were completely lost again in each others' embrace as they had been many nights before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trikru - Tree clan  
> Louwoda klironkru - Shadow Valley Clan  
> Azgeda - Ice Nation  
> Yu laik oson seingeda - You are our family  
> Ai hou - My home  
> Heda - Commander  
> Natblida - Nightblood  
> Skaikru - sky people/clan


	28. Heda and Wanheda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big day finally arrives for Clarke and Lexa as they finally get married.

Lexa entered the throne room to the sound of singing. The words were _trigedasleng_ and spoke of warriors and love and created a heavenly sound throughout the room. Candles were lit as tradition usually held these ceremonies at night.

She wore the symbol of the commander and a long black dress similar to what she had worn the day Clarke had kneeled before her as _Wanheda_. Her eyes were masked with dark and silver makeup. Her hair was tied back and braided. She stood waiting for her bride, with Anya behind her and Raven and Octavia off to the side as bridesmaids.

Most of Clarke's friends from _skaikru_ were there along with Abby and Kane. Attendants from each clan were in attendance along with Roan, the now King of _Azgeda_ and some of her own people. Madi stood with the other nightbloods and Indra smiling broadly as she watched her. Lexa caught her eyes with a small smile and a slight nod of acknowledgement.

She wasn't sure why she was nervous now. Lexa was rarely ever affected in such a way. Maybe it was because they had waited so long. Maybe it was because she had never dreamed it even a possibility for her. Maybe it was Titus distant words telling her _to be commander is to be alone._

All her doubts disappeared when Clarke walked in a pale white silvery dress that reached just above her knees. Her hair was braided and growing almost down to her shoulders but not quite reaching its previous length yet. Her eyes wore the mask of _Wanheda_ , a necessity for the tradition.

The ceremony was a mix of two cultures, a compromise of traditions but Clarke had explained the significance of the colour white and Lexa had explained that their wedding must join _Wanheda_ and _Heda_ as well as Clarke and Lexa to be treated as truly equal.

Lexa held her breath as she watched Clarke enter with her head held high, a bunch of flowers at her waist. From what Lexa had seen from the pictures Clarke had shown her she was supposed to hold the flowers up and walk demurely but she strode down the aisle with little notice to the flowers and met Lexa's eyes with a smile.

 _She is so beautiful and so strong._

It was all Lexa could think as they began the ceremony. Gaia conducted the ceremony in both languages and explained the parts that were unfamiliar to the other clans.

Clarke and Lexa exchanged rings, Clarke linking both their hands after she slid the ring on Lexa's finger forth finger.

"I have a gift for you," she said softly trying to ignore the amount of eyes on them both.

She nodded towards Gaia who handed her the picture. It was a framed sketch. Clarke had drawn it and asked for paints from arkadia to add colour. It was of their spot where Lexa had taken her for a picnic. The details were vivid and when Clarke handed it to Lexa she seemed almost shy about it.

"It's beautiful," Lexa said scanning over the image.

She blinked and glanced to the side, aware that she had to keep up appearances for the ceremony. Members of the other clans were witnessing the day.

"Thank you," she said formally as she straightened up.

Gaia took the painting from her for safe keeping and Lexa noticed that Clarke was smiling at her wistfully. Lexa knew that she understood her need to show strength even on this day. Gaia moved onto the traditional part of the ceremony which involved bowing.

"I am yours and you are mine," Lexa said bowing before Clarke.

Clarke's eyes were lit up and so blue in the flickering candlelight. Lexa saw her take a breath as if to steady herself as Lexa kneeled and gazed up at her in awe.

_I am doing it. I am marrying her Lexa thought. She is finally mine._

Lexa got to her feet and Clarke met her gaze. Her eyes were full of determination. Lexa saw no doubt or hesitation in them.

Clarke kneeled before her, her head lowered and Lexa could not have loved her more than in that moment. Her heart skipped a beat as those blue eyes stared up into hers as Clarke lifted her head and rose to her feet. Clarke placed a hand on her chest.

"I am yours and you are mine," she whispered.

Her hand stayed on Lexa's chest as she stared into her eyes reminding her of the first time she had done this. It was in the tent, the only neutral ground between Lexa's army and Arkadia when they were almost at war with each other. Their relationship had seemed impossible then, the two of them caught between duty and love on opposite sides of the blockade. Even that hadn't been enough to separate them.

" _Ai laik yun en yu laik ain_ ," Clarke said louder for formality, moving her hand away.

Lexa missed it's warmth immediately.

"You are now bonded until the end of your days," Gaia said with a nod. "I believe it is custom in your culture to exchange a kiss to finish the ceremony."

Clarke responded with a nod and then surged forward to kiss her houmon. Their lips met with ferocity both of them hungry to share each other's bodies as wives.

Lexa pulled back when she felt Clarke's tongue in her mouth and realised that Clarke was getting far too carried away.

"I don't think that your mother wants to see that," Lexa teased in a wry voice.

Clarke's hands were still on her waist and her face was still very close to Lexa's.

"Hmmm... Since when did you care what my mom thinks?"

"Since she is my mother in law I must care."

Clarke grinned and kissed her again pushing Lexa back with the force of her enthusiasm. Lexa pushed back, her body strong, her hand in Clarke's hair.

" _Heda_!" Gaia urged suddenly, trying to keep her voice low. "The ceremony is complete."

Lexa pulled away and nodded and her and Clarke turned to the crowd, standing side by side. Clarke stood with her hands clasped in front of her as Lexa took the lead.

"On this day the spirits of _Heda_ and _Wanheda_ are joined. With _Wanheda_ fighting by my side as an equal, we will ensure the survival of all of our clans and the enduring peace of our alliance. No one will dare stand against us. We can look to a bright future for our children and we will all flourish."

The room kneeled one by one before Lexa and Clarke. Lexa as always watched to see who was the last to kneel and found that all kneeled very quickly without hesitation, not even Octavia showing defiance. With satisfaction that all was well she turned to Clarke and saw her outstretched hand and took it. Clarke squeezed it tightly not quite able to hide her grin or just how happy she was to be married to her.

They walked in formality out of the throne room and out into the hall, to ready themselves for the formal party that _skaikru_ had arranged for afterwards as part of their tradition.

In the hall, Clarke ravaged her completely, pushing her into the lift to the surprise of the guard who had been stood in front of it and pressing all of the buttons.

"We did it," Lexa gasped inbetween breaths. "You are my wife."

Clarke kissed her neck, running her hands through her hair and gripping her shoulder.

"I love hearing you say that _houmon_. You don't know how much I've wanted this for so long and now-" Clarke's eyes were full of mischief as they met her. "I am going to treat your needs as my own."

Clarke surged forward again and pinned her wife against the back of the lift. She pulled her down to the floor without a struggled and covered her body with her own, her hands creeping all over Lexa's body and up under her dress without restraint.

"Clarke," Lexa said suddenly as the blonde planted kisses all along her thighs.

Clarke lifted her head in concern.

"What is it?"

"I am so happy. You make me happy."

Clarke eyes were full of joy and she beamed in return. Then that look of mischief returned.

"You'll be even happier in a minute," she said with an eyebrow raise. "Just keep pressing the buttons of the lift begins to move. Raven upgraded it. And ignore the intercom if she starts asking what's wrong. She can't hear us unless we press the intercom button."

Clarke pushed up Lexa's dress and continued pressing kisses up her legs and on her inner thighs. She pushed the material all the way up to her hips and pulled down her underwear. Lexa groaned as she felt her lips meet her body, her tongue playfully teasing her entrance.

"We are definitely going to be late to the celebrations," Lexa said to herself, as Clarke head moved between her legs.

Clarke didn't reply and Lexa only hoped that the lift was soundproof enough to keep anyone from her.

 

They arrived pretty late to their own party, having had to change and remove their makeup pretty quickly. Everyone cheered when they saw them and Raven and Anya hurried over.

"It's about time!" Raven said. "Where the hell where you two? We almost sent a search party."

"We're not that late," Clarke said still wearing the slightly giddy smile that she had been wearing all day.

Lexa just nodded with a satisfied smile, seemingly distracted by her own thoughts.

Raven and Anya glanced at each other and then at the couple.

"Uh-huh," Raven replied.

"I think the clan leaders and King Roan are expecting to see their _heda_ ," said Anya.

Lexa nodded and turned to Clarke. Clarke placed a kiss on her cheek and she headed off with Anya to greet everyone formally.

"So how's married life Griffin?" Raven asked with a broad grin.

"Great so far. Hey I have to ask you. You were talking about putting a camera in the elevator for security. You haven't done it yet have you?"

Raven's grin widened as she tilted her head sideways.

"Actually I did yesterday. It's recording everything as we speak."

Clarke's eyes widened with shock as she thought about the implications.

"You know I could... delete today's footage entirely. I could make it look like a system error."

"Could you show me how to do that? For - future reference."

Raven burst out laughing.

"I guess I could. Geez Griff. Don't worry. I'll clear it. I'll show you how to do it. Me and Anya might've been caught by that camera a few times so I know how to wipe the footage."

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief.

"Unless you want me to make you a personal copy."

Clarke turned to Raven rolling her eyes.

"I good thanks but seriously thanks."

"Your wife is staring at you."

Clarke couldn't deny the skip of her heartbeat when she heard Lexa referred as her wife.

_My wife. My houmon._

Clarke's thoughts trailed off. She had never thought the day would come either. At one time it had seemed impossible. Now she couldn't imagine her life without her.

She raised her head and met Lexa's eyes. Someone was talking to her, one of the clan ambassadors but as she listened her dark green eyes were on Clarke watching her with the happiest smile. She wasn't even trying to hide it though she straightened up her body and lifted her head every time she addressed one of the ambassadors, making sure that they knew she was still in charge.

Clarke had never dreamed she would love someone so intensely. Lexa understood her and supported her in a way that no one ever had.

"Go on," said Raven. "Go and be with her. You can talk to me any time now that I live in Polis."

Clarke glanced at her and then pulled her into a hug.

"Er Clarke. You'll be making your wife and my girlfriend jealous. I would like to survive the night."

Clarke let her go a little embarrassed.

"Sorry. I just - I'm -"

Raven gave her a soft knowing look.

"I know. Now go!"

Clarke headed over to Lexa and took her hand. Their hands remained together as Lexa and Clarke both formally met the clan leaders and ambassadors.

Raven watched as Madi came up and Lexa raised her head and introduced Madi to the leaders. Raven could not hear what they were saying but she could see Lexa and Clarke's pride and Madi's smile as they told the other leaders of Madi's training. Madi stood in front of them, Clarke's other hand on her shoulder and Lexa hovering protectively close to her. Abby came up beside Raven.

"They're very sweet aren't they?" Abby said with a smile.

"Almost makes you broody doesn't it?"

Abby scoffed.

"I've already done all that.Children are a lot of work. Just wait until Madi becomes a teenager."

"But you wouldn't take it back would you."

Raven noticed Anya glancing at them and recognised that she saw Abby as a threat. She thought Anya might come over and warn Abby but the warrior woman turned away and Raven was relieved. Anya was learning to curb her jealous streak.

"Not for the world," said Abby. "For all my mistakes I just want her to be safe and happy. And Lexa would do anything to make sure she is."

"I don't think your daughter needs much protecting," Raven joked. "She's as strong as her mother."

"Stronger," Abby said with a note of pride. "She was always stronger than me."

Raven watched her with a smile. She couldn't disagree but she had not seen Abby so happy in a long time. During the ceremony she had seen her tears threatening to spill as she had watched her daughter get married.

 

"We should speak to your mother," Lexa told Clarke, as they moved away from the last of the leaders. "It is only right to address her too as the _nomon_ of my _houmon_."

Clarke was amused by her formality. Lexa always took her responsibilities too seriously, just as Clarke tended to do with her own.

"Sure. Let's go say hi."

She glanced at Madi to check on her. She had long since wandered away to hear stories from some of the Arkers. She was surrounded by Murphy, Emori, Bellamy and Octavia. She didn't know what they were telling her but she was listening with excitement to them. Clarke smiled warmly. Madi loved stories about the Arkers. Seeing her friends accepting Madi so freely warmed her heart.

They moved over to her mom who was now with Kane.

"Commander," Kane greeted.

"Chancellor," Lexa replied.

Clarke and her mother looked at them. Both Lexa and Kane seemed puzzled by their expressions.

"You both don't need to be so formal," Clarke teased. "We are all practically family."

Lexa noticed Abby's expression sadden and wondered why.

"You looked so beautiful Clarke," she said. "I wish Jake could have seen it."

Lexa saw the hard look Clarke gave her mother whenever she mentioned her father. She knew that it was a difficult topic between them. From what Clarke had told her it was clear that Abby had been trying to shield her daughter from harm but Clarke still partly blamed her for her father's death.

"In our culture, we believe that a person's spirit lives on after death. He may not have been here but his spirit lives on to protect his family."

Lexa addressed her seriously as she spoke, intending to bring her comfort. Abby gave her a weak smile that reminded her of Clarke's. She knew that they both did not believe, that they held strongly to the _skaikru_ views about science but she hoped it would bring her some hope.

"Thank you Lexa."

Lexa blinked and nodded sincerely. Clarke was smiling at her like a lovesick teenager, still holding her hand. She felt Clarke squeeze her hand and turned to her. Their eyes met and they smiled at each other broadly.

"Careful. I don't think that you two can ditch this party like you did Monty's birthday. A least not for a few hours yet."

Both Clarke and Lexa shifted uncomfortably.

"That's actually when we decided to get married," said Clarke. "Well the next morning."

Lexa lowered her eyes her lips curved into the largest smile.

"Only because you kept calling me houmon as you slept."

"I was intoxicated."

"So was I but I did not call you my wife."

"It was the alcohol!"

"So you did not mean it," Lexa demanded raising an eyebrow.

"Of course I meant it, I love you. I just mean that I was incredibly drunk."

They both grinned enjoying the argument.

"Besides," said Clarke. "I proposed didn't I?"

"You did," said Lexa wistfully. "And you told me about that ridiculous tradition."

Abby and Kane had been watching their exchange with amusment.

"What tradition?" Abby asked.

"That only men and women can marry," Clarke told her. I told you it's not like that anymore."

"It's absurd that it was ever like that," said Lexa rolling her eyes.

Abby couldn't quite hide a grin at their bickering.

"You've only been married for a few hours and you are bickering like it's been years," said Kane.

Clarke leaned in with a smirk.

"Oh we we're bickering long before got married."

"Oh. I can believe it," said Abby with a grin. "I know how argumentative you are."

"Mom!"

Lexa was grinning now though she said nothing. Clarke's head shot between her mother and her wife realising that they both thought she was argumentative.

"You love it though," she whispered in Lexa's ear in a husky voice.

Lexa was very still as she spoke, her green eyes burning into her now, unable to hide her desire for Clarke.

"You know I do," she replied in a low voice, her gaze fixed on Clarke.

As green eyes stared into blue they didn't need to speak to communicate what was in their hearts. The love, the connection between them. It was as strong as ever. The first time they had met in that tent to discuss an alliance neither of them had never imagined that this was the sort of alliance they would end up having.

" _Ai hodness_ ," Lexa whispered too softly for anyone but Clarke to hear, their foreheads almost touching.

" _Ai houmon_ ," Clarke replied with a grin. "I love you too."

Monty walked past and smiled as he saw them. They moved apart remembering that they weren't alone.

"Moonshine," he said holding up the bottle enthusiastically.

Clarke and Lexa glanced at each other.

"Not right now," said Clarke.

Just as Monty was about to go she grabbed his arm.

"Save us a bottle for when we're leaving?"

Monty nodded with a knowing smile.

"Sure Clarke. I'll save you some."

When Clarke turned back to Lexa she was watching her with amusement.

"It's for later," Clarke said with a smile. "Along with your other surprise."

Lexa smirked.

"Maybe I have a surprise for you too."

Clarke raised her eyebrows, her eyes flickering down over Lexa's body wanting to take her right there and then. It was going to be a long few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigedasleng - Grounder language  
> Wanheda - Commander of Death  
> Heda - Commander  
> Skaikru - Sky clan/people  
> Azgeda - Ice Nation  
> Ai laik yun en yu laik ain - I am yours and you are mine.  
> Houmon - Wife/husband/spouse  
> Nomon - Mother   
> Ai - my


	29. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa dance, Raven and Anya dance and talk about the future and Clarke shows Lexa their wedding night surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has read this so far. This is the end of the story but I do have a possible idea for a third novel but we'll see. I'm very grateful for all of your positive comments and to those who regularly like, share and comment on the tumblr. I really do appreciate it very much though I am not great at showing it. Search for me under gorgondrifter on tumblr if you want more updates.

Clarke and Lexa danced in the centre of the room in the middle of the party, Lexa's arms around Clarke's shoulders and Clarke's hands resting on her waist. The music was slow and they moved in time, Lexa's held held high.

"This is tradition? To dance?"

Clarke whose head had been turned to the side turned back to Lexa.

"Honestly I've never been to a wedding before. I only know what I've seen on films."

"Hmm... So they are not quite traditions. You just wanted an excuse to dance with me."

Clarke reached to brush Lexa's hair from her neck.

"Well can you _blame_ me?"

Lexa leaned forward and kissed her, brushing her lips against Clarke's. Even though they had kissed during the ceremony, it still felt strange for Clarke for Lexa to kiss her in public. They had always been careful with their affections. Lexa's role meant that she had to act a certain way in front of the clan leaders and ambassadors. Right now Lexa was kissing her as openly as if they were in private right in front of them.

 

"Look at them all loved up," said Raven. "It's sweet."

Anya eyed her with a smile.

"Let's dance!" said Raven excitedly. "Come on."

Anya's gaze darted away.

"I do not dance."

"You fight. Fighting and dancing aren't so different. Unless you don't want to be seen with me."

Anya's gaze immediately met her own. She seemed very serious.

"You think me ashamed of our relationship? I am proud to be your _niron_."

"Good. Then let's go. It's _easy_."

Raven took her hand and led her to the dancefloor before wrapping her arms around her shoulders and pulling their bodies close.

"This is how you dance in _skaikru_?" Anya asked.

"With our hot, badass _nirons_ we do _sh_ _a_ "

Anya smirked.

"You are learning our language."

Raven leaned in to her neck.

"Well you talk enough of it when we're having sex. I guess that sha had to be either yes, don't stop or God."

"You guessed correctly."

Anya held her arms around the sky girl's lower back.

"I'm guessing that Lexa will be saying a lot of shas after they leave the party. They can barely keep their hands off each other."

"They are in love," Anya simply stated. "And they are joined now forever."

Raven smiled and leaned to rest on her shoulder. Anya sighed.

"Would you ever do that? The bonding ceremony?"

Anya wrapped her arms tightly around Raven.

"It's a possibility. Perhaps with you."

Raven kissed her shoulder.

"I love you too An."

 

A few hours later Clarke entered her bedroom holding Lexa's hand.

"I'll be a second. Just wait."

Lexa watched her go with a satisfied sigh and then turned to look at the framed picture that now hung in their bedroom. Gaia had arranged for it to be hung there after the wedding. It was a piece of her home. A reminder of her village and where she had come from and the time her and Clarke had spent there.

She felt two arms come around her waist.

"Do you like it then?"

Clarke's husky voice whispered in her ear.

"Very much," said Lexa in a deep voice. "Thank you Clarke."

"Just wait. Turn around."

Lexa turned with a frown and then saw what Clarke was wearing. It was a black lingerie set and Clarke wore face paint, masking her eyes in the same pattern that Lexa usually wore. Lexa swallowed her eyes taking in the sight hungrily. She had let down her hair, which was in loose blonde waves and she smiled mischievously.

Lexa couldn't stop staring. Clarke's breasts were on full display, barely covered. The fabric covered very little of Clarke's skin and Lexa's eyes followed the curves of her body drinking in the sight.

"Was it a good idea?"

"Clarke-" she said.

Lexa didn't finish her sentence but surged forward. She wrapped her arms around Clarke's warm body as their lips joined. Lexa pushed Clarke down on the bed and then straddled her, pinning her down with strong legs.

"I take it that's a yes," Clarke said with a chuckle as Lexa's lips moved against her neck.

" _Shof op_ Clarke," Lexa replied. "Just kiss me."

"Getting bossy already? You know just because we're married it doesn't mean I suddenly going to do everything that you say. I'm not the submissive wife type."

"Thankfully not," Lexa said in a deep low tone as she kissed along Clarke's jaw.

She raised her head and stared into her eyes.

"I like you the way that you are."

"Lucky for me," Clarke said.

Lexa grinned broadly and leaned down to kiss her bride tilting her head as their lips connected. Clarke slipped her tongue into her mouth and Lexa responded gently, her lithe body shifting.

"You're wearing too many clothes," Clarke said as their lips separated.

"I'm only wearing a dress."

"Exactly."

Clarke's hands moved to the bottom of the dress and she lifted the material, her hands grazing over Lexa's powerful thighs and pulling it up. She raised it slowly brushing her fingertips along her waist and the sides of breasts until she lifted the material over her head. She chased Lexa's mouth as soon as the material was gone aching to reconnect. Lexa moaned and was back on top of her kissing her in a second, Clarke's hands on her waist.

She fumbled with her bra to discard it. It was one from Arkadia, Clarke having persuaded her long ago that they were better at securing her breasts than the cloth her own people used and Lexa did find them more snug though the clasp was trickier. Clarke's hands reached up to undo it for her and Lexa gratefully let her remove the garment focussing entirely on enjoying the sensation of Clarke's lips on her own.

Clarke's fingers immediately slipped down to her other piece of underwear to pull them down and Lexa allowed her to discard that too. She opened her eyes and drank in the underwear that Clarke wore.

"Arkadia has more like this?" Lexa asked running her hand over Clarke's breast and squeezing.

"Some. There's not a lot in my size."

"You are perfect," said Lexa running her hands over Clarke's rounded stomach and down to her thighs.

"You are one to talk," Clarke murmoured running her hands along Lexa's toned stomach muscles. "I wish I had muscles like these."

Lexa's eyes were focussed on her, serious and deep but warm.

"You do not need them. We are what we are. We all have different bodies. Slim or broader, small breasts or large. It is all beautiful."

Clarke grinned.

"So you are saying that you don't have a type."

Lexa ran her hands over Clarke's waist and downwards slipping under.

"Not particularly," she said. "Women are generally very nice to look at."

Clarke gasped slightly as she felt Lexa squeeze her ass.

"This needs removing," Lexa said in a very matter of fact tone looking down at the black panties.

She pulled them down and discarded the material then glanced upwards at Clarke's black bra.

"That can stay on for now," she said as if she was discussing a battle strategy.

Her eyes were hungry as she lifted one of Clarke's legs and slotted herself in between them to join their naked cores.

She moved slowly at first, meeting Clarke's eyes to watch her reactions as she rubbed their bodies together. She watched Clarke's blue eyes stare into hers with fascination and then as she grinded harder and faster she saw the fascination turn to hunger and her eyelids begin to close. Lexa kept her eyes open, blinking to resist closing her then as she moved sensually against Clarke. She brushed the hair back from Clarke's face watching her lover gradually lose control as they moved together.

She watched her wife unravel beside her and beneath her. They were moving a lot, Clarke unable to control her hips, which moved of their own accord to maximise contact. Lexa kept her control for much longer, determined to watch Clarke experience this moment. She brushed her hair, stroking it, her hands touching Clarke's neck tenderly.

Somehow this felt right, this tenderness. Clarke had already ravaged her earlier. She wanted to make love to her wife now with gentleness.

When Clarke's orgasm hit her, Lexa stroked her hair back from her face and caressed the side of her forehead softly then wrapped her arm around her to hold her close. She kissed the underneath of Clarke's jaw as her head strained back and watched her tense jaw muscles relax as she let go and moaned out loud in that unique husky but feminine voice that she had.

Lexa continued to kiss her, feeling her own orgasm building and Clarke moan against her lightly in a higher tone as Lexa began to grin more furiously at her own approach. When it hit her she held Clarke and moaned into the underside of her jaw feeling Clarke's fingers caressing the side of her face as she fell over the precipice. Clarke moved against her slowly and she felt it hit her again almost immediately. From the high pitched noises Clarke made it was as bad for her, the contact drawing out more pleasure.

Neither of them were sure how long it lasted or how many times they orgasmed against each other, only that they lay in each other's arms for quite some time without speaking.

"Ai houmon," Clarke muttered. "God I love you."

"I love you," Lexa replied in a whisper.

She caressed the skin on Clarke's shoulder content to press her nose into her cheek to inhale the sweet scent of her niron.

"What next?" Clarke asked.

Lexa raised her head and spoke softly.

"We keep protecting our people. There are bound to be more threats to our safety."

"We'll face them together," said Clarke staring into those deep green eyes that she had come to love so much.

"Together," Lexa said in agreement.

"But for now..." Clarke said with a sudden smirk. "We don't have to talk."

Lexa grinned and they set off again, kissing and rolling around in the bed both of them knowing that it was going to be a very long and very fun night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skaikru - sky clan/people  
> Niron - lover  
> Sha - yes  
> Shof op - Shut up

**Author's Note:**

> Skaikru - Sky clan/people  
> Louwoda kilron - Shadow Valley Clan  
> Leksa - Lexa  
> Azgeda - Ice nation


End file.
